Family makes me feel guilty about being sick

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Depressed Momma
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 11/26/2011 5:00 AM (GMT -6)   
I am dealing with a bout of major depression. My family is less than supportive. They think I should just "get up & do something". I HATE that mentality! Even my own bipolar mother thinks this way! I am really tired of having to feel guilty all the time about being depressed. I just spent a week in the hospital. I thought things might be different. I get this horrible, disappointed vibe from my husband because I still need to take a nap during the day. And I don't want to play with the kids all the time. I wonder if I had cancer, if they would think the same way? It is bad enough, that I am thinking of leaving my husband & moving out. Maybe for right now, the kids are better off living with him. I am not going to get any better constantly being around his negative energy. I always feel like a disappointment. I just can't take it anymore.

Any advice?

Oh yah, and I forgot to add that I am told that I am being selfish when I want to try & get help for myself. - yah.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42430
   Posted 11/26/2011 6:06 AM (GMT -6)   
You aren't being selfish. You are taking care of your needs. Do what you need to do for yourself. If you need a nap take it. Don't let what they say get you down. Bipolar people get mania. Which is an increased energy so they can do a lot when that happens. I know what is said hurts. But try not to let it. Just do what you need to do for yourself and leave it at that. Try not to get angry. That only makes you feel worse. Look at it as they are ignorant to what you are going though. Maybe some literature would help them to understand.

I am glad that you are out of hospital. I hope it helped you. We had another member that just recently wnet and she is feeling better.

I hope that you can feel better soon too.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/26/2011 7:01 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Momma

I could have written that post-lol!!Except the bipolar is my husband..I went to the psych unit for meds change and came home night before T-givinig. The peace lasted for 1 day. It is very hard to get better when you don't have the support of yr family. I am now starting my day with a creative visualization tape to help me center my thoughts9which usually run amok) My family makes me feel guilty and I'm not...we have to fight those negative feelings with all our strngth. If you are doing your very best to get out of the rut, don't let them get you down. That is THEM, not you

I am on cymbalta and seems to help except, like you, very sleepy in afternoon...take a nap, the h*** with them-lol.

I hope things get better..keep posting

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds seroquel hydrocodone magnesium potassium multi vit

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20186
   Posted 11/26/2011 7:15 AM (GMT -6)   
my family just don't give a toss. jamie :/

keep strong. and take care of you. with healing compassion, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Depressed Momma
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 11/26/2011 8:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks everyone. To top it off, my hubby is Bi-polar. with tons of mania. I have educated them, but in one ear out the other. I am on Cybalta. I have been on it for 4 yrs. In the hospital, they increased me to 90 mg. It really helped. It is much easier to feel better when you have a support system at hand. My 6 yr,old daughter gets upset with me when I tell her I don't feel good enough to play. That hurts. But how do I explain that to a child?
Depressed Momma

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/26/2011 9:22 AM (GMT -6)   
My daughter got cheated out of alot, but I did make myself find time for her...could you do reading or board games, coloring..things that do not require physical exertion...My daughter and I read so much together that, now at 15, a trip to the library is a real treat for her...so we can do things that benefit them and lessen ourt guilt

Good luck
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds seroquel hydrocodone magnesium potassium multi vit

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 11/26/2011 11:26 AM (GMT -6)   
I suffer from chronic pain from multiple problems and I also have a 6 year old son. In a way he understands that there are days when I don't feel good and can't do things with him, but at the same time he doesn't understand enough not to be hurt when I have to tell him no on so very many activities.

Even though I have many days that I can barely get up from my chair and go to the bathroom or get myself something to drink I do make an effort to do something with him. On my bad days we often sit together and read or watch a movie together.He also has a bunch of workbooks that my wife and I have picked up to help him learn various things that go along with what he is learning in school and him and I will work on those together.

I learned a few years ago that it isn't what we do together that is important. It is just being together and giving him my attention that matters to him.

Find things to do with your kids. I know it can be difficult and can zap what little energy you do have, but losing yourself for a little while in your kids "world" may help you feel better in the long run.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
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