Thanks for the tips re. mood stabilizers. I plan on sending him the info. when he is in a decent mood. (That sentence is ironic isn't it!)
Maggie, that is so how I have felt for years - trapped because I didnt' know how I would support myself and any money I had tried to save he sucked up one way or another.
Now, we finally have a decent place to live in and all I want is to leave. This past year there were two occasions where I would have left then and there had we not been in the house building crisis. I actually called my Mom to go 'visit' just to get away from him. I asked if she had room for me and she said "No, the cat has the back room now." She is old in years and didn't mean anything by it, but wow, she was not in touch with what I was really asking for - a safe place to run.
Husband was decent till mid afternoon. Annoying, but not a you know what. Then he started his ranting at around 5 pm. I told him to just stay away from me again. What saddens me is how it is affecting me. Sometimes I yell at him. That is not who I am.
Anyway, sorry for going on so. YOu must have good self control Maggie as you don't rant near as much as I do.
I keep telling myself God can make something good come from the mistake of marrying him and I do believe that. I'm just still waiting to see it. I was about
to leave in 2005, and didn't. Wish I would have. But at the same time, if I'd had left I would be less equipped than I am now to avoid people like him in the future.
So he just came and was trying to be all nice and wanting to 'understand.' I suggest that it is no use talking because talking to him is like talking to a boomerang and he blames everything on me. His response? "Are YOU always perfect." Lol! Talk about
proving the point.
Anyway, enough about
I still hope and pray the future will be better. I do believe it will.
Thanks for listening guys. If I were alone I don't know how I'd cope. Well, I would pray like anything...but you know, many years I was alone. Had no friends when we moved, no family to turn to etc. If I did, I likely would have left by now. But I have God. I have my online friends. And I have hope.
Post Edited (manyembers) : 11/7/2011 8:37:47 PM (GMT-7)