Where do I go from here?

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 9/14/2011 11:07 PM (GMT -6)   
So before I had my counseling appointments set up and I got to see them just once before everything began to fall apart piece by piece. First I got sick with a fever of 104.5F went to the hospital and ended up being admitted because of preterm labor. Yes right now I'm about 30 weeks along but now I have strict bedrest but due to events after that none of it makes a difference. Two days ago my family and I were in a car accident and although the cars themselves suffered the most.. its now put us without a car. No one is really willing to help right now or have other obligations like work or whatever reasons. I understand but now I can't go and see my counselor or psychiatrist. I've already cancelled my appointment for tomorrow due to lack of transportation and I'm feeling as if I should eliminate the other 2 coming as well. I need them so badly right now especially after the effect the accident had on my mental state. Like seeing the other car come at me over and over plus being afraid to really ride in a car period. My boyfriend right now is just as bad off mentally as I am and isn't helping by saying things like he is thinking of doing something stupid to fix money situations since he can't help with that or my mental state. Right now I don't feel as I have anyone in the world I can ask for help. I feel as if my planned pregnancy was a mistake or that I'm no good for even wishing the baby I wanted so much didn't exist. Even if I still want to be with her and hold her in my arms at last it doesn't over rule the fact that my mind continues to harbor negative thoughts against her. I can push those thoughts away but as for my life.. If I can't get the help so desperately want and need, everything is just going to crumble. My body is already aching from the stress of the situation itself. My chest hurts all the time even now but my heart is assumed healthy(due to recent check ups) and the headaches they don't go away for long anymore. I already feel like a failure for my body not wanting to continue this pregnancy as is. I just feel like its all my fault.. everything. I just can't fix it but death is not an option but I just don't know what else to do. I just wanted someone to understand and guide me in the right direction. That's all I needed besides for my baby to make it here without complications. But now here I stand asking myself where do I go from here?

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 32
   Posted 9/15/2011 12:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Living, As a male I would suggest, regardless of his mental state, that your boyfriend accept the responsibility of organising transport for you. The last thing you need is the pressure of not seeing medical help. Having a child is a tremendous strain on a woman and she needs every bit of help the father has. Tell him you cannot deal with it and ask him to organise your attendances as required. Surely he has mates who have cars. He will know someone who can help, even a neighbour but let him carry the weight of that for you.
Try and take it easy on yourself, you are not responsible for everything that happens, it's just life.

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 9/15/2011 5:54 AM (GMT -6)   
I wish I could ask him to do that but seeing as he told me he was not responsible for getting me where I need to go, I have no one. He said because I was a grown woman I should do it myself. It kind of leaves me by myself in this without his support. I guess it just seems as if I'm out of options and that all I have is hope that maybe some idea will come to mind or some miracle will happen.

Sometimes I wish I could just make it go away but in life there's no off switch to problems.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 9/15/2011 10:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Ask one of his friends and I bet he will start thinking of you. Do you know one of his friends with a car? That will surely get him off of his butt to help you. Do what you got to do. Do you have a dial a ride or cab service there? Is it far? I sure hope that you can get to yiour appointments. Do you have a girlfriend thaqt would take you? I am sure you will find a way once you think about it. Somebody will surely offer some help. Ask around. Your appointments are important. I am sorry about the accident. I am glad it didn't hurt the baby any,. This baby is a prescious life inside of you. Take good care of it and do what you are suppose to do. Get the bed rest. Think about a phone conversation with your counselor. That could help you.

Best wishes.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 9/15/2011 1:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Talk to your counselor and explain the situation, how you are feeling, etc. Your counselor may be aware of resources or have options available that you don't know about.

I know some of the counselors at our county mental health department will do in home counseling and/or counseling over the phone in cases where their client can not make it into the office. Sometimes they will even go and pick the person up and bring them to the office and take them back home or know of someone who is willing to do it to help out, like another patient/client and they just schedule both appointment back to back. There are a lot of things that I know they have done. There are usually options, which is my whole point.

If worse comes to worse and things start getting really bad and you start having some really harmful thoughts you might even want to consider checking yourself into the hospital to get the help you need.

Anyway start with talking to your counselor about options and if you strike out there then call your local public assistance office. You can also try places like the Salvation Army, public health department, etc.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
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