Do you know how many times I heard as a kid, I hate you, I wish you were never born, I am going to kill you, and attempts made to do just that, serious and multiple attempts. Know matter what wicked words have been used to hurt you, doesn't make them true, ok.
My greatest revenge on my abusers was not to send them to jail for attempted murder, it was to make a success out of my life inspite of all the crap I had lived through.
At 13 I couldn't do it, that's why I admire you and consider you strong, I got away at 14.5, and I very much understand how overwhelming the decision is. That's why I said, the adults need to sort out the adult problems, you are not the problem, they are. Dad needs to become your advocate and protect you from what is occurring, he would be able to do this alot better when you are feeling safe enough that you manage to express what has really been happening. I know you will get there, but I am trying to say, this mess is not for you to sort out kiddo, the adults need to be doing it.
Please know this, I really do care as others here do too, we want you safe, secure, and we want you to understand you have self worth, you are not a mistake, your Mother has been lying as she lacks the skills to verbally sort issues out, so she resorts to nasty comments, doesn't make them true though