Dating a new guy who has fallen into a deep depression. Please help!

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/21/2011 8:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

I'm fairly new to dating and depression, and I don't have experience with either one especially in this case. Please forgive me if I sound naive, ignorant, and/or inexperienced.

I began dating this wonderful guy a month ago and things were going great up until August 28th when Hurricane Irene really took a toll on the state of Vermont. The guy I'm seeing, his town got severely flooded and his place had to be evacuated. He's been temporarily homeless for 24 days now because they're trying to repair the damages that were done by the flooding.

From this time, he has mentioned a couple of times as to how depressed he is, but his actions are speaking a lot louder. I've mentioned to him on several occasions that I'd be more than happy to help him with things that he needs, but he's not willing to take my help. I've also noticed an extreme withdrawal in communication from him. He doesn't call me at all. He has no interest in spending time with me. I'm usually the one to initiate contact, and when I do he doesn't always answer. I had to write him an e-mail, and he finally responded four days later.

I want to be there to help him but at the same time, I feel as if I'm being pushed away because he keeps denying my help.

I'm truly at a loss here, and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say or what more I can do, which is why I'm asking for who ever is willing to help me here. Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 9/22/2011 6:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Gypsy

We lost everything in Katrina...he is in shock (and I mean that in the medical term)'s hard to explain when you not onlly lose your home, but so does everybody you know, there are no jobs, buildings, schools, no landmarks..

I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. He may be unable to sustain a relationship at this point-that takes alot of mental energy, and altho he'sd be better off talking with someone, we cannot force it.

I would continue to be there thru any means necessary, email, a card...just let him know you are still there for him when he's ready....and then sit back and wait. I'm sorry for his loss-Katrina changed me forever-I hope he can come back

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