The "American Dream" seems more like the "American Nightmare" to me....

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

elfenprincess
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 96
   Posted 11/15/2011 12:39 AM (GMT -6)   
I think in the past I used to dream about being married and having kids, but lately I've felt like those things would be the ultimate nightmare. I don' t know if it has to do with me being depressed or possibly having other mood problems, but now I view relationships and marriage in such a negative light... I haven't been able to be in a relationship without the feeling of being "trapped" even if I love the person. I have visions of me being married and being so unhappy and not being able to be a good mom to my kids. Or my husband cheating on me. I've thought alot of times that maybe I should be in an
open relationship so there wouldn't be any such thing as cheating. Part of me still does think that it would be great if I could just be satisfied with normalcy and I think I would love being a mom. My fear is that I will never be content with myself and be able to have these things, even if I do want them...

Maybe I'm just not meant to have these things or have them in the traditional way, but it's harder to find an unconvetional way that's accepted...my current boyfriend would never consider having an open relatioinship and he doesn't really understand my ideas about fear of stability

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 11/15/2011 8:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Your life will be what it is meant to be. Don't jump into marriage, but no marriage is perfect. Things happen. You do have to take chances in life and have faith that things are going to work out for you.

I wouldn't rush in to anything. But I wouldn't be so negative about it either. I have been married twice. I lost my first husband to cancer. Which I never dreamed would happen. I have gotten married again to a very good man. My first marriage wasnt perfect but lasted 23 years. This marriage is much better. But not perfect. Nothing is. And I am very happy.

So don't let fear stop you if you love somebody.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

elfenprincess
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 96
   Posted 11/16/2011 12:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you, that's a good way to look at it. I know marriage isn't an all bad thing and plenty of people have been happy with it. It's something I have different views on because I haven't been happy with stable situations. I don't know why it is. I just hate the feeling of being in something that isn't easy to get out of if I'm unhappy. It's something I would maybe try though with the right person....

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/16/2011 5:47 AM (GMT -6)   
When you are young, marriage and kids seem like bondage, like youzare handcuffed, because you are beholden to them...be yourself for a few years, all of us different, I married at 41, child at 43 and I had a ball before then...
M
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds seroquel hydrocodone magnesium potassium multi vit

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42438
   Posted 11/16/2011 10:00 AM (GMT -6)   
You don't have to get married to love somebody. Try living with them before you make a commitment. Often that piece of paper changes people. They think that they own eachother. When they don't. Do what feels right for you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Friday, June 22, 2018 5:09 PM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,974,381 posts in 326,171 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 161254 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Bozorama.
249 Guest(s), 9 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Gunner823, summer16, ArtAngel, The Dude Abides, Girlie, G-Ju, Tall Allen, carnut, lapilot