Posted 12/3/2011 12:15 PM (GMT -7)
Have any of you wonderful people had an experience with the new drug, Viibryd? I wish I hadn't!
Here's part of my story: Female, 25. Student and Pharmacy tech.
For about a year, my half brother molested me. I was about 6. He was 17. I was told if I told anyone, he would hurt my mother. My older brother (he was 11 and brother from both parents) knew about it but was threatened with the same threat. In my mind, this wasn't a stretch. He didn't like my mom. In his eyes, she was an evil step mom. So, I went years after this acting like everything was normal. Even babysitting his children (whom I know he never sexually abused, honestly). My parents found out as my mom was reading a journal I kept. Yes, she was snooping. But she really enjoyed my poetry and was enjoying it when she flipped to the next page and saw my confession. My OWN flesh and blood molested me. I'm not angry that she was snooping. It was something I had resigned to telling no one at that point. After all, I'd kept it a secret for ten years.
I was in and out of therapy after that. The first year or 2, I saw a wonderful psychologist. She told me how smart, funny and brave I was. And I truly felt that I was going to get through it all. Then Katrina happened. My doctor was in New Orleans. I still haven't found her, though now I'd be beyond her scope since I'm no longer a child (age wise! Lol)
Now, my psychologist is more of a guy who listens then adjusts my medicine and says see you in a few months. I like him, but I need counseling! After losing the other doctor, I regressed. I shut those memories off again.
What made those memories come back? My brother's death. My molester, my monster, but my brother (who throughout this I wasn't sure but when he died I knew) that I still loved. Despite what he'd done, he was my brother. And I had slowly been learning to forgive him before he died but I never got to tell him. We hadn't spoken in 4 years.
I've been on Lexapro, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Prozac, Cymbalta and now I'm on Viibryd. Can we say I feel like I'm bipolar? Yes we can. I am not bipolar and am suffering from "emotional distress." But Viibryd makes me cry when I'm happy, sad, angry, etc. Anyone else have this effect?