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Nikki36
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/6/2011 11:39 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been diagnosed with depression ever sense my grandmother died. Over 21 years ago. And I always blame myself for her death. See me and my grandmother were close. So close that she was more of a mother to me. My mom had me when she was 17. And granted my dad was there till I was 4. He did not really want me. So my life was my gram. Well as I got older and so did she. I started taking care of her. From reading newspapers to her to bathing her to staying up late watching TV shows to her. Even if I had school the next day. Well one day. I had my music blaring. And She said Honey shut that music down. And I told her to drop dead. Being a teen for a split second. 4 hours later she was. And I always blame myself for her dying. My head knows it is not my fault. It was her time. But tell that to my heart.
And another thing. I did something in my past I am not proud of. But all my "friends" won't let me move on from it. They keep nagging over it again and again. I don't talk to them any more and they wonder why. And lately I keep hearing see so and so has a boyfriend your to ugly to have someone love you. Or no man would want you. I can't take it anymore. And all my doctor keeps saying is don't let it in. And refuses to change my med's.

sos007
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 615
   Posted 11/7/2011 1:05 AM (GMT -6)   
nikki....i am so sorry you had friends that were so unkind, which tells me they did not know how tobe a good friend....there loss!!have you concidered a support group they are people who will not judge they can be very helpful. What about a psycologist they can help you with proper meds. I hope maybe some of these ideas will be helpful. Keep in touch and good luck...amy

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/7/2011 6:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Are you of legal age(over 18?)..if so, change docs asap. If not, ask guardian to help you. Your doc sounds like a jerk. Will he increase the dose? That may help

Really, I would change docs and get a group or a counselor(therepist).

Welcome to our forum...please do not hesitate to ask questions...we are good listeners and have pretty good advice too. Keep posting

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/7/2011 6:57 AM (GMT -6)   
I just read yr post again and your gm died 21 years ago!! So sdorry, not awake yet..

Change doctors and make sure that jerk knows why!!

Good luck and let us know
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds abilify seroquel hydrocodone flexeril klonopin magnesium

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/7/2011 9:36 AM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry that your friends were so mean to you. I hope that you don't believe what they say. Know with your grandmother, it was a coincidence. These things happen. Know that we are here for you now. And do get a counselor, they really help.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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