guidance and advice needed

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struggling with family
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/28/2011 2:58 PM (GMT -6)   
hello all,
 
I'm joining this forum as an attempt or first step in seeking help as i have been suffering intensely with depression for the past year and i'm at breaking point now. the issue is not so much the depression as i still have enough awareness and some strength to realize that it will pass if i work at it and that i can overcome this. the main issue is my family who are clueless and indifferent and at times (i believe) intentionally cruel! this is making it even more difficult for me and i'm sinking even deeper. i'm living at home for the meantime (currently unemployed) and the cruelty in the form of put downs don't stop especially from my father. some friends have been supportive and i try to show them my gratitude but the hurt is intensified and the loneliness emphasized when u become aware that your family just don't care and are only making it worst.
 
depression is a feeling of alienation despite any form of love or support you receive. so imagine if your getting little or no support!
i know what i have to do! start the healing by moving away and getting any job i can get and try to create a healthy environment for myself. however, it feels like trying to stand in slippery mud. every time i try to get up, a comment, accusation or ill treatment just brings me down again.
 
has anyone been there? feeling alienated by family and isolated from life?
 
would appreciate any advice or guidance   

Post Edited (struggling with family) : 11/28/2011 1:01:11 PM (GMT-7)


greenbean885
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 310
   Posted 11/28/2011 3:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to the Forum! I think its very courageous of you to seek help for the way that you feel. You mentioned that you have felt this way progressively for the past year... was there an event that caused these feelings of have they just been ongoing?

Also, have you seen a doctor lately? If not, it may be beneficial to visit one as they can evaluate if you may need some medication. I bet they could even provide you with more resources within the community. It is a shame you do not feel your family understands; have you tried to explain how their actions make you feel at times? They many not be intending to bring you down, or, they may now even realize it is hurting you so badly.

Its a harsh economy out there right now, I'm sorry that you are struggling with work :( Do you think that moving away would help your healing? You know what is best for you. Consider that by moving away, you may be even more isolated. However, like you said, moving away may be what you really need. At one time in my life, I thought moving was a good idea and overall it was, but it did create more struggles.

I love that you are positive you will overcome! That is such a great attitude and I think it will guarantee your success in this process. I think many people can relate with the way that you feel, so don't feel like you are alone!

Hope to hear from you soon,

Greenbean

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/28/2011 3:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Struggling,

And welcome to HealingWell. I am glad that you have joined us.

It sounds like you are going to have to ignore these comments and continue on your search for work. That is about the only option that you have other than calling a family meeting or dragging them all to counseling. That best thing you can do is educate them, that is not impossible. But with education, would it stop?

But you hit the nail on the head talking about a job and a healthy environment. That is what you need. Keep searching... Never give up...

I hope that things get better for you soon and that you can get out of that house.

Are you going to any counseling for yourself? Are you on any meds? Just curious...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 11/28/2011 4:36 PM (GMT -6)   
try to limit interaction with dad, try journaling, music, get out and walk, hang at the library(free)

very very hard to move forward with all that negativity but at least you recognize it for what it is..keep on truckin'....the road is long but it gets ya there

Take care
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica


welbutrin HBP meds seroquel hydrocodone magnesium potassium multi vit

sos007
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 615
   Posted 11/28/2011 5:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Struggling.......I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. It is tough with support even tougher with no support. . ...but you have a great outlook on getting better and you will just keep that outlook. I am going to ask a few questions so we maybe better to help you. Have you seen a doctor for your depression? Are you on any medications?
Have you attended any therapy? I have mild depression that comes with my chronic pain. Was there anything that started you in feeling depressed or have you always felt depressed? For my depression I see a doctor and also take antidepressant and this really helps keep my head above water.

I agree with Maggie try to limit your time with your dad as well with music and walking, the library is a great idea as this is free. Keep us posted this forum can be your family of support. You sound like a smart person.....you can dig yourself out....Good luck and Bless you.

Take care, Amy

Chronic pain (nerve), fibro, and mild depression

struggling with family
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 11/28/2011 5:35 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you all for your reply. really appreciate it. to answer some questions, i have been battling with mild depression from an early age due to childhood trauma (abandoned by mother, middle child syndrome). but its never been this bad. i personally believe it was triggered when i quit smoking earlier this year. depression is a common side effect.

im not on any medication and don't feel its for me. im sure its helpful and i was tempted at one point for some relief. however, i prefer to get through this without medication. i have already booked to see a therapist and i believe joining forums and support groups will also help. so im trying to get the ball rolling.

many thanks

xx

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 11/28/2011 8:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Struggling,

I am glad you are going to see a therapist. That is going to help you a lot. It will give you some direction and a starting point. Keep posting and know that everybody cares.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 11/28/2011 10:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Struggling.  Having severe depression is so hard and I'm sorry your family is literally being unsupportive.
 
I think you got some great advice above about keeping out of the house and away from your father.  If you don't mind I'd like to add to this.  Are you in the US?  I am and have not been able to find a full-time job for a few years now.  I went to Kelly Services (a temping agency) and obtained work that way.  It wasn't always steady but it helped me get back into the work-place with a part-time job.  Also, if you can muster up the energy with the depression it might feel good to get out and volunteer.  I'm finding right now that it makes me feel better when I am helping someone else.  It might help with your self-esteem and who knows, maybe you'll start making some contacts that can help you network for a job.
 
Good luck with the therapy.  And please keep posting here to let us know how you're doing.
 
Cass

sos007
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 615
   Posted 11/28/2011 10:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Dear Struggling with family, good luck with your therapy. I think this will help you get the ball rolling. Keep us posted and let us know how you are doing.

Take care and Bless you
Amy




Chronic pain(nerve), fibro and mild depression
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