Introduction: My name is Sean and I am depressed and lonely.

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Daemon571
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 11/11/2011 10:42 PM (GMT -6)   
This is my first post here. In fact it's my first post to ANY depression forum. I think I'm depressed because I feel lonely. My heart is lonely. I've been having problems building relationships. I'm separated. I can't seem to open up to people. There was one person who was there for me and now she's gone. She would rather not be with me because I was so difficult to deal with at times. Only now in the end I realise my mistakes. It's hard for me to move on knowing what I should have done. I'm afraid that I will always make mistakes that will result in me losing people close to me. I am selfish, scared, sad and lonely. I rarely leave my house. I do take anti-depression medication that balances me, but I just don't know what to do to keep going. Everything seems so overwhelming. I'm always saying "I"m sorry". I always hurt someone. Thanks for reading.

Sean

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/11/2011 10:48 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Deamon571,

Do you go to counseling? Would you want to tell us what made you so difficult to deal with? Maybe there are a few things that you can work on to become a better person? Do you think that would help? What were the mistakes that you realized? You can work on that too. I think coming here is going to help you. But I thinki counseling too would help you with self esteem. And learning not to hurt people.

Thanks for posting.

Welcome to the depression forum.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 11/11/2011 11:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, Daemon 571, and welcome to the Depression Forum,

You may have hit on one problem that causes you to lose friendships
and be separated from your loved one: selfishness. Do you try to fight that in yourself by making an effort to be generous? If so, you will be making a big difference in how people view your emotions.

Some counselling in the basic cause of your selfishness would be called for, I might guess. It could go far back into your childhood and some
insecurity there. If you were loved genuinely by your mother and father, chances are that you would have overcome a large part of that.

Did you have siblings who might have been unfair or envious? So many things happen when very young children are exposed to negative things--that often leads to depression and loneliness in adulthood.

Discuss your childhood with your psychiatrist, please. There may be some some wounds and some things that may never have been  resolved which need attention.  It could bring you freedom and give you full control of your life making you happy for the first time in years.

You deserve to be content and at peace, you know. Only you can make
that happen inwardly. Spiritual values help very much in that endeavor.

I hope your life will improve as you wish.

Take care of yourself.

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 11/11/2011 9:20:19 PM (GMT-7)


Daemon571
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 11/11/2011 11:24 PM (GMT -6)   
I am in-decisive. I don't think of other people feelings. I feel like it's too late. That I will never recover. Who would want to be with me?

My mom loved me. I can't seem to let go, espcially when I've caused that person to go away. I want to fix things but I keep stumbling. I feel hopeless. I have no one to talk to

Daemon571
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 11/11/2011 11:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I have no insurance I can't afford a psychiatrist. I don't even know where to start.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/11/2011 11:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Here is a place to start...
 
 
Give this site a try.  It is free. 
 
There are ways to work around the system.  You can find mental health facilities that work on a sliding scale.  This means it goes by your income and if you qualify, you get cheaper rates.  Also they often give out samples, so that helps you with your medication. 
 
Are you working anywhere?  If so, what do you do? 
 
It is sad, there are a lot of people that cant afford help.  Comng here helps, but professional help is best.  You can also get books that help you.  Don't hesitate to do that.
 
Take care, I hope taht you feel better.
 
Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Daemon571
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 11/12/2011 12:03 AM (GMT -6)   
I"m not working. I don't even know how to search for help. I"m trying to hold on, but it's so hard. I have up and down days. The down days I drink. thanks for your help.

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 11/12/2011 4:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Well, Daemon571, the drinking is one thing you need to stop right away. Alcohol makes depression worse.

Who prescribes  your antidepressants? That doctor should know that you drink so that you may be given medication to help you stop it. That would be a big first step.

I.G.

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 11/12/2011 2:33:28 AM (GMT-7)


bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/12/2011 5:33 AM (GMT -6)   
I went to a clinic for years and they never charged me a dime and the psychiatrist always prescribed $4 prescriptions..call your local heath dept, they should know where the clinic is..

If you never want to leave yr home, your med is not working well. You probably need to increase the dose, add another med or change meds.

It is very hard to not feel regrets over a relationship that you botched up...but regrets are very destructive, as is guilt unless you glean a lesson from your past actions..try to learn something from this...

Alcohol is about the worst thing you can do when depressed..I know it used to make me obsess over my mistakes and wallow in self-pity.

It is easy for me to say these things, harder foryou to do but just try one step at a time...call the clinic on Monday and make an appt, you'll feel better just doing that

This is a wonderful forum and we care, but counseling is the best way to move forward

Keep posting
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds seroquel hydrocodone magnesium potassium multi vit

Daemon571
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 11/12/2011 1:29 PM (GMT -6)   
She was right there and I let her go......How do you recover from that?

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 11/12/2011 2:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, one thing you can do is to try to stop thinking about the past. I
know that it hurts and we've all been through the loss of a loved one.
Memories do grow less painful, however, and life has newness about it every day when you let it.

I would like for you to go online to a website called spiritual principles and try to take in what is being said about how to live life. That's really
for some of us the only sure way to love life.

If the alcohol is a problem for you, bathe, shave, dress in your good clean clothes, polish your shoes, and go to an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meeting. The people there know more than any 3 of us together could say to help you get started on a new life with new and
higher principles for living. (AA is listed in your telephone directory, I think.)

You're really someone who can make your life much better if you are willing to take the time and effort to go for it.  There's a song that has as part of its lyrics, "you get what you get when you go for it" etc.  Life is somewhat like that, Daemon571.

Take care of yourself.

I.G.

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 11/12/2011 12:14:54 PM (GMT-7)


bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/12/2011 2:24 PM (GMT -6)   
I blew the best relationship I ever had, I was the love of his life and he mine and I blew it...noone to blame but me, I sabotaged our love with my actions

I have since married and had a beautiful child and have a good life, so you do recover from it, life goes on whether you want it to or not

There will be good times after all this.

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds seroquel hydrocodone magnesium potassium multi vit

Daemon571
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 11/13/2011 1:32 AM (GMT -6)   
it's so hard.....i don't know what will happen next. all i think about is what could have been. I"m afraid I will blow the next relationship.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/13/2011 8:32 AM (GMT -6)   
You gotta put the past behind you and live for a new day. Quite worrying about what could of or didn't happen. Keep moving forward. You can do this. Are you going to any counseling? I highly recommend it. You don't need to worry about what is going to happen next. Life unfolds as it does. Have confidence that things are going to work out for you. Work on you now.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/13/2011 1:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Yup "coulds, shoulds woulds" are very useless emotions...they will not help you move on...when you catch yrself doing that, change activities, listen to muzic, walk cook anything...

It takes practice, so start on that now, ok?

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds seroquel hydrocodone magnesium potassium multi vit

Daemon571
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 11/20/2011 1:44 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all for your replies. I got new meds to help with my depression. I'm going to try. My heart is heavy and my spirits are down. I wish I was someone else. I hate going thru this alone. I just don't know how to have a good relationship. This is a good forum. Thank you.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/20/2011 3:51 PM (GMT -6)   
You aren't alone anymore. You have us. We will always be there for you.

Remember that.

I hope that you are feeling well. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Daemon571
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 11/20/2011 4:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you. It's going to be hard. I do feel lonely. I'm going to try.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/20/2011 4:10 PM (GMT -6)   
I spend a lot of time alone and I got use to it, but I do have a husband that lives here and my dog. So I guess my dog keeps me company. Have you thought about getting a pet? Or do you have one already? They are great companions. Mine is very spoiled. But I love her.

I really hope that you feel better soon. Keep trying, you will be happy. Learn to love yourself. Then you never feel alone.

Get comfortable and enjoy your evening.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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