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theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/15/2011 2:37 AM (GMT -6)   
in the suns rays i feel the
warmth of the peirceing freezing rain;
pain it stings.............
laughter it brings,
in the maddening winds i scream-
but only silence is muttered.
beautiful betrayel is a truth i've known
and i have felt. scars you deep
and betrayels laughter is of acid rain,
it burns you deep, deeper than the seas
of hells ocean, deeper than the abyss
of the seas mother and deeper
than the fires of hell itself.
in the sun i feel..............
nothing.
 
-jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/15/2011 3:07 AM (GMT -6)   
That was very good but very sad. Alot of what people think and say feels like acid rain, untilthere is nothing left

I'm sorry you have been hurt so bad, wish I could give you a hug and some chicken soup-(I am such a fool dsometimes)

Your poetry is good, do you keep a jounal?

Many good thoughts and parayers come your way
Maggie

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/15/2011 3:43 AM (GMT -6)   
i use to. have bits and peices everywhere. i write better than that...........usually, just the brain is mush. was influenced by some music. more an expression than a peice., thx maggie. jamie
 
a hug and chicken soup sounds mighty healing. thx mate :-)
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/15/2011 4:11 AM (GMT -6)   
I have hit the esc button twice by accident and wiped it out

I love to write too. That and music are my big escapes, but the writing has helped me overcome some bad feelings toward parents...after writing and beinga parent, I understand, don't agree but...they are both dead but hopefully they're eavesdropping-lol

You should try writing more, o man of few words-lol You do have a concise way of getting to the point. Write even if it's garbage, then throw it out..

Gotta go
Maggie

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/15/2011 4:14 AM (GMT -6)   
ok will do. cheers 2 you maggie. :-)
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/15/2011 4:25 AM (GMT -6)   
I keep thinking there is a book in me somewhere, do you feel the same?

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/15/2011 4:42 AM (GMT -6)   
i do, that i do maggie. maybe soon it is time to start thinking about it.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/15/2011 5:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Not everybody goes thru what we go thru (thank God)...they haven't a clue what goes on in our heads-they think we are all crazed axe murderers-lol

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/15/2011 5:14 AM (GMT -6)   
i know maggie, i know. not a (expletive) clue !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good nite my dear friend. time to toss and turn. lol. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/17/2011 3:55 AM (GMT -6)   
beauty of love,
 
together, highest of heavens
 
peace of a doves love,
 
floats to me.........
 
floats with the wings of truth,
 
cry for seasons end,
 
fly together
 
and we sing in unison
 
hand in hand,
 
together again, never apart
 
your soul here, mine never apart.
 
always with me, always with you;
 
for a doves love is calling...........
 
and it calls for you.
 
-jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/17/2011 4:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh God, jamiee, that is beautiful...I'm speechless...you painted a picture with your words..lovely thanks

Maggie

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/17/2011 4:12 AM (GMT -6)   
thank you. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 10/17/2011 6:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Beautiful Jamiee

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/17/2011 9:50 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you stillme.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/18/2011 4:55 AM (GMT -6)   
i am on a massive downer. going to try and sleep on the couch tonight. the bed is just too hard. and my pillows are all squashed. getting some new ones this week. had a look today, just way too expensive, need to look at a few more stores. i am sooo depressed, i just don't care. geez, life just plain sux........am in a dark place, thus i will stop here.

luv 2 you all. jamie.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/18/2011 5:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear friend, well then I'll just sit in that dark place with you, I knoew it like the back of my hand. I'll keep you company, you don't have to talk but we will sit together, ok? You have kept me company there before and that's what friends do.

I pray it is a very short stay, my friend.

Maggie

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/18/2011 4:42 PM (GMT -6)   
thanks.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/18/2011 8:03 PM (GMT -6)   
It's pretty dark in here my friend-let's go and try to find a way out,ok?

Much affection and concern
Maggie

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/18/2011 8:27 PM (GMT -6)   
i walked the dog, that was a good start. playing upbeat music too. yeah the way out is close. still am an expletive wreck my friend. but i am trying. thx 4 being there. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Deacon Blues
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 304
   Posted 10/18/2011 9:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Hang in there Jamie! That wretched place must release you soon! dB

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/18/2011 10:26 PM (GMT -6)   
yes it must, it has to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cry cry cry cry cry cry   jamie.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/19/2011 5:24 AM (GMT -6)   
i am fighting this. it has a pretty strong grip on me, still does but not as bad. it is a mixed emotion experience i am feeling. it is has been dark, i can see the light, it calls.........geez it calls. i hope you understand what i mean. i feel a nothingness about me at the moment, i feel, i don't know what i feel- definately wrecked, lost, pain, anger. i feel depleted and so tired. life is sucking life out of me. what do i do? i have ran out of options.........am running out of hope. i am sick of this earth. just want to be with my georgia. jamie.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/19/2011 5:50 AM (GMT -6)   
I tol my doc the other day"Why would God just leave me here like this? What's the freakin' point? To use up more bed space?

But, jamiee, He does leave us here for a purpose as yet unrevealed. I certainly hope it brings some peace. You have so much goodness to give-I hoep you get better cause I think you can help more people than you are now. You have helped me, I know Ic an count on you to be there and that means a;ot

Stay strong-remember you're not alone in that place

Hugs
Maggie

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 10/19/2011 6:24 AM (GMT -6)   
hugs back, amd thx maggie. can't sleep. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/19/2011 6:29 AM (GMT -6)   
ain't it a b****? The one thing we seek we are denied-rather a cruel joke. KK stayed home sick yesterday and this am throat is swollen shut (strep?) will have to go see doc -poor baby

Maggie
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