I am truly sorry for all your losses and trust me I do understand completely. Remember nobody can take away your own self respect so hold you chin up high and deal with it one day at a time.
It may feel like you have nothing good in your life right now but perhaps if you make a list of all the good things that happened over the years mentioned you may find out the list is longer then what you have posted.
For instance, in 2009, you lost a friend to lung cancer however look at the comfort and caring, the friendship you gave to this person because you are a good person. Having had the opportunity to help this person was a blessing bestowed upon you. You were lucky to call each other friend.
In 2009 I lost my sister to ovarian cancer after a 10 month fight and I miss her so much but I am also thankful that I was chosen to be one of her 2 primary care givers at the Hope Cancer Lodge as well as be there at the bedside throughout her hundreds of days spent in the hospital. The very same month I lost my brother so they are both gone but I was lucky to have them in my lives even thow I shed tears I remember the good times we shared. And I lost my oldest sister in 2008 so all my siblings are gone.
I cannot go into detail here but in 1990 our 21 year old son died in a car crash................I will never get over his death but I still try to remember all the love and fun we shared as a family.
I do understand the feeling of wanting to dig that hole but it is not the answer. Let us help you.
Moderator: Anxiety, Osteoarthritis,
GERD/Heartburn and Heart/Cardiovascular Disease.
"only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be"