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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 10/28/2011 10:20 PM (GMT -6)   
  • I happen to come across this site by chance, and am so glad I did. My life is a bit of a mess at the moment I recognise it but am trying to find the want and how to move forward.
  • First though I should tell you a bit about myself....I suffer severe depression and severe anxiety and panic attacks.
  • These started when I was 18 after having a premature baby....I literally thought I was mad and dying, it took many years of medication xanax aropax rivotril endep, therapy and a fight to want to live.
  • Amoungst this time but I lived from age 16 with a man who mentally abused me. Literally controlling every aspect of my life.
  • After 25yrs and four children I could not take any more and only had one child left at home and I was simply going to go to hospital to later return or leave.....I left with my daughter and went into hiding.
  • I thought once I left my life was going to not be easy but slowly get very wrong I was.
  • The anxiety was so overpowering I could not go outside.....depression so deep I could not move. No body knew where I was so had no support.....apart from my beautiful daughter who luckily is home schooled.
  • In the ten months since I cannot say it has got any better....Iv'e been classed as severly traumatised and tried many meds that dont agree with me. I had to come off endep as gave me cardia arythmia.
  • freedom for a person who had none has brought new anxiety and depression to point of silence.....I cannot mix with people as this distresses me, I cannot eat and now have to go to eating disorder unit as have lost 30kgs...Im confused alone and contantly just want to run.
  • I no longer have my daughter with me as I just got to sick and she is now with siblings.
  • My family is torn apart and for some kind of sanity have had to walk away from them all as they just make me worse.
  • So I hope to be able to talk on here and not feel so desperately alone and afraid.

Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 10/28/2011 10:31 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm glad you found this forum. I cannot imagine what you have been through. Do you see a counselor? Or is one on one contact like that too much for you? I really think cognitive-behavioral therapy would help you. It teaches you to take baby steps toward changing your thinking processes and your behavioral habits. I think once you can make some progress in this you will be better able to reach out and build some new, healthy relationships. But it will take time and you have to believe you can do it. You can!

"Life's journey is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights,
but you can make the whole trip that way."

Chronic Lyme, Depression, Anxiety, 12+ Years

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 10/28/2011 10:40 PM (GMT -6)   
welcome to the forum. we are here for you. with much healing compassion to you~ jamie



Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 10/28/2011 10:49 PM (GMT -6)   
I would say to seek out help, counseling, sometimes you might have to find the correct doctor that
fits for you, but once done that can be very helpful. It sounds more like post traumatic stress
disorder (PTSD) and it can be hard to get over on your own so seek out help...
others will be by with better be patient...We do care so keep us posted as to how things go,
Also they have many newer medicines that hopefully you can find one that works for
you, but sure worth giving a try.
And you are not alone, we are like a family here, so welcome, but sure wish it was under better
I hope that you can work things out with your children, and make that a goal to achieve, after you get yourself
some help...You are important and have self worth, always remember that.
well wishes
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...

New Member

Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 10/28/2011 10:52 PM (GMT -6)   
I am under a team, and have counselling, but I have to make myself go. Agrophobia is becoming more apparent. Will be starting new medication next week as they say I need it in order to start process as brain is just overwhelmed and overloaded. 25yrs of undoing damage.....I know it is going to be a long hard road. But as long as I can talk to others who understand I know it will help. Thankyou for the welcome

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/29/2011 12:03 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi! I know you are going through a lot. Just know we are all here for you. I find that posting here and reading all the posts really help me a lot :)
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