In desperate need of help.....

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J_Auburn
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/1/2011 2:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone,

I'm not good at talking about my problems, but I don't know where else to turn.

I recently graduated from college with a degree in engineering. My grades are not the best but I think they are okay (GPA 3.2). I've been unemployed 8 of the 12 months in the last year. For a few months, I worked at a start-up firm that laid me off. I've only had 3 interviews in the last year. I recently had someone (a distinguished person in my field) look at my resume and basically tell me it sucked. I've lost all confidence and second guess myself with everything. I don't even know what I want to do for a living anymore. I was so certain when I graduated...

I'm get intimidated very easily and I tend to shy away from talking to people. My social skills have gone down the drain and I've gotten to the point where I feel awkward when making small talk with anyone new including potential dates. This might sound horrible but I don't even care to make small talk with people because that's the last thing I'm worried about.

I feel useless, hopeless, and tired of getting up in the morning to a day of nothing. I don't wanna live anymore. I feel like everyone around me is living in the moment while I am waiting for my life to start.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 11/1/2011 3:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi J_Auburn,

Welcome to the depression forum. I think you did very good with your introduction, but it does make it easier when you are anonymous.

All you have to do is live in the moment. Take life as it comes and go with the flow of things. You might have to consider taking a lesser job until you find one that is right for you. Jobs are scarce these days and we have to take what we can get at the time. So think about other jobs that you can do as apposed to what you studied for. Your job will come along, but it may take time. You have to start somewhere though.

I went though a long period of time where I could of cared less about being around people. It was so much disappointment and drama at times. So I was pretty much a recluse and didn't mind a bit. I like people now though and even have a couple of good friends. I have made many friends on the forum that I talk to through email. So don't think of yourself as strange or anything like that. You just aren't a people person right now and that is okay.

I would suggest counseling for you though as a way to get centered. They will teach you how to live in the now, it is a lot easier than you think it is. You will learn to cope with life and with people, and they will probably even help you to finding a job.

Depression stinks. And it sounds like you may have some of the symptoms and I think you would be happier if you were proactive and either talked to your doctor or a counselor.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 11/1/2011 3:27 PM (GMT -6)   
I would say you have a lot of options and giving up is not one...
Maybe get a part time job for now and serious think about getting grants to get a
Master's Degree, it would do you better and get you a better step up...
Maybe try for a work study program from the College you graduated from
or seek out their job hunting programs a lot of Colleges offer up job hunting
and Resume help...look into that....
Keep on pushing even if they laugh at your Resume, give them and show you
got what it takes....
and seek out counseling, many well wishes and keep us posted on how things go
as we do care....
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******

J_Auburn
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/1/2011 3:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for responding.

I want to socialize with people, have fun, and just live.. I recently met someone but the thought of even attempting to date is scary to me. I picture myself on this date with nothing to say and awkward silence...

I have considered going back to school but because of my bills, I am not able to do that. Also, I'm not sure what I would go back to school for even if I went.

I have wanted to go to counseling for years now, but I can't afford it. Most of them are very expensive and I can't pay out up to $100 a session.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 11/1/2011 6:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Try these sites and see if they help you.
 
 
 
These are free sites that many members have found help with.  Look for a mental health facility that works on a sliding scale.  That means they charge you by how much money that you make.  There are programs through the state that might help you too.  But you have to be proactive about it and look for the help.  If you need medications there are ways to get them too through your doctor and programs that the companies offer.
 
I hope that this helps some.
 
Hugs, Karen
 
PS getting a good self help book would be a good idea.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/2/2011 6:39 AM (GMT -6)   
welcome to the forum-this is a good place for support and advice..

I'm sorry you are hurting right now. My first year out of college was a little down for me too...had to take a job out of my field to pay bills, so consider that. Eventuall I kep looking and got a MUCH better job...you start feeling a little better about yourself, the rest falls into place.

Good luck keep posting
Magie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds abilify seroquel hydrocodone flexeril klonopin magnesium

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 11/2/2011 2:23 PM (GMT -6)   
In addition to looking into local mental health centers for counseling look to see if there are any support groups/clubs in your area that work on developing social skills, confidence, etc. There are plenty of people who are shy, lack confidence, etc. You can also go to your local library and look for books that deal with these issues which can provide you with ideas and/or skill drills to help you develop your skills.

As far as your resume goes, you really might want to consult with a professional resume writer. With the unemployment situation the way it is currently it may very well be worth spending a little money to have one professionally done so it will stand out. Many times it comes down to more presentation than substance where resume's are concerned.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 11/2/2011 2:25 PM (GMT -6)   
BTW: Many areas have job fairs, job coaching seminars, etc, often times free of charge. Look and attend some. You never know what you might learn or come up with.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.

heartbroken<//3
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/3/2011 8:25 PM (GMT -6)   
i feel like you arent completely opening yourself up to people. if you would just be open to everyone and be yourself you would find it so much easier and more exciting to have conversations with people. it will help you really realize that your not the only one. and it will also help you realize how much in common you have with people that you never thought you would. its pretty crazy what you might learn from other people. you also need to take more risks, dont be scared to go on dates or talk to people, just do it and see how things work. you never know what could happen, you might find someone you really like....or make a new friend. but you wont know until you take a couple risks. there might be a few out there that you know, arent what your looking for, but thats all part of it. you cant expect to get along with everyone, and like everyone. you just cant. i wish you good luck. be yourself, open up...thats all there is to it! :)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 11/3/2011 8:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Oneshot,

Welcome to the forum. I think you are right. You have to get out there to find anything out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Keep posting.

Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

No Worries!
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 225
   Posted 11/4/2011 10:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Greetings J_Auburn!

Just look at how many people you just met right here! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! We all have a story to tell and since you just graduated from College, I'm assuming you are extremely young and so you have MANY, MANY more stories to create as you find your way through life.

It troubles me why this person who you admired in your chosen career field critized your resume, but didn't offer any constructive criticism? What an *ss! What did you major in? What hobbies or interests do you have? Is your hair color really auburn? Hahaha!

After working for about 31 years I was recently fired from my job due to a work related accident! Yeah, bummer... The "accident" was actually on purpose, which makes it sting more. A co-worker crashed into me on purpose to win a freaking game we were playing in a training exercise. I lost not only my job, but my entire career because this reckless co-worker wanted to win a game!

What do you think my job was? Let me hear from everyone... What are the top three guesses? Hahaha, why not play another game, I promise no one will get hurt. If someone guesses right I'll tell the entire story.

I have been out of work since October of 2010 and was "terminated" in June of this year. I stay at home alone during the week, besides going to a list of doctors, physical therapy, etc. The pharmacy is like my second home! I am suffering from depression, but since I haven't gone to see a "specialist" I can't tell you to go. I have given it much thought, but I'm not there yet. I have a lot on my plate, but I seldom ever share my problems with family and friends. I've always been their rock, the go-to person and I already know I'm a horrible friend for not allowing them to return the favor. One thing I did learn from this was that I don't have many "friends" who I trust. Only one friend has remained in constant contact with me throughout this ordeal. Sometimes one friend is all you need, right?

Sorry, this should be about you and not me....oh wait, it is...in my weird way I am letting you know I'm where you are now... This site is awesome too! I can say what I need to say and I can be heard and not judged. Advice is put out there and not forced upon you.

I don't know what state you live in, but if you do a web search for example "www.211ny.org" for new York state or 211nj.org, etc. you will find a website that offers you assistance...

What is 2-1-1?

2-1-1 is an easy-to-remember number to call when you need help or access to human services. Like 9-1-1 for emergencies, 2-1-1 provides direct, personal and professional assistance for human services. Help is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, in multiple languages (including Spanish).

J_ ask them where to go for free resume assistance, free counseling, etc...

You are in my thoughts and I wish you the best of luck! I look forward to your reply and if you want to, feel free to email me directly. Lord knows I have plenty of time on my hands and since I also suffer from insomnia I will certainly respond to your post or emails.

No Worries and lots of smiles!

Charles
Say what you mean and do what you say. Integrity and Pride are never taken away... They are given away. Stay true to yourself and embrace Karma!

freedom4life
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 11/5/2011 1:24 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, just think of this as a stepping stone in your life a transition. It can be overwhelming, depressing but its a process. Sometimes when we least expect it we doubt ourselves and our ability to achieve find and socialise. Just remember you are not alone especially here. We are all going or been through. I feel the same at the moment, but now I'm talking to you, you know I feel just the same....we will get better, I have been here before with this feeling and know it will not last forever. I am in Australia so could recommend where to go for therapy here but do not know where you are located. Just look at what you have achieved, you graduated have degree, be proud. Little steps at a time it will all fall into place you will see. Talk with a close friend someone who knows you and can help with socialising and just be there for you.
freedom4life

No Worries!
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2011
Total Posts : 225
   Posted 11/5/2011 2:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow! Insomnia sucks, hahaha! I shouldn't be blogging while sleep deprived, just like no one should be driving drunk or under the influences of alcohol or drugs (legal and illegal).

My apologies everyone!

I do want you to check out the 2-1-1 resource and hope the words spreads to others in need of the services and referrals that 2-1-1 offers for FREE!

Still little sleep, but I didn't write a book this time and it's not so manic in nature...

Have a wonderful weekend!

Charles
Say what you mean and do what you say. Integrity and Pride are never taken away... They are given away. Stay true to yourself and embrace Karma!

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/5/2011 4:46 PM (GMT -6)   
What are you apologizing for Charles? I think you're hilarious-really!! Like you said, we can really be ourselves here and you are all still my support, my friends...lots of us isolate...I think my husband is jealous of this site-lol!!

Keep posting J and Charles, you are both a great addition to HW family (wow-that is cheesy)

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds abilify seroquel hydrocodone flexeril klonopin magnesium
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