Too much stress and pain, too few coping resources

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Alaskah
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 10/20/2011 6:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Depression is not something new for me. I've been dealing with it for roughly 10 years or more. Anxiety has also been a big problem. I was just diagnosed with Chronic Lyme and Mycoplasma Pneumonia and will be starting treatments for those. Depression and anxiety are likely caused by these which would explain why I never responded to antidepressants. Not to mention I have scoliosis, and the Lyme causes a lot of joint pain, chest pain, and breathing problems. I don't think I've gone a day without pain since I was about 6 (had a surgery when I was 7 and had some problems from that, as well). Whenever my stress levels increase, the pain increases.

So I feel like I've hit rock-bottom. I have a BA in psychology and the last 2 years of college were the ONLY times where I felt reasonably well...even happy, despite my health problems. I graduate a year ago and my life has spiraled downward since. My goal was to go to graduate school, but I couldn't afford to apply so I decided to work for a bit. A BA in psych doesn't really teach you to do a whole lot, so I ended up as a retail manager. I get paid dirt. I'm treated like dirt. I hate it, and all I can think about is going back to school. I really want to pursue something marketing/consumer behavior. It is do-able eventually, but for right now I have no motivation to study for the GMAT, or get a second job to make more money, etc. I hate living at home as well. I don't get along well with my parents and they add a whole lot of unnecessary stress, especially about my useless degree and college loans that I am struggling to pay.

I have virtually no coping resources. I have not a single friend at all. The last time I hung out with someone other than a guy I was dating was about 3 years ago. I seriously lack social skills. It's not that I don't know what to say or do, it's just that I feel awkward doing it or I think of the right things after the moment passed, or I have anxiety and well, I'm just pathetic. I can only interact well on a professional level with my associates, but that doesn't lead to friendship.

I'm not dating anyone currently, and due to my depression and anxiety and total lack of social skills the guys I dated weren't the best...just the ones who were bold enough to approach me and win me over, but not necessarily compatible or very nice.

Now I met a guy who I *really* like a lot...at work, of course, and being that I'm in a management role nothing can happen. I have strong reason to believe he likes me as well, but again, I will likely never know. It is really frustrating since that's about the only good feeling I have in my life right now.

So I felt like getting that off of my chest. Not really sure what kind of response I'm looking for, it just felt good to get some of those thoughts out of my head and written down.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 10/20/2011 7:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Alaskah,

Welcome to the depression forum. Try really hard not to get attracted to the guy at work. That could end up costing you your job.

The best thing that I can suggest is counseling. Talk to a professional about coping skills. Learning to make friends. Learning to be a friend. It isn't hard. You just got to meet the right people. People with similar interests as you. Maybe start going to places where you can meet people. Such as a coffee shop or a book store. What are your interests? Find people with the same interest as you.

You will get there. But I think you need direction. And I think counseling is the route to take.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Alaskah
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 10/20/2011 7:18 PM (GMT -6)   
I honestly wouldn't mind losing the job I have in order to have a real relationship...it isn't a company or a career path I want to progress with, and it barely pays the bills. Just something to get me by until I figure out what else to do with my life. But no, I would never actually try pursuing the guy anyway while working with him. Even though I'm certain there's something there, it would be too awkward if I were wrong. And it's not a matter of just physical attraction. I worked with him closely for a while and there is a fair amount of admiration and compatibility there as well. But again, I will likely never know. I guess it's just nice knowing that perhaps a decent, nice guy likes me for once as opposed to a shallow, manipulative one.

I have no means for counseling. No money, very little time with an ever-changing retail schedule. The area I live in doesn't offer much with public/cheap support. The main problem is that my illness makes it difficult to find the energy to go out and do things because I'm using every bit of energy I have to get through the work day. The only option I've considered is taking a class or two at a local college since that's the only thing that really made me happy...I need intellectual stimulation and it would give me a chance to interact with people without the management/employee separation. But of course, that costs money too.

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 10/20/2011 8:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Where there's a will there's a way, Alaskah. Check into some things
with social services in the area where you live; see what's out there
in the way of jobs, opportunities at the college, etc. Who knows?
Something may turn up if you do enough investigating.

Take care and try for the courses in college if a job doesn't appear.

You deserve to be happy in life; always remember that and strive for it.

I.G.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/21/2011 6:11 AM (GMT -6)   
College loans for one, and two, I live in the poorest state and we even have free medical and mental health care. I saw a shrink and counselor and never paid a penny. Even scripts were free. I had to go out and find these things. God helps those who help themselves. Good luck take care

Maggie
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