Can't take any more creditor calls and demand notices by mail and e-mail

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CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 12/8/2011 10:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Guys.  I'm so sorry.  But I'm going to do it.  Yes, I'm going to whine.  Big Time!  So here is your chance to stop reading and run.
 
Okay..it is December.  I'm getting demand notices from 4-5 creditors (I've been robbing Peter to pay Paul for awhile).  I'm already working 2 part time jobs.  I can't seem to get more than 28 hours of work a week.  Everyone is playing "conservative" with the economy and won't hire full time.  I'm willing/able/ready to work hard.  But I don't know how I'm going to even meet the basic bills this month.  Never mind Christmas presents for my girls (even 1 or 2 each).
 
I'm not trying to cheat the system.  But I'm tired of begging for work and not being able to fully use the 2 degrees that I have.  And I have to start dealing with and calling these creditors back.  How do you explain to someone (with clear understanding) on the other side that there is simply no more money?  I have no more cash to even set up a payment plan.  It's already accounted for on other payment plans.  I haven't run up bills on extravegances.  It's heating oil, town automobile tax, electricity, etc.
 
I know I need to really hit the employment ads harder.  But I feel kind of beat down.  I just don't know how to handle this anymore.
 
Cass
 
PS: This is why I have become so quiet lately.  My depression is starting to hit back harder and the anxiety has been building up.

Post Edited (CassandraLee) : 12/8/2011 8:34:35 PM (GMT-7)


Alaskah
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2011
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 12/8/2011 11:53 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Take it one step at a time. Don't let it all overwhelm you at once. Focus on good job ads and start calling. Then learn a bit about each company to prepare for interviews. Don't let the weight of the creditors cloud the job hunting process. If we break things down into simple, do-able steps, we find they aren't so difficult to get through and we'll find more success.

Employment ads aren't the only place to look. Start talking to people when you are out grocery shopping, or at the bank. See if they know of any place hiring that you may not have considered. Networking is just as valuable in the job hunt, so get yourself out there. Even just doing some volunteer work (if you have time between jobs) can open up opportunities to learn about jobs through other people.

If you are unable to buy gifts for your girls, just try to plan out some fun bonding activities. It can still be a positive, memorable Christmas without presents under the tree. Telling stories and laughing together will be a great stress reliever.

I do hope you have some luck finding suitable jobs that can provide more than your basic necessities. It is certainly a difficult time of the year, but everyone is feeling it so don't let your self feel like you're letting your girls or yourself down. You're doing as much as you can.

"Life's journey is like driving at night in the fog.
You can only see as far as your headlights,
but you can make the whole trip that way."


Chronic Lyme, Depression, Anxiety, 12+ Years

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/9/2011 12:00 AM (GMT -6)   
i hear ya cass. sending many postive vibes your way. sorry about the depression / anxiety biting. i know you are trying real hard. been robbing to pay peter from paul 2. it sux. with much healing compassion to you cass, jamie.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 12/9/2011 7:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Cass
We are in the same boat, I have a daughter and a granddaughter and am freaking out about christman..she knows we are broke, but you still want something under the tree. Just wrap some stocking stuffers and wrap up a card promising something fun when times get better(movies and dinner or s/t like that)

I have creidots too calling and I hate to say it but I just turn off the phone-the stress of the bills and them reminding me is too much for my depression and I can't evenpay them each $5 a month...we pay the basics, buy food and gas and there is none left...end of the month is bad but we go to food pantry ...see if there are food banks around, lots of charities will help with electric bill or gas, sign kids up for angel tree Toys for Tots all those programs..you are working hard and trying, that is what charities are for...

I hope times get better soon and I hope you have a Merry Christmas...explain to your girls, they will be very understanding.

Take care

Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/9/2011 9:04 AM (GMT -6)   
I had huge credit card bills when I got sick with fibromyalgia. I settled with two of them. I got an attorney who did mainly bankruptcies. I couldn't do that because I owned my home and was in fear of it being taken away.

about three of the credit cards I never paid back and they quit bothering me. I got a letter from one about two months ago, but my seven years is up and they can't come back on me. They have losses every day and make money off of that. But my attorney told me not to talk to them. If you even mention making small payments they can sue you for that. I don't know your complete situation, but you might want to talk to an attorney and see where you sit with this. If this is a huge debt, you may be able to settle for 25 cents on a dollar. Pay it off at once.

I agree with Maggie, there are many bthings you can do on Christmas that doesn't cost a lot of money. But I know it is for children and that is hard when finances are low. I wish you the best.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Red_34
Elite Member


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23551
   Posted 12/9/2011 9:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh boy, can I understand! I was in your shoes once and that is a path I never want to go down again. There was a point that I had to file bankruptcy but I chose Chapter 13 over 7 because it leaves less of a mark on your record. It's like admitting failure to not be able to pay back the money that is owed. It can get you into a funk (depression) that is for sure. We had so little money that I had to resort to buying things at the dollar store for kids, but you know what? They thought that was the coolest Christmas ever! So I strongly believe, it's not about what you get for Christmas, it just the fact that you are TOGETHER that makes a Christmas special.

I don't know how old your kids are but if they are younger, I'm sure just a little something (even from the dollar store) should be good but if they're older, than they will probably understand.
SHERRY
Moderator-Allergies/Asthma and Alzheimer's, Co-moderator-UC
Diagnosed Left sided UC in '92 - meds: 6mp, Colazal, Remicade and Bentyl*Unable to tolerate ALL mesalamines*, in '11 diagnosed with IBS, Diverticulosis, Fibromylagia..I also have Sacroiilitis, Scoliosis, Raynauds, OA, PA, Rosacea, Psoriasis, Dry Eye and allergies controlled by Zyrtec and Singular

Post Edited (Red_34) : 12/9/2011 8:45:54 AM (GMT-7)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/9/2011 10:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for your post Sherry,

There are many options and things that you can do to keep your holiday budget down... I hope that this works out for you and that you have a Merry Christmas with your children...
 
Cass, I hope things are getting better for you.  I know how it feels.  I have been there...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

It's Genetic
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 12/9/2011 4:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Cass, there has to be somebody out there who counsels on financial management who can help you without throwing you into bankruptcy.

Please check your telephone directory and meet with someone.
There's no need for you to be pressured to death over something that
can be worked out.

Take care.

I.G.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/9/2011 4:55 PM (GMT -6)   
You can't let their threats get to you especially now Cass. Their threats mean nothing at this point. But if they take you to court, which happened to me, you just do the best you can and be honest. You can't get blood out of a turnip so to speak... Try not to let it bother you until after the holidays. I hate credit card companies. They want you to get in debt. Then they try to sock it to you, but they dont' always get away with that. I just want you to have a mery Christmas with your children.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 12/10/2011 5:07 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Everyone.  Thank you very much for taking the time to reply.  The last 2 weeks in particular have been very emotional for me.  I know this sounds weird but it is just hitting me now (i.e. the full effect) of leaving my home and starting over again here.  I do feel very much like a failure right now (like Sherry said) as I'm not really providing for my children.  If it wasn't for their child support we wouldn't even have a roof over our heads right now and that makes me feel so useless.
 
Bankruptcy will be inevitable, but again I can't go into real details here in the online environment.  Right now, I have my oil company (from my house) telling me that if I don't contact them in 3 more days they are moving to the next stage of their process.  I'm assuming that means an attorney.
 
Karen: I was going to do what you told me not to do.  I was planning on calling them and making very small payments (if they would even accept that).  I'm just so confused right now.
 
I was at church today helping out with their craft sale.  Someone mentioned to my minister that I was going through a rough time.  She took me aside and talked to me for about 45 mts.  She is going to buy my 12 year old one Christmas present that I was trying to figure out how to afford and one for my 16 year old too.  (I just wanted to cry at that point-came close).
 
This is just so tough.  But I know that I am far from the only one going through it and I am thankful for the roof that we do have over our heads and know that I did make the best decision possible leaving our home.  However, it just hurts and is overwhelming at the moment.
 
Thank you all for your friendship and concern.  I know I need to start contributing to the forums again...and once I force myself to start feeling a little bit better again, I will.
 
Cass

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/10/2011 8:00 PM (GMT -6)   
I just wouldn't talk to them right now. They might get you to commit to something. You can get those credit card bills down to half if you can find the right attorney to help you. But your credit rating is going to be bad. Mine was for seven years. I waited some of them out. Now it is too late for them to collect. It is just a tax write off for them. It kind of depends on how much debt you have. Can you make it without the credit cards? Or with just one? I only have one credit card now and the limit is only 300.00. I use it for emergencies only. And I haven't had one in years. But it nice to have just incase.

I settled two or three of my cards with the attorney's help. And one I battled on my own. It wasn't even worth it to them to show up to court. So I didn't have to pay the money back. Just don't let them harrass you. They will try. Enjoy the holidays and then face it afterwards. They will probably try to scare you too. Don't let them. Just ignore them for now.

I hope that this helps some. They are preying on people, they want them to be in debt. The attorney threw my bills in the trash. I got them back out. I felt so bad that I coudln't pay them anymore. He told me not to, not to talk to them. Do you have caller ID so that you know when it is them calling? Can you block their calls? I would do that for now. That is if you feel comfortable with it. Just to get a break from their harrassing you.

I hope that things get better. Try to focus on the good for now. Forget the other for awhile if you can.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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