i just do no know????

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theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 11/6/2011 6:27 AM (GMT -6)   
at the moment i feel i just can't bloody win. not with 1 thing!! whinge whinge, yeah. life sux. i am doing nothing, i can not focus, stupid bi-polar, can't sit and even watch a program on tv for 30mins!! i am trying to cope, but this sleep deprivation is killing me. literally-at the moment i wish i wasn't here. my back, shoulders and feet constantly ache, my sugars are elevated, take a truck load of pills a day. more so is that i have nothing to live for. i have had enough of this hell, and i have been through enough in my younger days as well. when does it end my friends. when??? i just don't know anymore. i don't give a toss either. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/6/2011 6:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh jamie!!
I am sooo soryy you are in that place right now...and I will send YOU lots of healing compassionate thoughts yr way...I consider you a friend and I know many others feel same way...this place would be a drag without you and I know you have family that needs you (sis and Mum)

I know all of us go to that dark place now and then..remember you are sooo strong to be fighting this, normal folks couldn't do it and God sees your struggle and your strwength...it will get better, we know that from experience

Please hang in there..I know sleep would really help...is there anything else that helps you sleep? Maybe Doc could prescribe a short term med??

Know that we are here for you as you are always here for us..

Luv ya
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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PA_grandma
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2010
Total Posts : 3667
   Posted 11/6/2011 6:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Jamie, I wish I could help...
Just know that we care and are here for you to share your feelings.
I expect when the 'pros' wake up they will have some advice.

Anyway, spit it out, I'm listening
~ Joyce

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 11/6/2011 6:43 AM (GMT -6)   
thx maggie. my shrink is torturing me. luv ya. and thx. jamie. just feeling worthless.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/6/2011 6:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Been there darlin'!!! Just hang tough, cause I know you know it's a little better on other side...you are not worthless, you are not to blame for your illness, you did not ask for this...don't let the dam thing win!! You are a very special person, you really are

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 11/6/2011 6:54 AM (GMT -6)   
thx joyce. i want to be with my georgia. not doin' life at all well without her. i am sick of diabetes, i am sick of my genetic hormonal issues, am sick of bi-polar, am sick of the emotionally unstable personality dx. am sick of the hell some women have put me through, am sick of my sore back and feet, am sick of being on a disability pension, am sick of starting courses only having to throw them in. am sick of my dysfunctional family. am sick of the pure hell i went thru as a teen. sequale of abuse. i am sick of losing jobs, past, due to mental illness. sick that i had all my teeth out at 38. am sick of things that happened to me, homelessness, for 2 and a half yrs, hospitalisations, ECT, group treatment program for 6 months, am angry that georgia passed and i nor could the ambos have saved her. i am just sick of it. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 11/6/2011 6:55 AM (GMT -6)   
thank you maggie, luv ya. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/6/2011 7:00 AM (GMT -6)   
ME TOO!! I'm sick of all of them-let's go kick their a**** jamie

I'm not making light of your situation...it's just that if I could, I'd beat all that bad stuff up for you

Luv ya,
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 11/6/2011 7:05 AM (GMT -6)   
cry   cry cry cry HAPPY TEARS. LUV YA. ME. IT IS OK TO ANGRY SOMETIMES.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/6/2011 7:13 AM (GMT -6)   
It is definitely to be ok to be angry-took me a long time to get angry...

Be kind to yourself..I'm here
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 11/6/2011 7:18 AM (GMT -6)   
thank you very much maggie. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/6/2011 7:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Anytime!! Anytime if you ever want to email, it's in my profile!! I'm open 24 hours a day!

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 11/6/2011 7:25 AM (GMT -6)   
thx 4 that. i will. your a gem. bed time for me. have a great day. nearly 11.30pm. trying to stay up later. more sleepier so to speak, thus i might sleep. will hang for a bit. thank you for your care. jamie
 
ps me 24/7 as well. e-mail in profile as well.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/6/2011 8:47 AM (GMT -6)   
I'll say a little prayer for ya-I slept last night fairly well, still dragging cause of fibro I guess...but rootin for ya with the sleep fairy...talk to you this evening my friend

Love Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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tmjpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2024
   Posted 11/6/2011 9:38 AM (GMT -6)   
Gosh i am so sorry you are having such a rough go of things Jamie. Take it one hour at a time. You are really a strong person, did you know that. I hope you were able to get a few hours of sleep. I know how difficult that can be. Please hang in there and be kind to yourself.

Keep the faith,
Suzane

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 11/6/2011 9:44 AM (GMT -6)   
Jamie,

Know that I am here for you too. I know you have suffered with a lot. You need a break. I hope you are getting rest right now. No tossing and turning. I am yawning, still haven't woken up.

Hugs to you Jamie,

Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

stkitt
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/6/2011 12:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Jamie,
 
Even though we are continents apart I feel your pain and I understand it.  I hear exactly what you are saying and right now I am trying to tough out another crash in my own life dealing with the depression and anxiety.
 
Take my hand and we will make it through this bad time together.
 
Gentle Hugs,
 
Kitt
 
 
~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety, Osteoarthritis,
GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

www.healingwell.com

"only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be"

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/6/2011 2:53 PM (GMT -6)   
I hope jamiee is snoozing right now...kepp yr fingers crossed

It hurts to see him hurting

I love your signature quote stkitt

Take care
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 11/6/2011 4:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Sometimes when we've had enough we need to remember this: even if we don't feel we are getting much, we have much to give. You make the world a better place and there is a reason you are in it.

More than anything, like Karen said, it sounds like you need a break...even if just a good catch up on some sleep. Keep at it, searching for a way to get the rest you need. There has got to be something that will work, and something that will give at some point. Don't give up.

I hope for good things to come your way that will help heal and wash the injustices away.

take care, embers

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/6/2011 5:37 PM (GMT -6)   
HI jamie

We are all thinking of you

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 11/6/2011 5:59 PM (GMT -6)   
thx 4 your care, support and compassion guys. got some sleep, be it broken. very disturbong dreams at times. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 11/6/2011 6:15 PM (GMT -6)   
hi maggie thinking of you all too. with kind healing compasion to us all, jamie :-)
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/6/2011 6:17 PM (GMT -6)   
We missed you!!!!!!!!!!!(jumping up and down-LOL) Well, I just hate those weird nightmare nights, leaves you feeling a little odd....does any of that otc sleep aids help...just for a night..I used to take NYquil (cough syrup w/ alcohol) but thery cahnged the formula...I tell hubby to bash me in the head w/ sledge hammer I want it so bad
Hope your day wears you out in a good way jamie

Later
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds abilify seroquel hydrocodone flexeril klonopin magnesium

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 11/6/2011 6:20 PM (GMT -6)   
THX MAGGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MISSED YOU ALL. :-) TALK 2 YA LATER. JAMIE
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 11/6/2011 7:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Jamie and Kitt,

Thoughts and prayers going out for both of you. I hope you both feel better soon. Keep the faith...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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