How do I tell him I want to go to the hospital?

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bayoub2
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/17/2011 11:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear friends
 
Been in a really bad way for over 2 months, just thought I would fight my way out, as I usually do. This monster has a hold and won't let go. I called my shrink and therapists office and they called back and said go to psych facility and get assessed.
 
I desperately need med change and a place where I don't have to niggle all day about my family's needs. My husband gets very put out when I go in, it really seems to bother him;he thinks family probs stay in family and doesn't understand all that talky stuff. He and Katie argue constantly so it is hard on Katie, who has her own problems right now...feel that I am abandoning her...her friend just almosr succeeded in killing herself and Katie is very upset.
 
Do I put this off til after Thanksgiving or make arrangements for her to hang with a friend? I just can't think straight and I don't care anymore...all I do is lie in bed and cry (for the last 3 weeks)...so all that positive stuff I wrote was just horsesh**, I guess or wishful thinking.
 
WQhat do I do?
 
Maggie

It's Genetic
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Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 11/17/2011 1:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Maggie, I've watched your posts and listened to your strength in dealing
with depressed people. You're gifted, noo-o-o question about it, but there comes a time when you have to oversee your own health first.

Get to the hospital, in my view, and let them make the necessary assessment and get the meds straight, then come back home to a new and better situation. Katie would probably enjoy being with friends while you're away. Please tell your husband it's a life-saving aid for you to follow your psychiatrist's directions.

It's the only way to heal, in my view, Maggie. You're too valuable here, too, to keep struggling. Helping comes so naturally for you; take care of YOU
now, please.

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 11/17/2011 12:34:30 PM (GMT-7)


bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/17/2011 1:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you IG that is indeed high praise coming from you, I admire your knowledge and insight too.

So weird, I am so capable helping others and so frikkin helpless to helping myself. I'm going to talk yo Katie alone toight-if it's ok by her, then the old man will have to deal.

Thanks again for your encouragement and gentleness in sayinf it

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 11/17/2011 2:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Maggie,

You really need to do this for yourself. They will manage without you for a little while. Take this time and get better. It will be better this way in the long run.

We really do care about you here. And we are insisting that you do this for yourself. It will go by fast and you will be refreshed when you get home. You are trying to help yourself. You deserve that.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20186
   Posted 11/17/2011 3:36 PM (GMT -6)   
agree with the above sweetie. with much healing compassion. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

greenbean885
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 310
   Posted 11/17/2011 4:25 PM (GMT -6)   
I am really glad that you realized what you need and I know you will be successful in taking care of yourself. From your posts, you sound like a wonderful mother and I am sure that Katie will understand that you need to take care of you for a bit.

I hope your talk goes well with her. She will miss you, undoubtedly, but it's really crucial you do this. You've helped me so much and I'd like to know you helped you too!

You can do it. Thoughts and prayers with you tonight.

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 11/17/2011 5:24 PM (GMT -6)   
If you have gotten to the point you say, and I have no reason to doubt anything, how much good are you to the people around you right now? If things get worse how much good are you going to be to them at that point?

A few days or even a couple of weeks in a place where you can get everything sorted out will be, in the long run, much more helpful not only to you but to your family and everyone else around you as well.

As far as the friction between your husband and daughter goes is there any way your daughter can stay at a family member's or friends house while you are in the hospital? Even if it is just for the weekend or weekends while you are in may go a long way to reducing tensions. If not could some one possibly come over to your house for a little while each day and maybe fix a supper or do a little house work to help with things?

stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 11/17/2011 6:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Maggie,
 
First of all healing hugs to you.  There is never a good time to go to the hospital as something is always going on so this is where you put yourself first and go to the hospital. 
 
I went through a deep depression that lasted a few years. Finally a friend said  to me, "If your car was running slowly, eating up gas, not performing, not starting, would you take it personally or take it to the shop?"  It is time to take yourself to the hospital and know we are here to support you. 
 
I am so glad you recognize how ill you are at this time in your life.  You will get better.
 
Gentle Hugs,
Kitt

~~Kitt~~
Moderator: Anxiety, Osteoarthritis,
GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.

www.healingwell.com

"only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be"

sos007
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 615
   Posted 11/17/2011 7:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Maggie...I am fairly new to this sight, but from what I read all the encouragement you give to others you need to help you.....They will manage, and if your husband gets upset he will get he will get over it. Your daughter sounds like a smart girl she will be fine. Take this time to heal for you. I will keep you in my prayers and I am here to just listen if you need to vent. Bless you Maggie

Take Care, Amy



50 yr. old female
Chronic pain, fibro, mild depression and nerve pain

stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 11/17/2011 10:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Maggie,

Go take care of you. Yes, as mothers we don't want to leave the house, we put the family before ourselves, its just natural. But, when we are not well we have to take care of ourselves. Sometimes I think if I had gone to the hospital when all of this started going bad 4 months ago, I would be at a better place now. I couldn't leave though, I am a single mother and how would I explain this. Don't ignore that voice telling you that you need help conquering this round of the fight we are in. I think it just makes things worse. Go get yourself on the path towards wellness. I need you here, we need you here but I want you better first. You are always so positive and supportive. I get sad when I know that my friends are suffering. I will pray for you to have peace with the decision to go, for Katie to understand your need and for your healing.

Hope this isn't too all over the place. Struggling with focus and mind is racing but I had to let you know that I care.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/18/2011 2:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Can't sleep

I am deeply touched, but not surprised, at your support and encouraement. We always rally around those that are hurting, cause we've been there. I guess it is my time to be that person.

Your kind words made me feel much better about my decision. Katie was absolutely great.It is beginning of t'giving break so she had alot of plans anyway. She is staying with a friend toit and sat. Husband gets very lonely, but it's not like he's had a real wife for awhile anyway, just a blob who never got outof bed.

Thank you fro making me feel needed here...I do so care about each and every one of you and thank you for your prayers.

Love to you all
maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


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manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 11/18/2011 2:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Maggie,

Praying for you and sending hugs. Not much to say at the moment - tired, but doing okay. But wanted to send my support.

We are all routing for you. Keep hanging in there. You are needed and loved by so many in this world.

embers

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/18/2011 3:03 AM (GMT -6)   
OH EMBERs been worried about you girl!! Hope things are alright and thank you for the prayers, I know they are heard.

Take care and let's catch u next week

Love
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds seroquel hydrocodone magnesium potassium multi vit
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