Rough Day Today

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older guy
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 972
   Posted 12/8/2011 11:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Display here.

Well I have gone for about 2 weeks without feeling depressed. This morning the depression was back, with a vengeance. I had a very hard time getting out of bed. Only because I have been told, just do the next thing, was I able to shower, eat and get dressed. In an hour or so, I will go to my weekly therapy/counseling appointment, where hopefully I can talk about what's going on.

As some of you know, I am currently job hunting, and that is not helping the depression. I am at a stage where I have done a lot as far as job hunting, so many days it is just maintenance. This leaves me with free time, I have not been doing so well at filling the free time. Mostly sleeping a lot and definitely ruminating, which is not good.

My fears/anxieties have to do with going back to work, and also, worrying about next year, when I have to make a decision about moving out of this apartment.

The fear about going back to work is ... will I be able to get up and dress, etc, and get to work, 5 days a week. I know I have done this OK in the past, but lately I seem to have a big fear about my capability of doing this in the future.

The apartment thing is very confusing. My lease is up at the end of March, and the apartment people want 60 days notice before moving. It will probably be best for me to move to someplace cheaper, but I dread that.

Of course, hanging over the whole thing is the question of whether I will find another job.

Wow. I had no idea all this stuff was going around in my head.

Thanks for listening.

depression and anxiety
cymbalta, lamotrigine, zyprexa

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42613
   Posted 12/8/2011 1:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Display,

I think when we have a job to go to, we get more motivation. I think you will be able to handle it. You will have a purpose to get up in the morning, especially if you find a job that you really like. The depression is what makes us so fatigued. And unmotivated. Have you thought about doing some volunteer work until you find a job? That might give you something to look forward to, and could eventually land you a job. Maybe at a local hospital or a nursing home. Something to help you feel needed.

I am glad that you are seeing your counselor. Do let us know how that goes.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

older guy
Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 972
   Posted 12/8/2011 2:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for your reply, Karen.

I'm doing much better after therapy. We pretty much covered everything, all of my depressed mood and thinking. I have an assignment for next week, which is to figure out which kinds of negative thinking I am most prone to.

She also made the point that we are creatures of habit, and that I will probably fit into a work routine just fine. Which is true - I've worked most of the time for the last 30+ years!

And we also talked about the apartment thing. Didn't really decide anything, but it helped me just to talk out my feelings.

Thanks again!

depression and anxiety
cymbalta, lamotrigine, zyprexa

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20282
   Posted 12/9/2011 4:08 AM (GMT -6)   
sending healing compassionate vibes to you display. hoping you feel much better real soon. take care of you. keep posting ok. jamie



Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 12/9/2011 6:54 AM (GMT -6)   
I, too, also feel better after therapy session, just verbalizing it sems to take some of the fear away

You will do fine at a job, you are an intelligent caring person and life WILL get better display

Keep us posted
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

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