Hi, I'm new to the forum, but not new to depression. I've been on Zoloft/Prozac since high school, more than 15 years. I suffered from bulimia and sleeping problems, but have made some pretty good progress over the past few years.
One massive, massive problem: I have to fight with myself to do anything I need to do. One big example: my apartment. I moved in more than two years ago and still not unpacked completely. Thus I am unable to have friends over because there are boxes everywhere. I don't know what the problem is but I have some sort of mental block that seems to prevent me from finishing this task. When I think I about
, I get very, very anxious. I do make progress here and there. This weekend I took a box out to the garbage, that was my big accomplishment! I'm not a hoarder since I'm not attached to the stuff, and if I had the money and was not ashamed I would hire someone to come in and just clean it up for me.
I do the same thing with my bills and finances. I won't pay bills on time, even when I have the money. Thus, I constantly get late fees and overdraft fees and my credit is terrible. It's like some kind of mental block/self-destruction going on.
As long as I take the antidepressants, I don't feel depressed and have decent energy. If you knew me at work you would not imagine I was such a mess since I am very cheerful and also very smart. I'm still single but I know I can't be with anyone until I get my act together.
What the hell is wrong with me? Is this anxiety? A symptom of depression?
Thank you so much for any insight and support.