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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 427
   Posted 9/23/2011 12:15 PM (GMT -6)   
heyyyy well iam felling better i curently joined best buddies (for thoes who dont know its when your friends with someone who is mental challanged)
well my friend canot speak she is in a wheel chair and she slobbers a LOT . i personal dont mind  and i can handle this but i was wondering what could we do because its my job to do things w/ her.
Shes 16 and i am 17 she looks like a baby and i have no idea if i am suppose to treat her like an infant or the age she is help ! if you have had any type of experince in this area.
oh and also for her to eat her food has to be smahed up and put in the back of her muth to sallow !
bring in thoes ideas i'd greatly appreciate it :D .... smilewinkgrin

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42613
   Posted 9/23/2011 2:27 PM (GMT -6)   

This is a wonderful thing you are doing. Is there anybody there that can help you?

I would think that first you have to access the situation to determine what she is able to do and not to do. Obviously she probably has trouble with conversation too, but if you are patient and really pay attention, you should be able to tell what she wants and needs. If she can't so things, you may have to help her go to the bathroom, I am not sure. She might have a diaper on or something.

It takes guts to do what you are doing. You should be very proud of yourself.

Make sure that you smash the food up good, or else she could choke. And give her small bites. Maybe she would be able to play some games too. I am sorry that she slobbers. I am glad that you can handle that.

I am thinking that she would mentally be somewhere in between an infant and her age. Though she may not be able to do somethings, she can probably communicate somewhat. You will have to spend some time with her to get an idea of how much she can do.

I wish you the best. This will be a very gratifying experience for you. You are doing a huge thing Jackie. You will be blessed for this.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 9/23/2011 3:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Great job!! See if there is a caretaker to talk to. I would treat her as her age until you know different. I would play music, read out loud, tell silly stories, whatever....she is thrilled to have you there. But you will end up learning more from her than vice versa.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 4538
   Posted 9/23/2011 6:41 PM (GMT -6)   
That's great to hear! That sounds like a great positive thing to get involved in. I agree with the others to see if there is a caretaker you could talk to about your questions.
27 years old; diagnosed March 2007

Asacol, 6 tabs, 2xday; Rowasa every other night; Ortho Tri-Cyclen; Wellbutrin started 8/4

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 9/23/2011 9:50 PM (GMT -6)   
with much loving compassion, jamie. :-)



Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 9/24/2011 1:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Just because you new friend can not speak does not mean she can not communicate. Because of the challenges she has due to her disability it will be up to you to learn her "language". Once you do she is liable to surprise you at how much she can communicate.

For the most part you want to treat her like anyone else. While she may need care more on par with a small child she isn't a child so be careful not to treat her like one when you talk to her and interact with her. You will of course want to balance this with what her abilities are, but for the most part just be yourself around her. One thing to keep in mind is that just because she can't speak and has other challenges does not mean she can not understand things. Because of her mental and physical challenges you and anyone else have no way to truly assess how much she really does comprehend.

The more you interact with her, and others like her, you will see what I mean.

The advice about talking with her caregivers is spot on. They can give you a lot of valuable information about who she is, what she likes, etc.

I spent 5 or 6 years working with this population as a habilitation/life skills coach and it was the most rewarding job I ever had. I learned more from them about life than I ever taught.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
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