Hello, Daemon 571, and welcome to the Depression Forum,
You may have hit on one problem that causes you to lose friendships
and be separated from your loved one: selfishness. Do you try to fight that in yourself by making an effort to be generous? If so, you will be making a big difference in how people view your emotions.
Some counselling in the basic cause of your selfishness would be called for, I might guess. It could go far back into your childhood and some
insecurity there. If you were loved genuinely by your mother and father, chances are that you would have overcome a large part of that.
Did you have siblings who might have been unfair or envious? So many things happen when very young children are exposed to negative things--that often leads to depression and loneliness in adulthood.
Discuss your childhood with your psychiatrist, please. There may
be some some wounds and some things that may never have been resolved which need attention. It could bring you freedom and give you full control of your life making you happy for the first time in years.
You deserve to be content and at peace, you know. Only you can make
that happen inwardly. Spiritual values help very much in that endeavor.
I hope your life will improve as you wish.
Take care of yourself.
Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 11/11/2011 9:20:19 PM (GMT-7)