Karen & Maggie-
I actually asked my psychiatrist if upping the dose of my Pristiq would be beneficial and he advised against it due to the fact that the side effects of the medication could increase. To it give another month and we would reevaluate it to see if other options would be needed. Honestly, I feel like a "Ginny Pig Pill Box"...I've never in my life have taken or trialed so many medications in one year.
Maggie- thank you so much for you empathy but I can tell you FIRST HAND SUCIDE DOESN'T KILL JUST THE INFLICTOR, BUT IT KILLS EVERY ONE AROUND YOU!!
It has changed my life forever, as well as, our friends and family. I have lost all since of confidence for myself, I live with the guilt that he left behind, and the responsibility of molding our daughter and keeping her mind free of any guilt. She keeps her daddy on a "pedestal" only due to the fact that I speak only good things of him, and keep him in active memory. When in actuality, I wish I had one moment in time to tell him how much hell he has put my life through...how forever hurt I will always be, and how dare him leave his family and run from a problem that we could of and WOULD OF WORKED OUT TOGETHER!! It is very selfish but my husband was Iraq Vet that served 18mths and came up with PTSD, not knowing that his symptoms were that bad...because the one's that do commit and succeed suicide, are silent killers. Meaning, they don't leave a paper trail and or any evidence leading up to explaining why she/or he would do such a devastating act...however it is planned but you will find no leads to the plan. I could go on forever.
In regards to the counselor, my daughter and I both received counseling for a year after he passed, she got better, however I became very submissive and dull and discontinued my sessions thinking I could deal with it on my own. I am now at my very bottom with a gorgeous diamond ring on my finger from a man that has chosen me, chosen to love me for every thing I am, love me enough to make me his wife...OMG!!!...and that scares the crap out of me! I constantly compare him to my 1st husband in my head...wishing he was more like him...cause we had such a close connection, he was truly my soul mate...and I have found it to be incredibly hard to cut the strings to my heart for my 1st husband to allow myself to reattach those strings to him. But I am currently seeking a professional counselor again as well as, starting a new beginning in my spiritual life and allowing God to heal me.