trying to learn more about depression

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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/17/2011 11:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi all. I know this isn't a marriage solving forum but just curious if my marriage is about to end because of depression. My wife and I have been together nine years. We decided to start a family after we married. This was almost six years ago. The first pregnancy ended with a miscarriage. We tried again and was successful with a baby girl. about five months went by and she wanted to have another child. I talked about and decided to to try it. This one was ended in a miscarriage. I know she was so devastated by the miscarriages. Who wouldnt be. We waited a couple years and tried again. This one was successful. Then three months later to our surprise she was pregnant. This one was a success. This one was born last Dec. Then six weeks ah I found texts on her phone from a coworker. I won't get into that really. But since she has moved out. She has been doing stuff that she normally wouldn't do. She seems to get iritated easily by close family and me. Which we have always gotten along great. She is acting like a teenager. Buying new clothes. Getting new piercings. She goes to the casino which is really weird. She seems to have done a 180 in her personality. She has always had low self esteem. She is hanging out with people she normally would talk bad about. I've never seen her break down and cry or anything. There were times that she didn't really want to do mucj.My mom talked to her and she said she felt worthless and felt like she was a nobody. I look back and remember a few times that she did look pretty down. I would ask if she was ok and she said yeah. I know that the affair has some to do with it but my biggest question is if she is depressed is she trying to make herself happy with this new life. Do depressed people try to make themselves happy and will there come a time when everything just crashes down. Also she told me that the only time she is depressed is around me. Ouch. But any info would be great. If u have any questions please ask. I have done some research and she has some of the symptoms but just not sure. Thanks everyone.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 10/17/2011 12:32 PM (GMT -6)   
I don['t know if she is trying to find herself or is under bad influence with the wrong croud. Some people like piercings and tattoos. She may have just changed her interests. Did you say she moved out? Maybe she is just feeling her youth again. It is hard to say, as I don't know her. I do hope that things work out for you. Remember this is her problem, not yours. Though I am sure you want to be there if things do come crashing down. How old is she???

Keep posting, and welcome to the forum.. Hopefully somebody will give you some insight. It is a hard call. Being you posted, you sound a little depressed too. Have you thought about counseling for this?

Best wishes to you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 10/17/2011 1:15 PM (GMT -6)   
We aren't doctors, Lastrayden, so we are not qualified to offer a diagnosis, but I think it's safe to say that it sounds as if it might be one of several things:

1. bipolar illness-in that illness hypomania is the result of a reaction to depression. She would need to talk to a psychiatrist and get on proper
medications if that's it.

2. postpartum depression--your wife is reacting with depression following the
birth of a child. Her physician could help with that.

3. A major depression disorder-again, she would need to talk to a psychiatrist.

Yes, depressed people try to self-medicate at times to relieve the pain of depression. Some of them drink alcohol excessively; others will have their own way of relieving depression; that varies from one person to another. The real point is that your wife is ill and needs help, I think. Please help her to get it.

My best wishes to you as you manage this heavy load.

It's Genetic
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