Part 2... PRETTY LENGTHY [told the guy about my std] his reaction when he say me about 4 days later

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Jackie_0mg
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Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 427
   Posted 9/20/2011 4:27 PM (GMT -6)   
yesterday i went to the library to work on my senior paper and to meet up with this guy i like . i told him ahead of time i had homework that i HAD to get done i got it done thankfully 1 hour passed and i was about done we talked about simple things in life he didnt bring "IT " up as we kept talking he gave me a hug and a kiss on the lips deep dowwn i was shocked because after i had told him i had herpes (over the phone) he said he needed a break from our relationship which is understandable. i had told him i was hungry and he suggested that i go to his house to eat because he didnt have any money to spare (hes 20 btw). i thought for like 5 min. if i should go to his house or head home me and my mom have a rocky relationshipthat we constantly trying to build UP . anyway he could tell that i wanted to go but i was very hessitant about saying yes he commented and said you trynna be a grown woman and your scared of your mom my reaction is that is my mom and i am trying to have a better relationship w/ her because iam going to need her ( oct. 10 im getting a colonotmy colon removed). but it really upset me when he implied that i couldnt make chooices on my own so i said sure ill go to your house .while we waited for the bus he asked me why didnt i tell him earlier about that thing . i told him it's hard to tell im still dealing with the reality of it myself. i felt my self getting teary eyed so i was like can we talk about this later(we never did) he said sure at the house.then he gave me another hug and was like i wanna be with you i see you have potential and then he whispered in my ear i love you which was a really big deal because he wouldnt say it for the longest . so we took the city bus to his house long story short we ened up  personaly i told him that i was changing to better my self and i wanted to be abstinent until i was mentaly ready to be in an intimate relationship with anyone(i have been sexually sober for 4 weeks) ....well he was high too and kept pressuring me to do it for the longest i said NO! i felt like i was incontrol and i was able have self control i was EXTREMLY proud of myself. i felt akward that we were tryig to get intimate because its like i just told him i had herepes and i  felt like he might of needed more time to relize what i said . the longer he touched me the more i was falling for his trick i knew what was hapening but my mouth and body were doing to diffrent things . i kept telling him no lets not but by body wasnot acting that way. then i started to feel like i had NO SELF-CONTROL. we endedup having sex and right when we were done i got ready to go. he took the bus back with me halfway and the whole time we were silent he only said on thing which was YOU WANTED TO DO IT SO ITS NOT LIKE I FORCED YOU.  iknow thats all i said back i felt so stupid like how could i have allowed myself to do this again i had just been treated for 3 diffrent std in 1 doctor visit and im still doing. it was like the second worst felling i have had my body was numb i got that choked upfeeling in my throat that you feel right before you cry. i didnt cry though because he was next to me its not like i couldnt speak he knew deep down that i ddnt want sex but my actions werent showing it so what else was he suppose to do i guess . i felt helpless its like i deserved to be shot in the middle of my eyebrows point blank . i was literly disgusted with myself. i got home late at 8or9 o clock my mom was upset w/ me i lied and told her i was at a friends. the thing though is he told me he loved me he's still with me after that but we can never spend one day together without having sex. the only time we havenot had sex was the 1st time i meet him wich was 6 months ago.
 
Jackie, I had to edit your post for content.  We aren't allowed to discuss illegal drugs on the forum.  Thank you for understanding.  Hugs, Karen

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 9/20/2011 7:56:27 PM (GMT-6)


Sara14
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Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4034
   Posted 9/20/2011 7:25 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't mean to sound harsh, but if he loved you he would never pressure you into having sex or oral sex. That isn't love. And the fact he said "it's not like I made you..." means he knows he pressured you into it and took advantage of you and he felt guilty.

He's a creep and a jerk. Cut off all contact with him. What's more important -- your health or some idiot guy who is going to pressure you into doing things you don't really want to do?

Since you said you knew you didn't want to have sex but your body was reacting differently, maybe you need to not allow yourself to get into these situations for now, i.e. don't go over to guys' houses alone, etc.

I'm sure you know, but you should go to the doctor to get tested for STDs again if you haven't since you had sex with this guy.

Sara14
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4034
   Posted 9/20/2011 7:27 PM (GMT -6)   
I re-read your post, and if you said no to him, then what he did is rape.
27 years old; diagnosed March 2007

Asacol, 6 tabs, 2xday; Rowasa every other night; Ortho Tri-Cyclen; Wellbutrin started 8/4

Jackie_0mg
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 427
   Posted 9/21/2011 10:45 AM (GMT -6)   
no i said one of toes no's where i was laughing deep down i was serious but i dont expect for him to know that .

Sara14
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4034
   Posted 9/21/2011 2:47 PM (GMT -6)   
No means no. Doesn't matter how you said it.
 
He's a sleazeball for pressuring you into sex. There are lots of guys out there who wouldn't do that to you....who would respect you. Get out of this relationship now before it gets even worse.
 
Plus, if you're under the influence of alcohol/drugs, you can't legally give consent.

Jackie_0mg
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 427
   Posted 9/23/2011 10:45 AM (GMT -6)   
what do you mean you cant leagly give concent i havent heard that one .....
no i dont feel like he presured me i mean i did but diddnt sometimes i fell like i dont even know what i want

Sara14
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4034
   Posted 9/23/2011 5:37 PM (GMT -6)   
You told him you didn't want to have sex. Then he kept asking you for it or whatever...that's pressuring you and it's not ok. This guy doesn't seem to have your best interest in mind regardless if it was rape or not.

Yeah, in the United States, it is legally considered rape if one of the people is drunk/high and the other isn't...you can't give consent/say it's ok to have sex when you can't think clearly due to drugs or alcohol.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/abc/sex/consent.html

Post Edited (Sara14) : 9/23/2011 5:46:46 PM (GMT-6)


Jackie_0mg
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 427
   Posted 9/24/2011 12:06 AM (GMT -6)   
thanks for the useful information.
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