Posted 12/8/2011 9:48 AM (GMT -7)
Hi, Display here.
Well I have gone for about 2 weeks without feeling depressed. This morning the depression was back, with a vengeance. I had a very hard time getting out of bed. Only because I have been told, just do the next thing, was I able to shower, eat and get dressed. In an hour or so, I will go to my weekly therapy/counseling appointment, where hopefully I can talk about what's going on.
As some of you know, I am currently job hunting, and that is not helping the depression. I am at a stage where I have done a lot as far as job hunting, so many days it is just maintenance. This leaves me with free time, I have not been doing so well at filling the free time. Mostly sleeping a lot and definitely ruminating, which is not good.
My fears/anxieties have to do with going back to work, and also, worrying about next year, when I have to make a decision about moving out of this apartment.
The fear about going back to work is ... will I be able to get up and dress, etc, and get to work, 5 days a week. I know I have done this OK in the past, but lately I seem to have a big fear about my capability of doing this in the future.
The apartment thing is very confusing. My lease is up at the end of March, and the apartment people want 60 days notice before moving. It will probably be best for me to move to someplace cheaper, but I dread that.
Of course, hanging over the whole thing is the question of whether I will find another job.
Wow. I had no idea all this stuff was going around in my head.
Thanks for listening.
depression and anxiety
cymbalta, lamotrigine, zyprexa