I think it's safe to say that most os us have lost someone that we really cared about and loved. Everyone's experience is different. Case in point. My X husband and I split over 25 yrs ago. It was over something stupid. We had a family vacation planned and my mom asked us to take my baby sister and a friend of her's. Even though they have their own cottage, my X was very upset as he was looking forward to this trip and bringing us closer together. While on this vacation, I left him a few times to do some things with my sister and my girls, then ages 7 and 9. He drank a lot and needless to say, he beat me like he often did when he was drunk. Then he kicked me whe I was down, all in front of my girls. That still is in their head, at ages 32 and 34. It was a bad break-up as all he wanted to do was "scare me" into being a better wife or I should say lover. It is very hard to physically love someone that is drunk It is rather disgusting. Hence, a divorce and a mess. I have been remarried for 23 yrs now and when he learned I was dating, he came to my apartment, wrecked it and beat me one final time. Then my now husband threatened to kill him if he layed another hand on me. He listened. What can I say. It wasn't pretty. If it was a stronger relationship. I think it could have been fixed. My girls still resent us for that. That's the part that hurts the most.
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.