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stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 12/6/2011 7:59 AM (GMT -6)   
So yesterday I stayed home from work. Felt too tired when I got up, so I took my son to the bus stop and came back home. My intentions were to do some cleaning. I did get the kitchen clean, even the refrigerator. Afterwards I took a nap then went to pick up the tv my son will be getting for Christmas. All in all I had a good day. One of my friends came over and we were going to get some dinner. We ended up bringing Chinese in. She said that I was down and bringing her down if I didn't get up. I had been on the computer and then just laid down from a second. She said it wasn't that, it is my whole being. I thought that was odd because like I said, I thought I was doing pretty good. I began working in my book recommended by psych and therapist. At the beginning I took depression, anxiety and relationship ratings. the depression and anxiety were still high. I guess feeling better from where I was is still not too good. The psych. did say she hadn't seen anyone quite so bad in a while. Lucky me.

That brings me to today. I feel worse than ever. Very teary driving to work. There were several times that I thought I should turn around and go home. Even no at my desk, I am on the verge of tears and will probably get up from here and go have a moment. My hands are trembling, my stomach feels nervous, I am so weak.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Saphire380
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 12/6/2011 9:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Stillme,
 
I am new to this board, but I do know where you are right now. I am in the same place. I feel every day I am doing well to keep a smile on my face, but yet noone wants to be around me. I know I am sad and I cry too often. I just tell myself it is mostly just the pain is so near the surface that I cannot bear it. I am not sure if I am depressed, but I am sure everyone else is sure I am depressed.
 
If you want someone to talk to, I can be here.

Saphire380, 36, F, Chronic Pain / Fibromyalgia / herniated disks

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 12/6/2011 9:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome Meghan and what a thoughtful post
It is hard to wear that facade and sometimes the tears just bust thru...my sister said tears are a gift, which is true...we'd all blow up if we could not vent thru crying

I'm sorry stillme that you are having some bad times but it sounds like some good moments shining thru..I always pray they will outweigh my bad moments

Take care to both

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/6/2011 10:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Stillme,

If you thought you were doing better, you probably are. Don't listen to what everybody else says. Know in your heart that you are trying and doing better, maybe they didn't see you at your worst.

Don't let this get you down, keep pushing forward. We are here for you.

Saphire,

Welcome to the forum. It was nice of you to post to stillme. I think you are going to like it here. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen

Still getting the coffee in me this morning. Slept late. lol...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/6/2011 11:14 AM (GMT -6)   
yes welcome. hugs stillme.


(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

jamie.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 12/6/2011 12:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank u all. Saphire welcome and thanks. I really do need to talk.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/6/2011 1:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Saphire,

You shouldn't post your email on the open forum. Put it in your profile so only members can see it. This will get you a bunch of spam or some not so safe emailers. I am going to leave it for a little while for Stillme to get, but I am going to edit it in awhile for your safety.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Saphire380
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 12/6/2011 1:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry about that. I am still not sure how all this forum stuff works. You can go ahead and edit it. If stillme did not get it we will have to figure out a private message. Thank you Karen.
Saphire380, 36, F, Chronic Pain / Fibromyalgia / herniated disks

stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 12/6/2011 1:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks saphire. Edit it out karen.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/6/2011 2:25 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't see the post anymore so you must have removed it. Go to your profile, you can do that by clicking on your own name at the side of your post. There will be a place to edit. You can add your email addy to that. If I think of a better way I will post it. Stillme, I hope you got that address. I know you need somebody to talk to. My email addy is in my profile. You can contact me anytime when you need to talk.

I hope you both are having a great day. I don't know if I welcomed you Saphire, but welcome to the forum. You sound like a good person.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Saphire380
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 12/6/2011 7:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Karen. I did find the delete button.
Saphire380, 36, F, Chronic Pain / Fibromyalgia / herniated disks

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/6/2011 10:02 PM (GMT -6)   
you are welcome.

It doesn't take that long to find your way around here. This seems like one of the easier forums to me. But I have been her a few years too. And I am still learning things.

I hope that you have a good night. I hope you and stillme get to be good friends through email. I have made a few. From all over the world too. Pretty cool...

Hugs, Karen
 
I amost forgot, at the top of the page you will see a box that says "my profile".  Click on that and it will take you to a place where you can add your email address if you want to.  You can make a signature and stuff like that.  It is on the second blue bar down, on the left side.  I hope that this helps.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 12/6/2011 8:06:36 PM (GMT-7)


stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 12/6/2011 10:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Good Evening all,

This evening turned out to be a little better. I went with a couple of friends to eat at Friendly's. It was good. My friends grandmother passed so we went there for a little cheer up. Hope tomorrow is better than today. My psych dr told me to take half of an Ativan in the morning. I am a little afraid to do this, because it does relax me and I go to sleep in about an hour. Can't go to sleep on the job, so I didn't take it. Then I felt so bad today I wish that I had. I will try it tomorrow and just take off if I start to feel too tired. Another problem is that I have to drive alot while at work. I teach students in their homes or at the hospital and have to drive all around from one to the other. Can't be all loopy while I am driving. Hmmm, not too sure.

Saphire I sent you an email.

Hugs to all. Wishing us all better days ahead.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/6/2011 11:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Hopefully a half of one will just relax you.

Good luck,

Hugs, Karen

Going to bed, so tired...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Saphire380
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 12/7/2011 9:43 AM (GMT -6)   
I sometimes take my meds in stages. If the doc says to me to take half, I might actually take a quarter and then the other quarter two hours later. This is what I sometimes do if I am worried the affect on me will be to harsh during the day.
Saphire380, 36, F, Chronic Pain / Fibromyalgia / herniated disks

Saphire380
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 12/7/2011 9:45 AM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry about your friends loss, but time with friends is so often wonderful, even if for sad circumstances. I am glad your day did improve.
Saphire380, 36, F, Chronic Pain / Fibromyalgia / herniated disks

stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 12/7/2011 8:58 PM (GMT -6)   
I am going to try a quater of a pill and see how that works. The lithium has my hands trembling. So its pretty tedious tryimg to use my phone to post. Lol

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/7/2011 9:47 PM (GMT -6)   
I am sorry about the side effects of the lithium. I hope that they go away. I hope that things stabilize and that you feel better. Take care Stillme. Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/8/2011 5:21 AM (GMT -6)   
here for you, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 12/8/2011 6:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you. Jamiee how are you?

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 12/8/2011 8:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey stillme

I posted an answer and forgot the submit button-lol Anyway, I am just checking in and wishing you brighter days ahead

Keep us posted
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 12/9/2011 10:06 PM (GMT -6)   
Another hard day. Thought I may have had to go to the hospital. Just let them give me something to sleep. I want to sleep all day but I have a lot to do. It's coming along though.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/9/2011 11:02 PM (GMT -6)   
I am glad that it is coming along for you. One step at a time. You will get there. You are trying and that is what counts. This is probably just a bump in the road. You should be passing it soon.

Take care,

Have a good night.

Gentle hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/9/2011 11:03 PM (GMT -6)   
same stillme need something to sleep. jamie. no wonder my brain is mash. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 12/11/2011 4:50 PM (GMT -6)   
So my ex and I had a couple of text conversations. I was feeling extra bad last week as you know. The last was Frisay night. Well last night was the first time since June that I didn't cry. I was on the verge but I wouldn't let it come. Today, a few tears so far.

I went to church and thought I was going to have to leave because the tears were very hard to hold back. I also felt a little anxious on the way????not to sure about that.

Just wanted to let you know that there was a glimmer of light in this raging storm.
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