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Posted 4/4/2005 7:27 PM (GMT -6)
I don't know what I'm doing, so I guess that's why I finally resorted to this.  I need to talk to someone, but don't want to affect my friends or family, or spend money to see a doctor. I don't even have anything wrong with me, but I get depressed and occasionally I consider suicide.  I'm in love with someone, and they say they love me, but apparently this isn't enough to stop these feelings of depression.  I figure if I truly love him, I need to leave him and not screw up his life or his family's.  I mean, how can I lead a normal life with him when I'm not a normal person.

Idunno 

Posted 4/4/2005 7:42 PM (GMT -6)
Welcome Idu!!!

You've come to a caring, friendly place!! Your feelings of guilt, anxiety, and sadness all go hand in hand with depression. We are not medically trained, but just here to share and care for each other. It IS REALLY HARD to reach out when you feel down the way you do . . . but that is precisely when you need to share your feelings with your doctor, boyfriend, mother, or church friend, and just tell them "I need your help" and tell them how you are feeling.

Depression can be a chemical imbalance in the brain or a need to untangle thought patterns all tangled up and bugging you . . . a doctor can best judge where you fit in. With your thoughts of harming yourself you should look up your local suicide hot line number and talk to someone who will be able to help you make sense of things NOW. There is only one YOU and we want be here for you when you need to vent.

Welcome, and I hope your find some comfort in some of the other posts here.

Blessings!
Posted 4/4/2005 7:45 PM (GMT -6)
Idu,

If you post your city and state, I'll try to look up a local number for you. You can then delete that post (that contains your city and state) any time you want by clicking the X in the upper right corner of your post (you will only see the X on your own posts).

I'd would love to help you.

Blessings!
Posted 4/4/2005 8:34 PM (GMT -6)

Idunno, We all try to make sense of things we do in life. Did something happen between you and your boyfriend to make you think you are not normal? Get it out...it's not healthy to hold your feelings inside.  We are here to listen and help you. Carlita

Posted 4/4/2005 8:51 PM (GMT -6)
I mean I'm not normal because I'm depressed.  Is it fair for a normal person to be burdened with a depressed one in a relationship?  I emailed a suicide hotline, thanks for the suggestion, I was thinking I shouldn't bother others with real problems, but I really appreciate the support.

Idunno

Posted 4/4/2005 9:01 PM (GMT -6)
Best news I could have all night Idu!!! Kudos to you for reaching out!

When you love someone and that someone loves you . . . you WANT to help each other. That is a relationship. Yes, you should be able to trust your partner with your 'burdons'. If the other person truly loves you, they will want to help. And BTW . . . everyone gets depressed sometimes . . . but when we feel as blue as you do right now . . . we need help. Glad you posted again. Keep us updated and remember . . . do confide in your boyfriend and your doctor (at least).

Blessings!
Posted 4/5/2005 10:16 AM (GMT -6)
Idunno,

Welcome to the board. I am glad you reached out to get some help. I agree with Rosie, while difficult to do, getting professional help was the best thing for me. I did not want to admit anything was wrong with me and this was just the way I was. Come to find out, there were things that I could do to help me so I no longer think and behave the way I use to. Good luck in finding the answers you are looking for.
Posted 4/5/2005 8:59 PM (GMT -6)
Idu . . . I wonder how you are today confused

If you see this message and you are up to it, please give us an update. Remember, you are not alone . . . you can come here anytime.

Blessings!
Posted 4/6/2005 5:11 PM (GMT -6)
Idu . . . We are still hoping you will check back in and let us know how things are going . . . be it good or bad.

We are here for you !!

Blessings!
Posted 4/8/2005 7:45 PM (GMT -6)

Hi

I am doing ok, sometimes I feel I can try to live without being depressed.  I appreciate the support I have received from people, especially Rosie, and I'm glad I reached out.  It's good to get out your feelings, even if it is to strangers.

Idunno

Posted 4/8/2005 9:28 PM (GMT -6)
Oh Idu . . . so glad for an update!!! Actually, its easier to reach out to strangers . . . less risk. :-)

Check back in whenever you can, we'd love an update if your feeling good or bad. When you expressed yourself up above . . . others who have similar feelings, but only read and don't post, were looking for responses too.

Blessings!
Posted 4/14/2005 10:42 PM (GMT -6)
Hello Idu . . . stop in and say hello. I'm wondering how you've been doing. Have you talked to a counselor yet??

Blessings?
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