My husband is unmedicated bipolar, my daughter is recently diagnosed with adhd and depression(15) and I have been plagued by major depression, ptsd, chronic pain fibro, sleep disorders blah blah blah...
I can't keep up this charade anymore, the loving happy mommy, the polite funny patient or customer, the pretty much functional housewife-these are all roles....my heart is not in it...I make all the right noises, faking it pretty good but I'm a fraud...all my positive regurgitation is an act, maybe I think if I say it, it will happen...but not to me
I know I'm making people sad and God is hurt too but I don't care anymore. I am not doing laundry or sweep or cook or scrub p*** off the toilets. Did God put me here for this? I know all about pulling yourself up(I've done it at least 12 times(battling drugs and alcohol) both of those sound good right now, too bad I don't have any.
My eyes are swollen shut from crying, makes me tired...I'm going to take a nap