Hi, everyone. This may seem like a silly post, but I can't take it anymore and need to vent somewhere. I'm getting so depressed I don't even want to go home. Just pulling up into the driveway, I don't want to get out of my car and go in.
I've been really stressed out these past few months. Just bought my first house last April, moved to a new state last year with new job. Am really, really missing my Mom who lives more than 12 hours away. I'm 29, working full time. On the forums for IBS symptoms... I thought I was handling my stress pretty well - but I guess not!! I'm going nuts.
Anyway, my depression right now is crushing me. I feel trapped and helpless. I woke up Monday morning on my day off for Columbus Day - usually I sleep in on days off - but I was up at 4:30 and I just took a shower and cried in the shower so my boyfriend wouldn't hear me.
When my boyfriend and I moved in together (about a year ago, at our old apartment), we had two cats. They are so great together, never any problems. Now, fast forward, we move into our new house and get a third cat - this one was my boyfriend's cat. He had her for years and years, but we couldn't have three cats at the apartment, so his brother took her. But now we can have her.
It's been a nightmare since then. This third cat had fleas and gave the others fleas. They are little devils!! Even after professional treatment, over $500 for all that and vet visits, they are still in the basement! I'm so fed up, I don't even want to do laundry anymore because I'd have to go down there and get jumped on. My two cats are fine - they let us flea comb them and we haevn'rt found any on them in weeks, but the evil third cat HATES me and won't let me near her - hisses scratches, so we can never flea comb her and so she's still a walking flea bag.
Anyway, I'm crying and yelling at my boyfriend over this, and I keep telling him to get rid of his cat. But then I feel so guilty and tell him, we'll try something else. A new flea brand, whatever. But it's not just the fleas. I HATE this cat - she is so mean, and she poops on the carpet. My bf says it's because she's stressed - the other cats hate her too, and chase her around. The whole house is turning into a dirty cat nightmare because of her pooping on the carpets. No matter how much I clean, it now feel sdirty all the time.
I'm a very anal person, I like things clean, so this whole situation is making me so upset and depressed. I'm taking it out on my bf because I feel trapped, like I can't do anything because it's his cat. Sometimes, I get so upset, I keep thinking how my life used to be when I lived alone.
What do I do? I should mention depression runs in my family, and I have an aunt with bipolar, and another with panic attacks (she never leaves home). I don't think I'm clinically depressed - I hold down a job, I'm studying for a higher education degree, but I feel so angry, upset, depressed, I do'nt even want to be home, all because of a stupid CAT! I feel like I've lost control over my life.
See, silly post, but that makes it harder to bear. My bf says I'm overreacting. HE is the one that picks up the poop and sprays the carpet with Resolve. Now my house smells like chemicals. I just want a nice house. I want to come home after a hard day at work and RELAX - instead I get all upset like a crazy woman and want to just throw that stupid cat out on the street. What can I do?