My life, I am 49, never had a single relationship with a woman, never kissed or held hands, this is me. Next never had independence, lived with my parents all my life, totally ashamed of my nothing existence. Positive, I have worked all my life fulltime, struggled with sociol anxiety, depression and general anxiety all my life. about 12 months ago I was very distressed and seeked treatment, firstly my doctor, then psychologist and finally psychiatrist. Just got out of hospital 2 weeks ago treated for major depression, currently on effexor 150mg, avanza 60mg.
Now I feel real bad about myself for not doing anything my whole life, I have tried to get a relationship in the last 12 months but sadly have had not a single date. I now no it is very hard to get a relationship for anyone and I should not be hard on myself.
I am also looking at independence, I think i can achieve this in the next 6 to 12 months. I must be careful as my depression did not respond much through medication, I had to use mindfullness. I am now asking for some advice, whenever I start to get to know someone they tell me about themselves, their live, what they are doing. With me, i have had no life, no holidays, no fun, no independence, I feel i cannot tell people the truth about me as i feel so sad and ashamed of myself, it hurts me just to think of this, it makes me feel sad. Any advice will help.
What i have done for myself: I have joined a gym, joined a bush walking group, done a singles tour wine tasting, another singles event, go to local rsl, joined indoor rock climbing group and also social club activities. I have tried to help myself. Some will laugh at my comments as I have caused my miserable life, where a lot of people have had unfortunate circumstances, I have no excuse for my sad life. Anyway look forward to your comments.