Nervous about meeting an "online potential friend"

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 10/17/2011 2:28 PM (GMT -6)   
So, next weekend I'm supposed to meet an online potential friend, somewhere...i'm supposed to pick the place but i have no idea..  I posted an ad for a platonic friend and he replied.  He's much younger than me.  My problem is what am i going to talk about.  I hate being all nervous about talking to people.  Yes, I need a friend, but i'm not good at making conversation and have pretty low self esteem as well as depression which makes it even worse.  I take an AD which does helps.  So i feel like a complete hypocrite wanting to be a friend to someone, and asking someone to be my friend--making them believe i know what i'm doing. My hands are getting clammy just thinking about it.  I did tell him that he was too young for me, but he's very persistant sending very nice emails.   Any advice would be appreciated.   M

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 10/17/2011 2:32 PM (GMT -6)   
I'd keep it a friendship on the internet. You know absolutely nothing
about this person's background, what he'll be like once you meet him; it's just very risky behavior, in my view.

I'd forget it altogether.

Sorry to be negative, but these things can be really dangerous. The internet is not a safe place, tired 50.

Take care of yourself first.


Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 10/18/2011 3:17:58 AM (GMT-6)

Lanie G
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 6368
   Posted 10/17/2011 3:02 PM (GMT -6)   
tired50, if you don't mind my chiming in here after I saw your post....  IF you are really going to meet this person, then choose a public place like a food court in a mall or a Starbucks, any place where you are not alone.  Do not give him your personal information, not your full name, or address, phone number or where you work.  Also, if you do meet him, do not get into your car right after you say goodbye, but take a walk into a nearby store or down the street.  This is all just so there's less possibility of being followed.  I think we need to be very careful these days.  Too many strange stories come up.  Too many naive people who trust a stranger who is being kind and helpful.  Ask yourself 'why' this younger person wants to have you as a friend.  He may see you as vulnerable.  (And I may be wrong about his motives but it's better to be cautious.)  Otherwise, try joining different kinds of groups to meet people on different territory: volunteer at a humane society, hospital, school, church, library, ... some kind of organization in your area.  Sign up for a class, any kind of class.  There are lots of ways to meet other people.  And, of course, there are the nice folks here at HealingWell.  :-)

diabetes moderator
diabetes type 2 controlled so far by diet and exercise
very low carb way of eating

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 10/17/2011 4:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Tired50,

I tend to agree with the others, I would think twice about actually meeting this person. Be safe... There are other ways to make friends, other than the internet. People that enjoying the same things as you. Go slowly, they need to earn trust before you let your guard down. Be careful...

Have you thought about counseling to learn not to feel so lonely? I would think that would be the place to start. We make friends (good friends) throughout life. And you never know where or when you are going to find these friends. I have very few good friends, and I consider myself fortunate to have them.

I would be very cautios with this meeting. Listen to the others. Make sure you aren't caught in a vulnerable situation. If I were you, I wouldn't meet this person. But it is totally up to you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 10/17/2011 5:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I've decided not to meet him for all the reasons you've mentioned. Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your input.
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