Yes, her depression was wearing me out after four months and multiple requests for her to get help. I told her I needed to step back because it was pulling me down too and since I had been depressed before, I knew what to avoid. She was unintentionally hurting me and I understood that, but the mood swings, constant crying, lack of care, ignoring me, neglecting me... I needed a break. She ended up losing all my trust and I think that really deepened the depression. She was so sad... only laid around and cried. I have wondered many times if I should have gotten a professional involved then.
Once she got into counseling, I assured her that we could attend sessions together once she was better as an individual. Long story short, she woke up one day, said she couldn't keep hurting me while she "got better". Thing is, she hasn't gotten any better. I worry because like I said, I was the only person she was close to enough to know something is wrong. I guess none of our other friends take depression seriously because they just keep saying, "she's depressed, just move on". I dont think she's in counseling anymore.
Many people knew her before we met and they say that she is behaving "like she did before us". She talked to me about that time period of her life... she wasn't happy at all and she said no one ever cared. That's why I know she's not ok. Well, that and the last thing she said to me was "I'm a mess". This behavior is not who she is at all, she is just surrounding herself with people who will deem it acceptable.
I wish I could explain it all so that it made more sense. I think she's had the opportunity to help herself and if she truly is to a point of drugs/alcohol... this is what I consider "serious". Sometimes we are not capable of helping ourselves, I think. I know that's why she got me out of her life- she tried to get better and it was hard and she knows that was the only option with me. She knows I'm not going to let her hurt herself more. I really just think she is scared... if you could have seen how scared she was when she begged for help... you'd understand.
20 minutes till phone call time :/