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manyembers
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Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 11/3/2011 12:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Maggie, Karen,

I am in the new home, the new incomplete home. The challenges persist but we are not being passive in addressing them. Feel like crying under my blankets a fair bit, but then face another challenge and feel better. Got the rental mostly cleaned today. Hubby is more his nice self after having a breather from things.

Hope things get better. This has been a huge ordeal. If anyone is thinking of building a home, my advice is don't do it unless you have no other option. The stress is beyond, and the risks are too. At least we are still in tact.

Will be busy cleaning the house now that the rental is finally cleaned.

take care, embers

getting by
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   Posted 11/3/2011 5:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Embers,

I am so happy that you are in the new house. Even though things are still a bit rough. I am happy hubby got some rest from things and is nicer now. I honestly think that things are going to be better now that you have moved. You will both be somewhat more relaxed and I think that is going to help things. Though you still face challenges, at least you are in the house that you wanted. Take a look around and see what is now yours. It is a huge accomplishment.

I wish you a good day and a very good weekend. I do know you like your weekends. Enjoy...

Take care Embers, keep posting. I think Maggie has her sister visiting, so she may not be on the internet as much right now.

Hugs to you, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
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   Posted 11/4/2011 4:09 AM (GMT -6)   
hang in there embers. luv 2 ya. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 11/4/2011 8:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi you two! Thanks for dropping by. It is Friday night and the week feels like one long day blurred together with naps inbetween. Wow. I am done my cleaning at the rental, and today we managed to get my desk and the couch set up in the living room, free of boxes.

Today was the first day it seemed real, or the first day I kind of actually noticed that we are here in a home of our own...with mainfloor laundry! It feels comforting. Hard to believe we made it...2 plus years later.

We had our first real snow of the season today too. And today was the first day we could run the furnace. So just in time. It is nice to feel 'home' with it being cold and white outside.

Hope you both are having a good week-end.

blessings, embers

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/4/2011 9:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Sound of like it is just sinking in..."home"... Your home... you're home............ I am so happy for you.

And yes. convenient mainfloor laundry. Can't beat that... NOt with a stick... lol... As you know I go to the laundromat. Got to do that soon again.

It was nice here today. Sunny and not too cold, but sweater cold. I walked Jasmine in the sunshine. We both loved it.

Well, I am heading for bed. So this wont be a long post. Got to get my good nightts sleep if I can. Since this morning I was woke up for snoring. I was on my back instead of on my side. Oh well... I didn't hear anything...........lol...

Have a good night Embers...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 11/4/2011 9:21 PM (GMT -6)   
for embers  yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well done, am really happy 4 ya.
 
karen, good-night. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/4/2011 9:32 PM (GMT -6)   
HIIIII EMBERS!!!!

Congrats on the house!!! I agree, I would not do it again, but you will start to know every nook and cranny and it will become home.

Thanks Karen for mentioning my company...I will be back tomorrow, hope to talk with you embers and all my friends then...it's funny embers I was just wondering how you were doing today and here you are

Good to hear drom all of you

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 11/4/2011 11:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Jamie for the nice encouragement! When it is challenge after challenge we don't always realize we are doing well because we just keep bumping into the mountains and feeling our human limitations. It helps when someone else can say "well done." Like the smiley guys!

Maggie! Hey, good to see you. I hope you are having a good visit with your sister. I have one sister. I havn't seen my family since moving almost five years ago. My sister is a cool person but really messed up. Has a history of alcohol addiction and a lot of drama in her life. I love her, but couldn't really manage an ongoing relationship with her because of all that. I hope you and your sister have a good relationship.

Oh, talk about knowing every nook and cranny...we have been so involved in the building process...we know quite a few of them already. Quite well ..lol! It is so crazy all the things you don't know and you learn as you go.

The piano we bought is a bit big for our small livingroom, and as it turns out needing more repair work than hubby thought. So we are thinking of trying to trade it in as a deposit for a newer one after all. Bummer it isn't looking like it will work. The key action is nice. The keys are still in good shape. But the soundboard is very cracked. sigh. But I am still playing it until we figure what to do with it.

Karen, I sent you a hug before, but it didn't post. Hmm. So sending more hugs this time!!

take care everyone,

embers

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/5/2011 6:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh I amso thrilled about the paino and you are playing..such good therapy for me..music is awesome!!! Sorry it is a little warped///I have to confess, we have a "Keyboard" (a nice one)
Since we live on stilts, no waterbeds or pianos, they say.

I know, you know your house like most people don't, cause you remember whenit was a wood skeleton, then with siding, insulation , electrical then drywaall, the flooring going in, ever little thing, so it is a more intimate relationship w/ a home you built...it will simply mean more to you than you imagine and ina year, it will" Do you remember when....?" and you will laugh.

Terrific friends w/ sister...we ciccle like schoolgirls, but can talk the heavy stuff too..I miss her so much

Slep t for poo last night and busy day ahead. Lord , give me the strength to be gracious and kind all day-

So happy to hear from you dear, please keep posting.. we enjoy yr comapny

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds abilify seroquel hydrocodone flexeril klonopin magnesium

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/5/2011 6:16 AM (GMT -6)   
that would be giggle, not ciccle-LOL!!
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds abilify seroquel hydrocodone flexeril klonopin magnesium

manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 11/5/2011 9:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Maggie,

My heart was so warmed when I read this: "Lord , give me the strength to be gracious and kind all day." If everyone had a heart like that the world would be quite shining with beauty.

I am realizing that there are many things about this house that we had no control over but that turned out just beautifully. Eg: there is a window that was added as an afterthought by the architect and it just happens to frame a tree perfectly and is the view right behind where my desk fits. So I can see it when I'm working on my puter. The front windows make it really homey - the sun pours in just perfectly to brighten the living room and make couch sitting cozy.

The teeny bedroom doesn't feel teeny after all. We switched the space of the fridge and the pantry, and now when we come in from stocking up shopping the pantry is first, so easy to unload things.

It has really turned out well when it comes to custom build. And I love the colors and how these things worked out. Nice big kitchen. The finishings are laughable - some crooked wall corners, crookedly installed kitchen cabinets! ugh. I could name a few other things, but these are cosmetic things and not overly noticeable.

Finished the returns we needed to do tonight re. house stuff. And most things are moved out of the rental FINALLY. Husband said he'd go back for the rest tomorrow. I hope he does. I figure the returns = the last thing I 'have' to do with him for awhile.

I told him a couple weeks ago to either go back on meds. or stay away from me. He went back on a reasonable dose of celexa. He is less of a crank. Just hard to have so little in common in the way of our approach to life and people. Though hopefully some common ground will reappear soon.

I guess the piano may stay awhile. I would love a new one, but we have a very significant debt load to repay as is. I guess the husband will likely have a say in how that will go.

I'm so glad you have a good relationship with your sister. That sounds really wonderful.

Karen, I guess now you are also updated on the house thing my way. How was your day? Did you take Jasmine out for a walk? It was snow covered today - the trees were so pretty! We have five little trees out back that you can see perfectly through the kitchen window - another thing we couldn't have planned but that turned out beautifully on its own. With a little help from above I'd say! :0)

Jamie, hope your day is going well and that you're getting good support your way. You give so much - hope you are receiving good encouragement back!

Take care you guys,

embers

getting by
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   Posted 11/5/2011 10:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Embers,

I did go on a walk with Jasmine, it was so nice. It was sunny and we climbed a big hill behind my house.

Have you seen any birds. I am waiting for when you put your birdfeeder up. That will probably towards the end though I imagine. When you do, you'll have to take a pic and send it to me...

Thanks for posting. It is so nice to have you back on the forum...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 11/6/2011 2:19 AM (GMT -6)   
thx very much embers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-) jamie.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/6/2011 6:33 AM (GMT -6)   
I just wrote a whole long post for you embers and to you and it is early and I hit some key and it's gone.LOL-guess it's time for more coffee

Our house is same way, some good errors and annoying errors.

I am so glad husband is taking something, so sorry there is all that distance...it feels very similar to my marriage. He has agreed to start meds again too but we have to wait to see doc, plenty of time to change his mind...I'll try to think positive...

I have to pray every day to be kind-lol...it doesn't come easy when I feel depressed or physical pain. BUT I always find gratitude in my dailylife, always at top of list is the beautifel new roof over my head. I know you feel the same way

Drop a line later on..so good to hear from you

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds abilify seroquel hydrocodone flexeril klonopin magnesium

manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 11/6/2011 4:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey you guys,

It is so comforting to be able to come here and share together, isn't it. A refuge of friends.

This house...wow, this is the first winter in 3 years we've been able to run the furnace. The rental = mold = no furnace. We used heaters only. So it feels sooo good to have 'real' heat again! It feels so good to have a home. Sooooo good.

Jamie, I'm just thinking of your other post where you shared some of what you have suffered. We have experienced a degree of homelessness too. Never on the streets, but at times sleeping in our vehicle, couch surfing, and going from crappy rental to crappy rental.

This house was supposed to be a 'charitable' project because we have low income and I have so many sensitivities and had not been able to access healthy housing. However, we were duped. The contractor was pocketing money for himself and ended up quitting part way through, tried to take us for $20 k or thereabouts. Next contractor, it took us 2 months before we realized they weren't doing it as a charitable project! THough at least one of the head builders seems to have a heart. We've got mounds of debt to pay back but my faith is sure there will be a way.

Karen, the birdfeeder...wow, I havn't even had time to think that far ahead. That will be lovely! Right now we are still living among boxes. I still have to seal the grout in the tiles. Stuff like that.

Yes, Maggie, a lot of similarities. I hope your h will stay the course to get back on meds! Today, things are tense with the husband. I apologized for any way I was wrong which was an open door for him to tell me how he felt I was wrong...and yet another argument. I feel relieved that at least I don't have to deny or pretend anymore, but also sad that what should be a joyous celebration of coming home is tainted by the realization that this marriage is not going well. He is back on celexa, but he seems to be missing something. I am just going to take things one day at a time.

hope everyone is having a safe and kind day, embers

getting by
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   Posted 11/6/2011 4:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Give the celexa some time to start working. He has been off meds long enough now that he is starting from scratch again and it takes these meds six to eight weeks to reach full effect. Though he might start feeling better sooner. It seems he needs a mood stabilizer with his moods jumping all around.

One day at a time is all we can do Embers, it is the best we can do. Try to forget about the troubles in building the house and enjoy it now. Things have a way of working out. And they will. The build is done, there may be some tight areas with paying payments. But you are in your house now. You can still enjoy it even if he puts a damper on the mood. Over look that and be happy. You deserve it now.

It is nice to have a warm furnace. One that heats from the floors is what I like the best. When the floor is warm, everything seems warm. I am happy that you have that now.

I hope your day gets better. Keep the faith.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 11/6/2011 5:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen. He was still taking a very minimal dose of celexa all along apparently. But you are right, I need to give it time. He needs time to rest as well. It is just all of this has brought things to the surface.

Yes, I will enjoy the house. Good advice. :0)

Warm floors, that is what's different! lol! Even with the space heaters getting the room warm, the floors would still be colder.

I went to look for christmas decorations today. Now that we have a home, we want to get a Christmas tree. Happy thoughts. :0)

Hope you are having a nice day, embers

bayoub2
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   Posted 11/6/2011 5:35 PM (GMT -6)   
I was going to recommend a mood stabilizer but embers is probably fortunate to get him on celexa. But with BPD, BP and major depression, they all add mood stabilizers, don't ya think Karen?

Oh yes, real heat and cooling...we lived w/ space heaters (that or gas heaters) and window units for brutsal summers...our old house was so leaky we had blankets over the windows and doors and it was still freeaing/burning hot-lol. I'm glad Katie can grow up in a decent home where she is not embarassed to bring friends hoem.

She is "talking to" a cute guy named Dylan. He is 16 works everyday after school and saturdays. Very nice young man.

We have a voting initiative up for vote on election day and it has me very upset.. It would outlaw most forms of birth control and any terminations, evenwhere it is a 100% sure the mom will die like ectopic pregnancies. If it comes to your state, don't be fooled. Now I can't help Katie with her extremely painful periods which are treated with hormonal BC methods which will now be illegal. All the docs are agst it too. I was going to go on our local radio and tell the women that it is misogynist, but no time. Dylan had on a yes ribbon and Katie ripped it off and said"if you care about me, you'll vote no" I guess I raised a lil activist-lol

Thanks for letting me vent...I know this is a sensitive subject but this rule haas gone too far.

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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theHTreturns...
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Date Joined Mar 2009
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   Posted 11/6/2011 6:25 PM (GMT -6)   
thx 4 sharing embers, re homelesness, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
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   Posted 11/6/2011 6:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Maggie,

That is so wrong. They are taking away women's rights to use birthcontrol. There will be many unwanted pregnancies. I can't believe that they are doing that. I went on birth control at 16. Had really messed up periods. Those days are over now, too old. lol... I sure don't miss them.

I hope that your day was good today.

Good night all. No, it is early, feels later that 6:58. I forgot about the time going back. Any ways I hope you all had a good day and Jamie, good morning. I know it is morning for you now. I hope that your day is good.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
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Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 11/6/2011 7:06 PM (GMT -6)   
thx karen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


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   Posted 11/6/2011 7:11 PM (GMT -6)   
I know, its 6:10 here and it's been dark for 2 hours-lol-is it bedtime yet?

Jamie what are your plans today? Anything going on?

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds abilify seroquel hydrocodone flexeril klonopin magnesium

manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 11/7/2011 11:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey you guys,

Can you list some names of mood stabilizers that you are familiar with? Do they have many side effects? I would love for his moods to even out.

Slept in today. I didn't really get a break on the week-end from the house, or the husband. So was good to rest. The buidlers aren't coming till later today or tomorrow.

Have to figure out a way to make the out of tune oversized dusty as all get out piano work until someone comes who will want to buy it.

I have been sitting here for about 20 minutes telling myself why everything is going to be okay, why I can be happy despite feeling stuck in this marriage etc. I guess once the day starts and I'm moving around I will feel less like crying.

Hope everyone has a good day today! embers

bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
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   Posted 11/7/2011 11:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi embers
sorry today is a blue monday...it is so hard to find the strength to keep up a troubled marriage, I know. Doesn't God want us to be happy? Should I stay and work harder, how much harder can I work at it, especially when it feels like the other person isn't really rying, just appeasing you. They think THEY are fine, it's us that are so hypersensitive and critical.

But, even if we give up on it, where do we go, how to support 2 houses when we have trouble paying for one...so we feel trapped too..

I have no answers embers, but I am there in the trenches with you. I hope that will help.

Pat, my husband took effexor and Lamictal(mood stabilizer) and did very well..it was his first combo and he was lucky that it worked. Other mood stabilizerfs are seroquel and....blanking out...seroquel is very sedating so I use it at night. I'm sure some others can come up with more but lamictal(lamotrigine) is very popular and effective...I hope he will take one

I'm here all day if you want to talk some more

Always in my prayers (I actually have a list of hw friends, since I am so bad at names-LOL

Hope you cheer up, even after my depressing letter-ha

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds abilify seroquel hydrocodone flexeril klonopin magnesium

getting by
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   Posted 11/7/2011 1:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Risperdol and Abilify are good mood stabilizers too. I take the abilify though I took the risperdol too, but the abilify worked better. Plus it makes your antidepressant work better. I have had no side effects from the abilify.

I hope that this helps.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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