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netball
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 195
   Posted 10/4/2011 12:46 AM (GMT -6)   
hey guys,
 
i havent been on here for w hile now. am feeling really down!!!! dont know what to do????? mum has been really horrible to me lately so i told dad and we had a ''meeting'' today about it all. i said i wanted to move to dads for good and that i dont want to see mum again because i dont like her and she makes me miserable. she satrted to cry. then she said in front of me to my dad that she doesnt beieve im honest with dad about what happens at home with her and that she believes that i am playing her and dad off eachothet. the truth is, im not. i take alot of the blame for the arguments and have done for the last 13 years of my life with her. but as i said to my dad, i can only be pushed so far. she has pushed me too far. i have made arrangements to stay with dad for the next week to have some time out from mum then we will have another ''meeting'' and go from there. am over all this crap i feel and am dealing with. im not going to go back to mums for a long long time. and that is my choice i am making and dad is going to support me with that. and if mum wont let me go, we will be getting lawyers involved and may have to go through court. there is no going back now. i have said all i have to say to mum. i dont even want to call her that. she has ruined my life and i dont even think i do love her, and im being honest. to be honest, i dont know what to think anymore. im just over it all. i dont wanna do anything!!!! but cry!!!!! cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead
thnx 4 listening
 
-jess

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/4/2011 4:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Well done Netball,

You found the courage you needed to find, I am very proud of your strength. You have made a decision that is going to mean life will be safer for you now, and sounds like Dad is on your side. I have been very worried for you for a long time now, and have been waiting for you to decided on your own.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 10/4/2011 8:36 AM (GMT -6)   
I am so happy that you are going to live with your father. You will be safe there. Keep us posted. I am very proud of you for makeing this decision.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

netball
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 195
   Posted 10/4/2011 1:32 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you karen and awty. but i dont think this will be an easy battle. mum clearly said at the meeting yesterday that she will let me go for a week but not long, she wont let me go for good, which is what i want. so dad said if she doesnt, he will get lawyers involved and all that. a mate of mine went through this and it was over $7000!!!!!!!!!! but dad said he will do annything to make me happy. this is all just very very stressful for me and im over it, but i have to keep going through with it now! school is going s**t and im always getting in trouble now. stupid things, like asking for a pencil, or swinging on my chair, or talking. imjust over all that s**t from the teachers!!!! they are all saying that there has been a dramatic change in my attitude towards learning and my lack of respect for the teachers is unacceptable! i dont see that but obiousltly they do. i stayed up most of last night, crying. thats all im doing lately, and i hate it!!!!! im just getting angrier and angrier every day and smaller things are frustrating me very quickly! i just wanna be alone.

-jess

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 10/4/2011 3:07 PM (GMT -6)   
I think that you are acting out because of all the pain you have been going through with your situation at home. With your mum I mean. I think it is time to tell your dad what has been going on. That way you will be able to stay with him.

I wish you would try to learn at school. It is beneficial for you. You should learn as much as possible while you are young, so that you can get a good job and support yourself when you get older. Have you ever thought about what you would like to do in life? Sports maybe??? This is your life. Once you get things squared away with your home life, start thinking about whaqt you would like to do with your life. You do have options, but you need to try to take school seriously, for you... You are bright, and I think you could do anything that you put your mind to.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

netball
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 195
   Posted 10/5/2011 10:45 PM (GMT -6)   
i wish i never got myself into this mess. mum just told me that she WONT let me move into dads for good and she thinks i just wanna move to dads cuz its cruisier. i just want to be away from this whole situation. away from mum, and dad and everyone. i want to be able to take this ''happy'' mask off. im so lost right now. it seems mum is not willing to back down. which means lawyers will most likely be getting involved. a costly process. stressfula nd legal. i dont know what to do anymore. i was born a mistake. obvioustly, it seems i have been living a big miskake too. i just wanna be happy. :"(

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/7/2011 8:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Sweetheart, you are no mistake at all, you will prove them all wrong one day, that will be your greatest revenge. I have posted a suggestion on your other thread below this one.

You need to let Dad know how serious you are about moving in with him, and you need to tell Dad that the problem lays between the adults, you are a child, and shouldn't be the centre of the adult problems, ask Dad to advocate on your behalf, but tell him it is overwhelming you to be so involved, and can he do the fighting for now on your behalf. I think he would understand this request

netball
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 195
   Posted 10/7/2011 3:16 PM (GMT -6)   
awty: the thing is though. i AM a mistake as my mother has told me. thats just it. there aint nothing else to it. im a mistake. wasnt ment to be here. dad knows how serious i am about moving in with him. so does my stepmum. but my mother doesnt. she is a horrible woman, who has abandoned one of her kids and now is refusing to let go of me just because she dont want me to go live with dad. cuz she hates him. im just sick of it all and its only the beginning :(

awty
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/8/2011 5:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Do you know how many times I heard as a kid, I hate you, I wish you were never born, I am going to kill you, and attempts made to do just that, serious and multiple attempts. Know matter what wicked words have been used to hurt you, doesn't make them true, ok.

My greatest revenge on my abusers was not to send them to jail for attempted murder, it was to make a success out of my life inspite of all the crap I had lived through.

At 13 I couldn't do it, that's why I admire you and consider you strong, I got away at 14.5, and I very much understand how overwhelming the decision is. That's why I said, the adults need to sort out the adult problems, you are not the problem, they are. Dad needs to become your advocate and protect you from what is occurring, he would be able to do this alot better when you are feeling safe enough that you manage to express what has really been happening. I know you will get there, but I am trying to say, this mess is not for you to sort out kiddo, the adults need to be doing it.

Please know this, I really do care as others here do too, we want you safe, secure, and we want you to understand you have self worth, you are not a mistake, your Mother has been lying as she lacks the skills to verbally sort issues out, so she resorts to nasty comments, doesn't make them true though

netball
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 195
   Posted 10/8/2011 5:50 PM (GMT -6)   
awty, thank you for that. i appreciate that and i get what ur saying and i believe it and know its true. but the thing is, im not very strong mentally and this is all killing me and i honestly dont know what to do from here. this whole situation along with all this other drama going on at school. i really want to get this whole drama thing over with mum so i can be happy at dads. from then, i will sort the rest of my life out. but this drama going on is killing me and is preventing me from feeling the happiness i want. i dont know how to say what im thinking/feeling but i hope this makes even just abit of sence?!
thanks for caring,

-jess
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