i just don't know anymore!!

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theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/12/2011 4:58 AM (GMT -6)   
I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING, I FEEL DESTRUCTIVE. I FEEL ANGRY.................I FEEL LIKE CRYING, I AM TIRED. I AM IN MENTAL PAIN. I AM USELESS AT THIS TIME, INEPT AND LOST.
 
cry   cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry
shakehead   shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead shakehead
confused   confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused confused
mad   mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad mad
 
~JAMIE
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

daisy76
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 218
   Posted 12/12/2011 6:15 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm so sorry that you're going through this Jamie :(
It's more than understandable that you feel this way.
Is it possible to see your Dr sooner than the 16th??
Sending you many wishes for restful sleep and to feel better.
Amber

"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful." -Barbara Bloom

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/12/2011 6:20 AM (GMT -6)   
thank you Amber.

no can't see him sooner, bugger!! thx for the kind wishes. sorry just lost it a bit today.

~jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

daisy76
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 218
   Posted 12/12/2011 6:32 AM (GMT -6)   
No need to appologize, I understand completely.
Hang in there, just a few more days!!
Amber

"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful." -Barbara Bloom

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/12/2011 6:50 AM (GMT -6)   
yeah will do. thank you. jamie :-)
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 12/12/2011 7:07 AM (GMT -6)   
I hate it for you and I hate that I can'thelp youmore...justknow that I am here for the long haul friend

Crank up the toons and dance like a dervish-get some anger out
'

Love yo lots
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/12/2011 7:18 AM (GMT -6)   
thx maggie. my long haul friend. :-)

love ya. jamie. ps going to try and lay down.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 12/12/2011 7:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Jamie:  I realize that you always know when to ask for help, but it is so hard seeing that you are in such pain.  Please don't be upset with me for asking, but would going to the hospital help you any at all?  It sounds like you really need the extra help and support right now.
 
Again, its just a thought as I care about your well-being.
 
Cass

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/12/2011 7:45 AM (GMT -6)   
will see how i am in the morning. has crossed my mind a lot., thx cass 4 your care. valid point.

love, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

tmjpain
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2024
   Posted 12/12/2011 12:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Hope you are able to get some rest Jamie. It's ok to scream and cry. I have done that too. I have gone in the shower and balled my eyes out.
I hope you can have a better afternoon.
One hour at a time. i know it's tough.

Keep the faith.
Suzane

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/12/2011 5:38 PM (GMT -6)   
cheers suzane, love, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

stillme
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2011
Total Posts : 556
   Posted 12/12/2011 5:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh my goodness Jamiee, I feel the EXACT same way. I have been holding back the tears so much that it hurts. I have this nervous pain in my stomach. I looked up nervous break down to see if I had those symptoms. I don't know if any of you watch XFactor, but 13 year old Rachel Crowe was eliminated. Well she fell to the floor and cried almost screaming. That's what I want to do. I thought about contacting the psych but I see her and the therapist on the 17th.

Anxious about that because I wanted to show improvement. Another reason I didn't call is I thought what if she says hospital, then I have to explain all of this to my family.

Jamiee let's hold tight. I will try not to squeeze you too tight. I just don't want to fall off and you have proven to be very strong.(((((((((Jaimee))))))))

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 12/12/2011 7:12 PM (GMT -6)   
I hope that both of you can hang in there. It is so hard, especially this time of year. I am glad both of you come here for support. I know that you both will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight. Take care... Hang on, just a little bit longer!!!

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/13/2011 12:54 AM (GMT -6)   
i fully understand stillme. got ya in my arms too my friend. love 2 ya. jamie.

hold'n on karen. just. thx ever so much. luv 2 ya, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 12/13/2011 7:46 AM (GMT -6)   
hi jamie

how are ya doing? today? I find myself in a similar place-full of rage and sadness. I know God put me here for a reason bi=ut I'll be darned if I can figure out why...useless, exhausted tired of fighting, life my husband, my finances..

keep fighting and I will too

Love to you
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/13/2011 6:47 PM (GMT -6)   
I HEAR YA SWEETIE. GOT A HOLD OF YOU TOO. TOGETHER WE ARE STRONG!!!!
KEEP FIGHTING MAGGIE, SOON IT IS TIME 4 ATTACK!!!!

LOVE 2 YA, JAMIE
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/15/2011 1:16 AM (GMT -6)   
i don't know.................................................i am pissed off. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

kelsrox
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 108
   Posted 12/15/2011 1:31 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm so sorry Jamie. I wish there was something I could do to heal your pain and anger. Do your best and I am here for you as well!
Kelsey; 25 year old lady suffering from a slew: Depression, Anxiety, Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), etc.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/15/2011 1:40 AM (GMT -6)   
thx kelsey!! cheers, jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

manyembers
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 12/15/2011 6:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Feeling pissed off is kinda expected when there is so much to deal with and it feels so unfair and difficult. I used to punch my pillow to get the emotion out. It worked well. I should do that again; I just stuff things lately, but mostly because I need to have self control. anyway, a bit of a ramble, but if you have a pillow, give it a try.

Like others here, I hate that you are suffering like this. But I know how strong you are and I know God is keeping you. You are an inspiration to everyone who has the privilege of seeing a little of your journey here. So all that you go through has served to show off your vast inner strength and compassionate heart. keep believing in yourself.

take good care of you, embers

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 12/15/2011 9:22 AM (GMT -6)   
You are a like a rock for us here Jamie, we have learned so much from you about perserverance and strength...

I love you friend...puch away at that pillow

maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/15/2011 7:04 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you embers,

thank you maggie. love you guys. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/16/2011 12:24 AM (GMT -6)   
just playing some music after seeing the professor. head is chaotic. jamie
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 12/16/2011 7:03 AM (GMT -6)   
What I want to know (about brain) is WHERE IS THE OFF SWITCH????!!!!! I lost my manual-lol

Love ya
Maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 12/16/2011 9:51 AM (GMT -6)   
good one!!!!!!!!!! turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.
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