Do I jinx myself?

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bayoub2
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   Posted 9/27/2011 3:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi HW forum
 
     I mentionedoc put me on abilify...and lo,and behold...it is kind oflike a spring crocus, just a teeny little sprout...but
 
I got out of bed, cleared desk, filed bills, made longoverdue phone calls. Egad, I was humming in the shower!!!!
 
Hubby did not notice a thing, as usual, but who cares. I'm not putting all my eggs inone basket but...but say aprayer. If I get well enuf to work, Katie and can move outandhave a peaceful calm life, and I guess He'll self medicatehimself to death. I love my hubby, but the lies, the moneydisappearing (my daughter's collegee fund) the constant tugging on me for this or that...oh sweet Jesus, give me the strngth to remove my child from a degrading bitter home. Please remember me in my parayers (god my typing sucks!)
 
Maggie

theHTreturns...
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Date Joined Mar 2009
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   Posted 9/27/2011 4:30 AM (GMT -6)   
abilify is fantastic maggie!!!!!!!!!!! me 30mg. really has helped a lot. oh my friend i am prayin' for you. here for you. keep strong maggie, better times await. go with it, keep being strong and focused. we care, jamie.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 9/27/2011 5:31 AM (GMT -6)   
they started me on 2mg but i seem to flag inafternooon, s so I'll sure to go up. Jamiee, yesterday am, I woke up humming a tune, in the dream,I was with all my family ona ship on the lake we spentour summers on. So, I got the heyboard and managed to write a littlemusic (right hand onlylol)
But it was all the family on the boatand their happiness-I have not felt real joy in several yrs...I coo and make all the right noises, but I don'feel it-what a fraud...butmaybe now I have a shot...you are always so encouraging, positive to all of us. I know you havr your probs todeal with, but do yousmile when you see a sunset, birds in motion and feel it for real in your soul You do actually have real feelings now, besides theself-loathing, that apathy? Thanks for your encouraging words. There is never too many of them-lol but you keep it short and sweet.


Thank you, my friend
Maggie

Anytime you want ot get polysyllabic, let me knoe-lol

theHTreturns...
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Date Joined Mar 2009
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   Posted 9/27/2011 6:06 AM (GMT -6)   
i smile. and yes i keep it short and sweet at times. will advise on the poly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cheers,

-jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
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Date Joined Mar 2009
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   Posted 9/27/2011 6:21 AM (GMT -6)   
i have many feelings. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 9/27/2011 7:01 AM (GMT -6)   
I can tell... I'm just a talker. My mom (who was Brit) would finally say (very propah) Margaret, please you have diarrhea of the mouth" LOL But so many things we should say, we don't.

Busybody time: do youtake BP meds (curious b/c of hubby)

I guess it's bedtime over yonder-sleep well

Maggie

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
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   Posted 9/27/2011 7:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Maggie,

This is great news!!! I hope that it works for you. I take 10mg a day. It works perfect. Helps you collect your thoughts and not over think things. Keeps me from talking to myself all the time. I get too much on my mind I guess and start talking out loud too much. But this helps. I am glad that it is working for you.

Congrats!!!

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 9/27/2011 7:07 AM (GMT -6)   
yep maggie, its cool!!!!!!!!!!!!

lithium, tegretol, abilify, seroquel

also insulin dependant diabetic, lombroscol spine, genetic condition, retinapathy and nuerpathy of the feet. insomnia (severe)

use a cane. :-)
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 9/27/2011 9:16 AM (GMT -6)   
thanks Karen and Jamiee
I'm on seroquel and abilify too plus welbutrin for my craziness!!!

Karen, I talked to myself incessantly, you should have seen the looks at Walmart-hilarious! But, at 58, I don't really care if strangers think I'm weird. I used to whistle and hum alot, got sick and started the talk (some really stupid stuff). hope i whistle again. It is only a week, therapist said to call next week and we might go to 5mg, because it seems to flag in safternoon.

Anyway, cross fingers and toes. Oh and job interview at 10 (first one)-please let it be

Bye
Maggie

getting by
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   Posted 9/27/2011 9:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Good luck on the job Maggie,

It feels good to be albe to work. I worked a couple of years ago at a convenience store/gas station. I loved it. But quit in the wintertime because it is hard for me to go out in the cold. But I still miss it to this day. It felt so good to be earning my own money. Made the holidays much easier for me. Sometimes I go back just for that. And they don't care. Just as long as I am there for awhile. Through the busy time. One year I worked New Years Eve by myself. We did over 10,000.00 on my shift alone. My feet were aching at the end of the night. lol...

Know we have our fingers and toes crossed for you. Good luck with the abilify.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

stillme
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Date Joined Aug 2011
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   Posted 9/27/2011 2:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Maggie I am so happy for you. Hope it continues. Wishing you luck on that job too. I love it when one of has good news. Will keep you in my prayers.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 9/27/2011 3:24 PM (GMT -6)   
hI EVERYONE

I just don't want to set myself up again for failure, but I am feeling a little better. I was so suicidal when I saw therapist on mon, she wanted to put me in the bin(she never does that)...so, one dauy at a time.

Job: It is with ATT Call Center, y'know the place we all call and gripe about our bills? Yupper! BUT, no standing or lifting or bending (which I cannot do) I answer phones. The benes are GREAT 2and 1/2 pay for holidays (like Columbus Day and stuff!!) Raises 3x /year. Free phone, headset, free texting and internet. They seem quite Gestapo like, but I've worked for such jerks before, Ican handle it. I have 40 years of customer Service work, but at 58, I'm a little worried about computer skills and can you imagine helping someone w/ their smartphone-LOL. The darn thing will be a stupidphone by the time i'm done.

Anyway, still have 3 more rounds to get this job so keep praying Thanks for being happy for me

Maggie ps my 15 yr old is giving me a crash lesson in computers

getting by
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   Posted 9/27/2011 3:49 PM (GMT -6)   
How could we not be happy for you Maggie. You are a terrific person. It sounds like a great job, especially because there is no lifting and stuff. I am sure that there will be guides on how to do things, you probably just have to look it up. I really hope you get this job and even moreso that you enjoy it once you start. You might even be able to direct people to other people who can help them with a particular problem. It sounds interesting. I hope that you get it. I understand about not wanting to get your hopes up. Just figure if it is meant to be it will. Kudos for you for attempting it!!!

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
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   Posted 9/27/2011 6:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the compliments-i am quite excited, need the money but get to be with other folks and make friends. Therapist upped abilify to 4 so I last all day

I forgot what it felt to feel alive, and I was so scared that day would never come. Hw and all of you have been abig boost and I hope that all of us can get back into the full glory and fun of life.

Pretty good recipe for depression, mine at least.

My warmest wishes to all for a peaceful and sleepy evening/

Maggie

theHTreturns...
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Date Joined Mar 2009
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   Posted 9/27/2011 8:47 PM (GMT -6)   
smilewinkgrin  maggie, all the best - am glad the abilify is helping. smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin   jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 9/29/2011 10:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey
Abilify is helping. This is a good thing because myb testing for ATT was AWFUL!!! The first part was how i would deal with certain situations, second part was math-both a piece of cake. Then came simulated call center where you are switching thru 5-6 windows, customers talked as fast as methheads....I was the oldest one there and second to last to leave. I could learn that computer ina week, and I have a LIFETIME of experience. I'm sure I failed 3rd part, the younguns win again. It is a pass/fail test and they'll email me results. Oh well, their loss, right? But I was already spending that money and my daughter was dreaming of her iIPhone-lol

Maggie

getting by
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   Posted 9/29/2011 10:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Maggie,

I am glad that the abilify is working. Sorry aobut the job. I hope that you find something that you like to do. Keep your chin up and know that we all care about you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 9/29/2011 1:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen. I know there is something out there for me. Slowly climbing out of depression, I'm getting a more positive attitude again.

Maggie

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
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   Posted 9/29/2011 1:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Maggie,
 
It sounds like the abilify is working for you.  It doesn't take very long to tell like the regular ads which take up to six to eight weeks.  I found it started working pretty quickly too.  It also makes the pristiq work better.  So it is a win win situation if it works.  I do see that there are quite a few people that it doesn't work for and that is sad to me.  Because it has been a wonder drug for me.  And I hope that it is for you too. 
 
You always seem to have a very positive attitude on the forum.  You always give good advice and keep other's spirits up.  I think that having that attitude helps where depression and other issues are concerned.  It is so easy to fall into the depths of depression and having a hard time climbing out.  But you keep fighting.  I think at our age, we find we have learned a lot about life.  I have liked my fifties so far.  I liked my thirties, but the forties were hard.  But I find with age comes wisdom.  You realize that life is short.  And I think that is where we find the positive attitude because there is no sense in feeling any other way.  We grab on and hang on for dear life.  It isn't easy, but it can be done.
 
With that being said (my rambling), I hope that this day continues to be good.  Good here so far.  Could stand to have a little sunshine, but the colors of the trees are nice and do brighten up the day.
 
Take care,
 
Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 9/29/2011 2:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen

yeah, I think as I got older I realized that anger, resentment, guilt are just such a waste of energy. As I say"Don't let it rent space in your head". Whatever that is wins if you let it. I learned forgiveness has brought me alot of peace and alot closer to God. And our depression, when it starts to lift gives us a unique perspective on this glorious world...it is harder to appreciate the beauty when you don't see the ugly stuff.

I'm in Gulf Coast Mississippi and it is a glorious day, 75 and sunny, after 6 months of brutal southern summer!!! Where are you, are the leaves turning? No bad news from ATT yet...

Maggie

stillme
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   Posted 9/29/2011 2:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Glad the medicine is working for you. No news is good news. Maybe you did better than you think. Keep the positive attitude going.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
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   Posted 9/29/2011 6:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I am in Michigan. Northern lower. The colors are turning here and it is so pretty. We just had a really hard rain though and I am sure that it knocked some leaves down, but there are others yet to turn. I love the rich red colors. Contrasting with the green pine evergreens. The maples in my yard are mostly yellow and orange. Some have a pink hue to them. Really bright.

I love the four seasons, but the winters last too long. But so far I have made it here. We don't have alligators or poisoness snakes and spiders which I am terrified of. lol... But the winters can get hard.

I hope that you have a good night.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 9/30/2011 11:12 AM (GMT -6)   
Karen

I grew up in Vermont and upstate New York, so I miss those fall days, and crocuses popping thru the snow. Summers here aree brutal, but Christmas, we often eat dinner on the deck. But I miss 4 seasons (I LOVE the snow as I skiied etc when I was young, but onlylike it now when I don't have to drive in it, right?

When daughter graduates high school, we're looking at maybe Tennessee. We could never start over again like we did after Katrina. Of course, they have tornadoes, and floods. AAhhh mother nature, beautiful and cruel!! We do live right on the bayou and if you go in 1-2 miles at night, all you see are red gator eyes looking at you (yum!) But it can be breathtakingly beautiful too

Hope sun is shining on you today

Maggie

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
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   Posted 9/30/2011 11:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Do you post on fibro too? I think we chatted over there.My first husband was called Swamprat. He loved the swamps. He was born in NC, but trained national guards in the swamps of Louisana. I lost him to cancer in 2000. But I have only been to NC once, and it was beautiful...

I envy you. You have beautiful weather and scenery. But I am so use to Michigan that I couldn't live anywhere else.

Hope that you are having a good day.

Hugs, Karen

Hope that the abilify is still helping.
 
PS  Tennessee is beautiful too.  Lots of hills and some mountains.  You will love it there...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
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   Posted 9/30/2011 2:20 PM (GMT -6)   
I sure do Karen. Like you, God blessed me with both-lol. My condolences on the death of your husband. Have you remarried?

It is beautiful here, but a little flat for a mountain girl...but my daughter was born here and here we stay until she flies the coop. Where does that time go??

Thanks for the cold front we are getting right now, dry and 75.

The abilify is a godsend. My husband just said "you are completely different than 2 weeks ago".

I usually do post on Fibro, but when the depression started overriding everything else, I came over here and met some wonderful people, except for 2 (or 1 acting like 2) people. HHa enuf said..talk to you soon. My Daughter has Homecoming game tonight so I'll have 4 or 5 girls doing hair and trying on 30 or 40 outfits each-lol it'll be fun and exhausting!!

Maggie
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