I don't know why i am writing today...I am in alot of pain and sooo tired...I don't care about anything anybody...the shrink saw right thru my mask on Monday. Sheis my dtr's psychiatrist but after Katie left the room...she asked me point blank "Do you want to go to the hospital?" and the tears started flowing....it is safe there, peopel don't have all these expectations for you, you're not worrying how are ya gonna get dressed and drive to store for a loaf of bread....life out here is overwhelming and even if both psychiatrists I have seen in last 2 weeks, my family , as usual, expects the houuse to be clean, laundry done toilets scrubbed groceries etc etc...I don't look sick (just like fibro)if I had some terminal illness, they'd be falling all over thrmselves...well maybe not...Alot of people feel fibro and depression that somehow we brought this upon ourselves, we just don't try hard enough.
I lost my pain doc in March and have had virtually no pain meds since then (my disability is for chronic pain) I finally found one and see him 11/28-first open appt.
Hubby doesn't wanrt to know about pain or lack of sleep, his is always worse..so I cry in private, in the dark, in my car and I think well, Lord, you've tested me before mightily, but 6 years of this garbage is getting old. I have bad thoughts everyday, but would never follow thru b/c of my daughter
I feel like when I'lying in bed, I'm waiting, waiting....waiting for what? for someon to wave a magic wand and cure me, for a miracle pill...I just don't how much longer I can wait...everything sux today. Virus on computer to boot-haha
I'm seriously thinking of going into the hospital and getting 2nd set of ects-what do you do when you've done everything else
Thank you to all my friends here for all yourr comfort