I've had a long life

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PA_grandma
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   Posted 10/9/2011 10:25 AM (GMT -6)   
This is my first post in this topic on your forums. 
Everyone here sounds so young.... and I'm a bit hesitant to butt in.
 
I'm almost eighty years old.  I've reached a point where I don't want to wake up in the morning.  Why bother... Life is not enjoyable anymore, just full of stress.   Although I have no plans to end it... I wish it would, somehow, someway.
 
I don't need 'help'.  It just was a challenge to put these thoughts in black and white for ME to see how bleak my feelings really are.
 
~  Joyce

It's Genetic
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   Posted 10/9/2011 10:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello, Pa_Grandma, and welcome to the Depression Forum.

You'd be surprised at the age of some of us!

Talk about stress! Take a look at some of the threads on the Bipolar Forum or the Anxiety and Panic Forums!! You seem calm to me and aware of how life can be at times.

I know you're not asking for advice, but I want to tell you that there are medications which will relieve the feelings that you're experiencing.
Why not discuss it with a psychiatrist? I've found them to be extremely helpful in teaching me that chemical imbalance, removal of certain foods in the diet, and taking the appropriate medication to restore the function of the brain neurotransmitters make a big difference in how one feels.

What about grief? At almost 80 you have no doubt experienced a good bit of that in life. Some of that might be talked about with a specialist who will guide you into better feeling tone. There is nothing like having friends who care about you to help you feel better. (Having grandchldren is not to be sneezed at, either; they're wonderful faith and joy revivers for those of us who are elderly.)

And, finally, how's the spiritual side of your life?

I see you as an independent, fully alert, and sharing person. Those are things to be proud of.

Please continue to take care of yourself and communicate with members here if you wish to talk about things.

It's Genetic

PA_grandma
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   Posted 10/9/2011 11:07 AM (GMT -6)   
It's G....Thanks for your input.

I don't believe my stress is stictly emotional... it's caused by the reality of life. Medication, therapy and/or spiritual guidance will not eliminate the bleak facts I face daily.

Husband's two cancers
Youngest son's wife died, left with two youngsters
Economy perhaps closing our business of 38 years
Eldest son returns home - out of work & funds
Cat suffers from neurological reaction to flea meds
My Emphysema

It's hard to continue... I keep wondering, 'what's next'.

~ Joyce

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 10/9/2011 11:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Grandma,

Welcome to the depression forum. Like IG said, you would be surprised at the ages of the people that visit here. They range from teens to elderly. We all seem to suffer witht the same feelings at times.

I am glad that you have joined us. I can feel your wisdom. I hope that you share with us some of your life's experiences. We all yearn to learn. I feel with age comes wisdom and understanding. I am 52 and now realizing that there is a lot to be said for age. You have experienced a lot in life.

I hope that your troubles subside. And that you get to feeling better soon. Stick with us. We will try to cheer you up.

All I can say is that it is a beautiful day here today. We have had a lovely autumn. I look forward to each and every morning of seeing sunshine and the wonderful colors of nature. I am fortunate enough to be able to enjoy that. I am happy for that.

Take care,

Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

PA_grandma
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Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 3667
   Posted 10/9/2011 11:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Karen,

I appreciate the welcome.
The HealingWell forum for my husband's condition was very active and helpful. It inspired me to post here this morning.

I saw this week a Steve Jobs speech where he said
"Live each day as if it were your last...some day that will be true".

Joyce
p.s.
I'll be back

awty
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Date Joined Aug 2010
Total Posts : 790
   Posted 10/9/2011 11:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh goodie, we have another Grandma here, turn turn turn turn turn ,
 
PA Grandma, a warm welcome to the forum, I value deeply the wisdom, honesty and the fact that Grandma's always see the good in people, they know what really matters, and they don't waste time getting angry at things that just don't matter.  Your Grand kids are lucky to have you still, so when you are feeling down about the reality of life, look at a photo of them, look into thier eyes, and know that to them, they see value in you, they don't actually care about the ecomomy, they don't care that members are out of work, they only care if they feel loved, and safe and secure.
 
I too saw that quote, some are lucky enough to have for warning, others aren't, as long as you enjoy more days than you don't was the rest of the quote I think.
 
I am sorry for all you have lost, all the hardship you are facing, and I am sure, there is much more you have not yet said, that isn't age related, many younger people that post, have lost so much as well, have had things taken from them, we are all in the same boat, life kind of does that to us, and we have to ride the rollar-coaster as best as we can.  When we lose someone, we were first loved by that person, that makes us lucky to feel such deep love, so many never allow that experience to happen for them.
 
Anyway, now I am dribbling, just a warm welcome to you, I have a friend terminal at the moment, and the things you first posted about, are things she battles with as well, to me, it is a normal part of moving to a place of exceptance.
 
BTW Grandma, I am the good one round here, truely, *batters eyes and rocks back and fourth on my heals*
 

PA_grandma
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Date Joined Nov 2010
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   Posted 10/9/2011 12:25 PM (GMT -6)   
awty, (grandma, I assume)
Your post made me smile...first time today, keep it coming! Yes, grandkids are a joy, and a challenge...especially the 15 year old!

Thanks again for the warm welcome...
....time wounds all heals!

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 10/9/2011 12:50 PM (GMT -6)   
lol...

@Awty, I am sorry to hear about your friend. It is hard, but it is possible to just be there for them. I wish you strength.

@Grandma, I am happy that you were able to smile with Awty's post. I wish you much joy today. It is beautiful here and I am going to walk the dog out in an abandoned apple orchard with a couple of friends and their dogs. Hope to take some photos.

Hugs, to all...

Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

PA_grandma
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Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 3667
   Posted 10/9/2011 1:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Karen,
It's a beautiful day here in Pennsylvania, too. Should get out and enjoy it as well.
First... I've got to capture the Stink Bugs. I hope no one else has the infestation that this area has encountered since '09

awty,
Forgive my not mentioning your friend. That must be very difficult for you, too.

It's Genetic
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Date Joined Mar 2010
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   Posted 10/9/2011 1:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Maybe we grandmothers could share a story now and then about our grandchilren that will help:

My grandson, just barely above toddler age, said to me several weeks ago, "I know that you love me, Mema, but will you love me to infinity?"
"Yes,darling," I said, "I will love you right into infinity." "Wow," he
said, "that's an awful lot of zeroes!" Now, that kind of love will lift
me right off my feet!

They're an inspiration to us, aren't they?

I.G.

PA_grandma
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Date Joined Nov 2010
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   Posted 10/9/2011 1:17 PM (GMT -6)   
I.G. ....another Grandma, I don't feel so out of place now!

Adorable story from your (very smart) grandson. Unfortunately, I don't see mine as often. They're in another state. If they come up with a 'goodie', I'll be sure to share.

Joyce

It's Genetic
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Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 10/9/2011 1:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Great!, Grandma!

I.G.

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/9/2011 2:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi PA grandma

I missed all the action!!! LOL

Welcome to our house...I missed welcoming you b/c I have my grandaughter here today. Check this out ladies. I am 58 with a 15 year old daughter and stepgranddaughter same age-double trouble and like 2 peas ina pod.


I am so sorry you feel so low. We don't value our older folks like we should...there are so many things I wish I could ask my Mom Dad and grandparents. I had a great grandfather who wrote about 150 pages of his upbringing on a Vermont farm in the late 1800's. There is so much we can learn from anyone taht is an our elder.

I know Karen, awty and IG have been harping on thhis, but you can have a better life, no matter how much is left. You will be with your beloved husband soon enough. I'm sure he doesn't want to see you sad. There is counseling and medications and that is ok. I know that your generation was taught that if you had the willpower, you'd pull out of the depression. That just isn't true for alot of us. Give yourself a break. I know those grandbabies need you.

We DO have alot of very young people here and it breaks my heart because I had a great number of happy years and these kids are already having so many worries. So I thank God for that. You are not alone here, we have THOUSANDS of years experience here_LOL!!!

Stick with us-we actually have a few laughs and help one another and alot of us don't have any friends left on the outside. We need some new blood

Maggie

PA_grandma
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Date Joined Nov 2010
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   Posted 10/9/2011 3:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Maggie,  How nice to hear from you! 
 
Another 'grandma'! (but 20 years younger...grrrr)  TWO fifteen year olds... oh, lucky you!
 
Just came back from spraying weed killer, out of breath... but decided to give one last check in here. (I'm an early to bedder, early riser... 7:30 after Jeopardy - up at 4:30 AM.   All my choice, love it in the quiet of dawn.   Don't be surprised to see some early messages from me.
 
You are SO right on about the knowledge about our families.  Especially now that they're gone, how I wish I'd asked more questions about their childhood...their successes (and failures).  I should write, as your great grandfather did... someday someone might be interested.
 
about medications... nah, it's all I can do to take my calcium daily.  Seriously.... I'm afraid of side effects, but if my mood gets worse... I'll consider.  You gals keep everyones spirits high... I can see that.
 
Thanks to all of you again for making me feel at home so quickly. 
Better quit now before I get all gushy... see you tomorrow (afternoon*).
Joyce
 
PS 
* I work at my business 'till 1:00
 
 

bayoub2
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   Posted 10/9/2011 3:57 PM (GMT -6)   
PA
I'm lucky to make it til 9:00 myself. I started getting upat 5:00am because it gave me time to myself, it really is so peaceful then. The birds then start greeting a new day and I love them too.

You have a garden? How lovely! We live on sal***er bayou so all plants are in containers on our deck. Flowers and birds are such pleasures. I saw a turtle sunning himself on a fallen log and we also had about 40 Canadian geese swimming on the bayou today. Nature can always bring a smile, can't it?

Well, hope you have a nice evening, glad you joined us and we'll see you tomorrow.

Maggie

You are still WORKING!!! You are awesome!!

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 10/9/2011 4:24 PM (GMT -6)   
I was rising early due to an achey hip. about 4-5 oclock. We finally bought a new bed. Now I sleep to 9:00 or so. But really do enjoy those early mornings when I can sip on coffee, come on the forum and listen to the day begin. It is so quiet that time of day. I just love it. Kind of like a sunset too.

Good evening to all.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
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   Posted 10/9/2011 7:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Good for you Karen!! I long for those days-lol. My husband has started fishing again so now it's really quiet-LOL!! Have a nice evening.

Maggie

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
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   Posted 10/10/2011 8:08 AM (GMT -6)   
G'morning PA

I thought we lost you and then I remembered that you work until 1.
We all enjoyed talking to you yesterday and hope you come back and chat with us.

I hope you are feeling a little happier this morning. Anyway, I'll be back later-have a nice day

Maggie

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 10/10/2011 8:13 AM (GMT -6)   
My hubby use to fish a lot, but doesn't so much anymore. I love fresh fish. Especially brims. Bluegills... Yum!!! My favorite.

Wishing for you a lovely day.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

PA_grandma
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Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 3667
   Posted 10/10/2011 12:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Good afternoon, all.
Tried to reply early this morning...but must have had a server problem and was not able to connect with any Healing Well forums before work.

Anyway, another day. Mood...more cheery since I met you folks. It's nice to learn about others and their environments. We have eleven wooded/wetland acres so there's a lot of animal activity.

There are fish too, in the creek that runs through...but keep your husbands away. No deer hunting, either :-)

Question: Is it a good idea to start a new topic daily when I sip my early cuppa joe... or stick on this one?

See you later

J.

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
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   Posted 10/10/2011 12:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear J-

we are very glad you are back.Yes, I tried early this am and could not get on til 7.

Yes, I enjoy living in rural area...lived in New York City when I was young and single but always preferred semi-boondocks. I do miss ethnic restaurants and museums. My hubby and I love all the animals too and he will not hunt, just fishing. I don't think Katie and I would speak to him foa month if he brought home Bambi's father-lol!

I am glad you are feeling better. I woke up in a funk, but feel better now.

What kind of business do you have? Do you enjoy it? Does family help? We are very nosy here(maybe I better speak for myself-lol) Anyway, we are here to just gab with you.

Hope you are having pleasant weather and good day

maggie

stillme
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   Posted 10/10/2011 12:30 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello PA Grandma,
Welcome! Sorry it's taken my so long. Haven't been too well these past few days. Fighting through even now. This is an awesome place!

PA_grandma
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Date Joined Nov 2010
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   Posted 10/10/2011 12:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Still, good to 'meet' you. Hope you continue to improve.

Maggie,
We FEED the deer... they come for corn and the crab apples every evening. Yes, Bambi's Mom, and the rest of the herd.

I started my business in 1974... my husband (who was a radio announcer) joined me several years later. Our youngest son and his wife came on board about ten years ago. We've had as many as thirteen employees, but we're down to just 'family' now.

We make 'indoor-outdoor' life size display figures from wood. I'll post our website one of these days and you can see what we do.

Glad your funk has fled. Tough sledding sometimes... the ups and downs. Me, too... comes and goes
~ J
 
 
if you click on 'about Us'... there's a picture of my husband and me.

Post Edited (PA_grandma) : 10/10/2011 11:55:11 AM (GMT-6)


getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
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   Posted 10/10/2011 2:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow Grandma,

That is really cool. I wood burn. I love it. Anything to do with wood. I didn't look at the site, but I looked at your picture. You look as friendly as you are on here. I do plan to go back and look, I wanted to post first.

I just want to say we are all so happy that you have joined us. Reading you and Maggy and others post back and forth warms my heart. And I am serious. It makes me feel so good that you all are enjoying and creating such a wonderful atmosphere here.

Now to look at your site.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 10/10/2011 2:47 PM (GMT -6)   
I looked at your site, awesome. You are very talented. I love to paint too. I paint usually on canvas with acrylics. We had a fire in our work shop this past spring and a lot of my paintings got ruined by soot damage. I do have a few pics of some of my work before we had the fire, one day I will send some to you. I am a surealist. And I use a lot of black. We had a small floral business before I got fibromyalgia. My husband made "lazy cats" and shadow wolves. So I know the work that goes into the painting. The lazy cats weren't nearly as big as yours. And they were work. I really love your stuff.

Hugs, Karen
 
PS  You can continue posting on this post, but if you have another topic, feel free to start a new one, but if it is similar to this one, feel free to continue here.  Does that even make any sense???  I hope so...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 10/10/2011 2:05:42 PM (GMT-6)

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