Wish I'd known

I found this site today. Wish I'd known about you all months ago - from what I've seen if I'd been able to talk to you perhaps things wouldn't have got so desperate.

good luck my partner going through a simillar scenario. hope its blue skys from now on .

Thanks for that. It's the partners who suffer too - without your support and understanding there would be no future.

Hey Stumpy.. Welcome..

What's your location?  You in the Lower 48?  I ask because, I was a Payroll Adminstrator for a major Corporation and, know a bit about this kind of stuff...

Here in the states, (Californina) we have State Disability, which sounds like you would qualify for.  That will cover one year, if you are unable to work because of the depression, or whatever the Dx is.

Does your company have Long Term Disability?  That normally will pick up after the SDI ends.

Check out if your doctor thinks you are unable to work and see what he will be willing to sign for. 

If you are about to lose your job and, it is Because of the depression that you are unable to do it, you cannot be fired for an illness.  And the depression is what made you incompetent, I'm guessing.. ?

Talk with your health providers and therapists and see what they say about your state of mind before you took time off.  If it all points back to severe depression, you might be able to get the disability while you recover completely.

Good luck and keep us up to date.

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Hi Raindance
Will follow the advice-am seeing occupational health people from work soon and HR so hope to get some positive outcomes.

Stumpytroll

Hi Lefty
Your message has confirmed that I have finally found somewhere I can share feelings without pressure or censure. I am lusky in so many ways - as my husband said 'it's only money'! Will keep in touch and thanks for your words od support

Hi Stumpy,

Your husband sounds like mine.. !  :)  Except when the money isn't there then, he pouts.. haha.. Make up your mind.

HR is a good source for all the info you need.  And the doctors are your key to what you can qualify for.  I do know that if you can get the Disability going, it takes a very large load off of your shoulders and really helps with the ability to begin healing.

Let us know how it goes for you and just take this healing one day at a time.. you will get there.

 I am happy that you feel some comfort here. Everyone needs a place where there comfort zone is, and able to say how they feel and what they are thinking. It also allows you to be yourself.  You'll know you have a soul mate by the feelings and connection and an understanding between you and the members. There's only one thing to remember. Do not beat yourself up. What happed or is still happening to you is not your fault. We cannot take charge of the things that invade into our lives and make themselves feel right at home. You should see me sometimes. When I get mad or have a bad day, I get the broom and I instantly open the back door and "sweep the devil out". I tell him to "get the heck out of my house" and then I feel better. Sounds silly but whatever works for me.

Stumpy,

Want to add my welcome. Your story is not that much different than many of us here, or at least mine. I too have repressed most emotions for the past 35 years. The only one that I was willing to let out was anger. Now that anger has damaged my relationship with my wife and 2 oldest daughters. The feelings of guilt, inadequacy, shame, and failure are all too familiar to me. I too have massed up my debt to the point that I am working 2 jobs to help pay the bills. Had a meltdown 18 months ago and am just now finding the light I was so desperatly looking for. I guess what I am trying to say is keep looking, there is an end to this and you can find it. It is not easy, but it is there. Slowly, step by step we travel in whatever direction we are facing. I hope you can find the path out of this storm and step by step get through it. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

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We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.

CheerDad, Lefty and all,
Your support has got me thro a bad day. I know All the theories - before my breakdown the last thing I did at work was to produce a staff booklet on stress management and Mental Health issues! Going through it is sooo different. Feels so good to know there is somewhere to go - and people who understand.

God bless

Hugs to all

Stumpytroll

Hi Stumpy,

Well, sometimes we go thru things only to find out that we didn't really understand what others were going thru, when we explained to them how to deal with their issues.  Can't really understand the processes, feelings, fears etc., unless we've been thru it ourselves.

Guess you could call this stage of your life a "Practicum."

When you come out of this, you will be of great value and a guiding light to others.  So, take notes, there Will be a Quiz.. ! 

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Raindance
Never was any good at quizzes!

Stumpytroll

H2Lf

In one of your posts, you may have said you are in Vermont. I'm just north of you.
Correct me if I'm wrong.

Stumpytroll. How did you come up with that "handle" ?

 Happy, Friday!!!! Today is another day and enjoy it. C-ya on the boards and I'm glad you found ut to and that you have already began to settle in!

Hey Stumpytroll . . . just wondered how you are doing this week??? I hope things are looking up! We'd love to have an update . . .

Blessings!

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In His Grip,

Hi all,
Haven't been able to post as husband is working from home and younger son writing degree deisertation - unable to get near computer!
Things a bit more positive - re-mortage came thro so should be able to settle worst of debts soon. Am seeing Occ Health on Mon and hope to get back to work on Tues/Wed. Own Dr happy to sign me off - says I'm making good progress. Still worried over job tho - can't afford to lose this or won't be able to meet new mortage - but trying not to jump fences before I reach them!
I'm not in the US - based in UK, but this is by far the best site I've found.
Stumpytroll 'handle' give by sons, both over 6 feet. I'm short and fat (not being negative -weigh 300 pounds) and sons are Warhammer gamers and very into 'Lord of the rings' - hence name. Must add it is given in love and I think it suits me perfectly!
More upbeat this week with no tears for 5 days. Still v fragile at times, but continue to be blessed by the love and support of family and close friends - not to mention you all.
Will be able to post more next week - will keep youinformed of progress

Thanks for being there

Love and hugs

Stumpytroll

Oh Stumpty!

Thanks for the update (and the kind words). Sounds like things are coming all. Don't forget that life isn't always rosy. But it sounds like you are gaining back some coping skills.

Your boys are sweet . . . giving you a nickname. Thanks for sharing. My nickname comes from the rash on my cheeks . . . my cheeks are "AlwaysRosie". Lupus can do that and I have a "lupus-like" disease which is autoimmune in nature.

You said it well . . . don't try to jump all those fences befoe you reach them. Employment is tenuous even for those who don't realize it. I'm glad you were able to get a handle on that debt. Phewwww that is draining. Now . . . to keep it that way.

Keep checking in with us.

Blessings!

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In His Grip,

AlwaysRosie
Psalms: 139

^{UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease),}

_{Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Depression, GI Probs, High BP, Glucose Intolerance}

 

^{I have no medical training.} 

^{The message above is my sincere attempt to share with you.  You are now my friend.  Thanks for being here.}