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BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 11/19/2011 9:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry for the double post. I have something I want to ask, and I don't know who to ask because the people I would ask are why I feel bad right now. I have a loving boyfriend who I see one weekends (he works in the next town over), but I have very few friends and no social life. I have one friend who lives three hours away who I can say anything to. She feels the same way, but today she sent me some pretty heavy text messages. Another friend called with major life problems, and I felt like I couldn't help either one of them. I'm sitting in my dirty apartment, alone, eating crap food. The least I can do is help my friends feel better, but I can't even do that. I'm useless! I just got a job, which should be great, but I feel 100x more depressed and anxious now than I did before. What if I'm incapable of leading an adult life? All I want is to be a good friend and keep friendships, but I'm too depressed. Even reading this I can tell how scattered my brain is. It's too late at night to call my parents, my boyfriend's out of town until after Thanksgiving and I feel bad calling him while he's on vacation (plus he's in a different time zone too), and my friends are calling me with their problems so I can't unload on them. I don't know where to turn. I saw my psych today, and I felt fine while I was in his office. Then I came home and fell apart. I hate my stupid life.

Sorry for complaining. I just don't know what to do. Even one step at a time is overwhelming. I told another friend that lives near me that we'd hang out tomorrow, but at 6:37 the night before I'm having a panic attack about it. What is wrong with me? I just want to feel better.

Trish

Alaskah
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 11/19/2011 9:43 PM (GMT -6)   
We don't always have to provide the perfect answers when people turn to us. Sometimes they just need us to listen and empathize. Don't be so hard on yourself - you clearly care a lot for them, so just show it and be there for them when they need someone to talk to.

You are not useless. You have your own place and just got a job! Congrats! You have some friends and a boyfriend who care about you. That's more than I have at the moment. I understand the anxiety, too. Just don't think too much about it or try to plan what you'll do or say because it will just add to the pressure. Or, if you must plan, just make a simple list of conversation topics you can easily remember in case you need to draw on them. But don't think about anything negative that could happen - this is a friend, so they already like you and want to hang out with you.

I'm sorry you are under so much stress right now. Relationships take work to maintain, so just keep cherishing what you have and offer your shoulder to cry on and your ears to listen.

"Life's journey is like driving at night in the fog.
You can only see as far as your headlights,
but you can make the whole trip that way."


Chronic Lyme, Depression, Anxiety, 12+ Years

Chartreux
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 9664
   Posted 11/19/2011 10:15 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with what Alaskah said, just
lend your friends an ear and tell them you empathize with them, but truly don't
know what to suggest...and it sounds like your a great friend so don't be hard
on yourself, we do what we can for our friends...

Congrats on the Job, hope it's a good job and that you'll like it...
and take one day out of the week to just do what you want to do, no
answering of the phone and relax on that one day, try
relaxations techniques listen to relaxation cd's, ect...
everyone needs one day to themselves...
Hope your feeling better soon...many well wishes...
**********************************************
* So many dx's I could write a book* "It would be nice if we could use the edit button in real life"...
********>^..^<********>^..^<*******

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 11/20/2011 6:55 AM (GMT -6)   
You must be a good friend if everybody is dumping on you. They feel comfortable enough to talk to you and open up when they feel vulnerable. But you can dump on them too you know. It is a two way street. Though you are probably like me and keep your problems to yourself. But it is okay to share a burden.

You don't sound scattered to me. I totally understood your post. I hope that things get better for you. Do appreciate the good things in life. You do have some.

You are a good person and a valuable member here. Remember that we got your back.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BlueMoon878
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 11/20/2011 1:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks everyone for your kind words. I am just going through a rough patch, and it really is good to know that you've 'got my back' (thanks, Karen, that really made me feel a lot better).

I know that when I need them they'll be there for me too, but it just feels really crummy when we're both feeling down and neither one of us can help the other.

This morning is a little better, but I am still really anxious and it is only 10 a.m. Hopefully this will pass. I had vague plans to meet up with an old acquaintance* this afternoon, and I was thinking I might make it my goal to make it happen.

*This is my old roommate who I made the mistake of getting sort-of involved with. I'm thinking hanging out with him might be good to clear the air or it could just be really awkward. We shall see... blush

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42611
   Posted 11/20/2011 3:50 PM (GMT -6)   
I hope that your meeting with your old aquaintance worked out okay and wasn't awkward. I was anxious this morning because I went to lunch with friends. It went really well. My girlfriend and I both have a birthday coming up. We went to a Mexican Restaurant. It was all guys working. They sang Happy Birthday to us and gaves us deep fried icecream for dessert. It was really good. We had a good time. But I always get anxious beforehand. I hate that. But I am always glad when I go.

Let us know how your afternoon went. I hope it was nice.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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