Hi everyone, hope you're all having a decent day.
I'm sorta having a sucky one. I've been dealing with chronic pain since December, so I have elevated depression & anxiety due to that, but now I am having issues with my boyfriend again.
My boyfriend has major anger issues, and while he isn't physically abusive to me I am unable to deal with his outbursts any longer. I arranged for him to see a Psychiatrist, and he did. I worked really hard to get the appointment and to work out his insurance, and to explain the situation to his doctor because I sat in with them because my boyfriend couldn't understand what the doctor was saying. Anyhow, he was diagnosed with bi-polar or possible borderline personality disorder, and was given Seroquel XR.
So its been a couple months since then, and my boyfriend had a really drastic improvement with the medication. At least it seemed like it was due to the medication. His anger was much better contained, and his depressive and hyper mood swings were very very minimal.
Well, today he was having anger issues and started to get upset at a video game and started to rant about
it. He gets so frustrated at it, and then just vents it all on me like I understand. I don't really understand, because its irrational anger, but I still try to listen and calm him down. Well, he went from talking about
that to asking if maybe his medicine isn't working now. I told him that it is possible that he is seeing some increase in symptoms because he has very weird work hours and hasn't been consistent in the times that he has taken his Seroquel. I know that Seroquel is XR and probably stays in your system a bit, but I also think that it is probably possible that taking it at such erratic times (4am one day, 3pm another, 10pm etc...). I think he even forgot it one or two days (not in a row, but still.)
So I explained that to him, and told him it is something to talk to his doctor about
when we see him Thursday. I also mentioned that his doctor would know better than me, and that if he thought it was a medication issue maybe he could change it or up the dosage. Well my boyfriend just totally changed on a dime and was like, "Well I am NOT upping the dosage so forget that. Period."
I was sorta taken aback, and asked him why. He said it was because he didn't want to "Mess up my muscles". He was referring to Tardive Dyskinesia, which as far as I know is a relatively rare side effect. (Like 3%). I also was told and read that it really is only when people take the medication for a long time on a relatively high dose. He hasn't had any side effects from the Seroquel at all so far, and has done so well on it. I have no idea why he would just bring that up like that. I understand the concern, but when I tried to tell him that he should ask the doctor about
it and how it isnt a very comment problem--he got mad at me and said that everything he says is just "In one ear and out the other" and went upstairs. Then he posted on Facebook about
how horrible his day has been and everything.
I just cannot deal with him going back to his violent mood swings again. I seriously cannot deal with it in the state I am in. I am the complete opposite of him in psychological problems, and the mere raising of a voice in anger makes me have severe anxiety attacks. So right now I just simply can't take it. If he goes back to how he was, I feel like I am going to have to break it off with him or something. Its just so hard because I still love him, and we've been together for like 5 years. Still, it is really hard to live with when you have your own issues. I'm sure he would never be able to function or live here if I was the same as him, instigative and aggressive. The only reason we don't have huge blowouts is that I very rarely argue against him, I am passive and get anxious easily. I'd rather something blow over and he'd rather it blow up. ...:sigh:, I don't know.