help, depressed over living situation

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 10/12/2011 3:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, everyone.  This may seem like a silly post, but I can't take it anymore and need to vent somewhere.  I'm getting so depressed I don't even want to go home.  Just pulling up into the driveway, I don't want to get out of my car and go in.
I've been really stressed out these past few months.  Just bought my first house last April, moved to a new state last year with new job.  Am really, really missing my Mom who lives more than 12 hours away.  I'm 29, working full time.  On the forums for IBS symptoms... I thought I was handling my stress pretty well - but I guess not!! I'm going nuts.
Anyway, my depression right now is crushing me.  I feel trapped and helpless.  I woke up Monday morning on my day off for Columbus Day - usually I sleep in on days off - but I was up at 4:30 and I just took a shower and cried in the shower so my boyfriend wouldn't hear me.
When my boyfriend and I moved in together (about a year ago, at our old apartment), we had two cats.  They are so great together, never any problems.  Now, fast forward, we move into our new house and get a third cat - this one was my boyfriend's cat.  He had her for years and years, but we couldn't have three cats at the apartment, so his brother took her.  But now we can have her.
It's been a nightmare since then.  This third cat had fleas and gave the others fleas. They are little devils!! Even after professional treatment, over $500 for all that and vet visits, they are still in the basement!  I'm so fed up, I don't even want to do laundry anymore because I'd have to go down there and get jumped on.  My two cats are fine - they let us flea comb them and we haevn'rt found any on them in weeks, but the evil third cat HATES me and won't let me near her - hisses scratches, so we can never flea comb her and so she's still a walking flea bag.
Anyway, I'm crying and yelling at my boyfriend over this, and I keep telling him to get rid of his cat.  But then I feel so guilty and tell him, we'll try something else.  A new flea brand, whatever.  But it's not just the fleas.  I HATE this cat - she is so mean, and she poops on the carpet.  My bf says it's because she's stressed - the other cats hate her too, and chase her around.  The whole house is turning into a dirty cat nightmare because of her pooping on the carpets.  No matter how much I clean, it now feel sdirty all the time. 
I'm a very anal person, I like things clean, so this whole situation is making me so upset and depressed.  I'm taking it out on my bf because I feel trapped, like I can't do anything because it's his cat.  Sometimes, I get so upset, I keep thinking how my life used to be when I lived alone. 
What do I do?  I should mention depression runs in my family, and I have an aunt with bipolar, and another with panic attacks (she never leaves home).  I don't think I'm clinically depressed - I hold down a job, I'm studying for a higher education degree, but I feel so angry, upset, depressed, I do'nt even want to be home, all because of a stupid CAT!  I feel like I've lost control over my life.
See, silly post, but that makes it harder to bear.  My bf says I'm overreacting.  HE is the one that picks up the poop and sprays the carpet with Resolve.  Now my house smells like chemicals. I just want a nice house.  I want to come home after a hard day at work and RELAX - instead I get all upset like a crazy woman and want to just throw that stupid cat out on the street.  What can I do?

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 10/12/2011 5:16 PM (GMT -6)   
I would think once the cat gets use to the place that things will calm down. Plus the other cats have to learn to accept the new cat. Have faith that this will happen and it most likely will. It just takes a little time. Let your boyfriend continue to clean up the mess. Really this isn't that big of a deal and probably will resolve itself, other than the flea problem. You may have to try something different. It sounds like the cat came to you with them, it really isn't the cat's fault. It is the person who had the cat before you and didn't take care of it. But I am sure you will find a remedy.

It sounds like you are stressed and are letting this get to you. I really think that things will work out. It is just a bump in the road. It feels like a trivial thing is causing you to not want to come home. Are you sure that it is just the cat? Just thinking, could be totally way off base here... Let me know.

I hope that you feel better soon. If you feel depressed, you may want to talk to a doctor or a counselor and start getting better. If you can catch it early, it is easier to deal with. Hopefully just therapy will help you. Waiting only makes it worse.

Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/15/2011 4:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Get some very potent flea bombs (Vet may have some). tak everyone and the cats outside or somewhere for several hours....come home flea be gone!!!!!

If that doesn't work, call a pest co-threy have the heavy artillery.

Do it. For Peace in the Valley


New Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 10/15/2011 11:32 PM (GMT -6)   
personally If i was in your situation, i would want to get that third cat out of there. Maybe it could go back to the brother? 

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 10/16/2011 3:57 AM (GMT -6)   
As far as the flea problem goes what you need to do is treat both the animals and the house at the same time. Just treating one or the other or treating them separately will not do you any good and also you will need to treat 3 or 4 times over the course of about 6-8 weeks in order to break the cycle.

What I suggest you do is round up the stuff you need.

Get a product called Capstar. It is a capsule that will kill all the adult fleas on an animal within 2-4 hours of giving it to them. It is also safe to give everyday.
Get yourself enough foggers to treat the entire house. Generally one can for each room.
Get yourself some Ortho Home Defense Insect Spray.

Leave the house for about 4 hours taking the animals with you. An hour before leaving give each animal a Capstar. Then when you leave set off the Foggers per instructions.
2 days after fogging go through the house with the Home Defense spray and spray the carpets, pet bedding and furniture and give another Capstar treatment.
2 weeks after you fog, do it again and do the Capstar again, and repeat the 2nd day routine.
Then once a week for weeks 3,4,5 spray with the home defense and do a Capstar.
On week 6 do the fogging and Capstar once more.

From then on spray once a month with the Home Defense for the next 4 months and give the Capstars anytime they show signs of getting anymore fleas. After that you can get by with spraying once every 3 months and your home should remain flea free.

I had a MAJOR flea problem in my home and tried everything, and this is what finally worked for me. If you can't get the cats to swallow to capsules you can break them apart and sprinkle them on food. Capstar can be hard to find in stores. A few pet stores carry it, but it is very easy to find online, including eBay.

It doesn't take much of the Ortho Home Defense to do the job when you spray. Just a very light spray on things. It is not strong smelling and is safe. I have been using the same gallon spray container of it for 2 years now. You can find it almost anywhere including WalMart, Home Depot, etc.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
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