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UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4488
   Posted 10/21/2011 7:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi All,

Just wanted to know if anyone had any advice on how to get over or forget something that happened in the past.

I have an abortion over a year and I can't get over it. I regret it everyday and I just don't understand what happened. Everything happened soo quickly. I try to forget it and take my mind off it but it just comes back. Sometimes I remember it like yesterday. It disrupts my daily life. I just can't seem to focus. Since it happen, I have just been living for living's sake. I just feel hopeless and I can't move forward. I'm just stuck in the since place and it over a year.

Any advice please?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42498
   Posted 10/21/2011 7:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi ANONYMOUS,

Abortions are a hard thing to deal with for most. Have you thought about talking to a counselor to help you put this behind you? I highly recommend this. You are going through grief and there is no time limit on that. Know that many women do have them for one reason or another. I don't particularly agree with them, but I know people have their reasons for doing so. Please don't beat yourself up for it. Forgive yourself and move on. Seek counseling. It will help you to deal and cope with the decision that you made. You aren't a bad person for doing this. You had your reasons. Please get help now before it takes over your life.

Best wishes

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/21/2011 8:21 AM (GMT -6)   
I had one over 40 years ago, very dirty little secret back then, nice girls didn't do that so I had a ton of guilt about it. I mourned for a long time, and I think you willhave to go thru stages of grief: denial, anger bargaining and acceptance. Talking to a counselor is a reeeaallly good idea. You did what was best for you at that time dear, forgive yourself, God already has.....

I now have the most awesome 15 yearold daughter, when I was married, got partying out of my system, emotionally stable. You need to give your child the very best odds of having a good life. Back then, you didnoy probably have those resources..

You have been forgiven, now go talk to someon who can make you forgive yourself.

Maggie

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20227
   Posted 10/22/2011 1:44 AM (GMT -6)   
with much healing compassion i send. jamie.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

misterkatamari
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 374
   Posted 10/22/2011 6:45 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Maggie above. What you're feeling is very common, and you're not alone in it. I really encourage you to reach out to a counselor and therapist and talk about how you're feeling.
--Patrick, aka Misterkatamari

I'm active on several boards. Main issues are: Chronic Pain due to Scoliosis & 2 Herniated Discs, possible DDD and arthritic facet joints. Also active in the Depression/Anxiety boards. Meds include: Prozac 40mg, Xanax .5 mg, Tramadol 50mg

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” - Joseph Campbell

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4488
   Posted 10/23/2011 8:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the support and advice everyone.

I'm in the process of seeking a counselor/therapist who can help me. I just can't seem to move forward and it more than a year. I put my studies on hold. I realize that I use work as an excuse for most thing and hide behind my pc doing stuff for work during non-working hours & days or just sleeping.

Abortion is something I never believed in and still don't believe it in but yet I had one although I didn't want to. How can someone do something they are against?

Well, I'll let you all know the outcome and thanks again for the support.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 10/23/2011 8:08 PM (GMT -6)   
I personally no longer think abortion is morally viable (and the death penalty) because of deepened faith. But I absolutely support every woman's right to the choice. What she does is between her and God...it is nobody else's business

I hope you get relief soon
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder
PTSD
Chronic Pain
Fibromyalgia
Buritis, sciatica, arthritis
L 3/4 anf 4/5 are not there any more-advanced degenerative disc disease
welbutrin HBP meds abilify seroquel hydrocodone flexeril klonopin magnesium
Fibromyalgia
Chronic pain

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 10/23/2011 9:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Quite honestly no one can ever say what they will or will not do with 100% certainty until they are in that situation. A person can have a very deep conviction and truly believe they are not capable of something or are totally against something but find themselves doing the opposite of what they believe when faced with it.

This really does not mean that person is weak, lacks character, resolve, faith, etc. All it means is that the reality of the situation forced a decision that you did not wish or maybe was not truly prepared to make.

It is good that you are seeking professional help in dealing with the consequences of your decision. Let the process work and I fully believe that in time you will be fine and able to handle what has happened.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4488
   Posted 10/23/2011 9:39 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Maggie and Jim

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4488
   Posted 11/18/2011 12:33 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Everyone,

Just letting you know that I started therapy. So far, it's going good and I think it's helping :)

Thank you for all your support and guidance.

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4488
   Posted 11/18/2011 12:56 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Everyone,

Just letting you know that I started therapy. So far, it's going good and I think it's helping :)

Thank you for all your support and guidance.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42498
   Posted 11/18/2011 1:02 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

I am glad to know that the counseling is helping. Keep us posted as to how you are doing. I am glad that you checked in.

Take care, I hope that you are having a good day.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/18/2011 1:44 PM (GMT -6)   
rolleyes   smhair shocked going into hospital like this
 
coming out like this tongue turn scool smilewinkgrin
we are leaving in an hour and I am gonna cry over my girl, but I owe it to her to be the best durn mama there is and be a good role modelof facing down our depression.
 
Thanks for all the support-I'd better be home for Turkey Day-will let you know when I hit my roost
 
take good care of each other
 
Love ya
Maggie
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