Thank you!! It's really helpful to get it all out there. I'm hoping something positive will come if i keep working hard.
It turns out he hacked my laptop (how in gods name he did this, I don't know. But he's a computer guru). I made me so angry, he's invaded my privacy before but this takes things to a whole new level. He said he did it to "protect me" but that really makes no sense. I really can forgive almost anything and with that said, I still love him and told him so. I would still be there for him if he had a problem or anything, and I want is that same understanding back from a person I love. I'll never understand the sneaking around that he's done though. Makes me realize I wasn't crazy for thinking he'd installed cameras in my room at one point!