So I have been suffering from depression for a long time. It has affected school, jobs, relationships, you name it. I had an girlfriend i was with for 3 years and we broke up a couple months ago. She called me a couple weeks ago crying saying she missed me and we started talking. She gave me the whole "i love you and need you" thing and then out of nowhere just stopped calling me, no fights, nothing. I have always battled with chronic depression but i have never had anything hit me so hard in my life. I have felt almost suicidal and it is the worst usually around the time that i wake up, i just feel i don't want to get out of bed anymore. The love of my life won't contact me, offers no closure, and seems like she wants nothing to do with me. I have caught interest from other women but i just don't feel the drive anymore. Recently my doctor put me on a prescript
ion for abilify but i feel like a zombie on it, lifeless, not talkative, it sucks the life right out of me so i stopped taking it. This is not just about
a girl because any time something like this happens it sets me back and it is impossible to progress. I have dealt with a lot of abuse as a child, physical and mental and am NOT on good terms with my parents, talk therapy does nothing for me, i feel like i have nobody and am going no where, i am definetly not happy in my situation. All of my potential went to waste. Sorry for the rambling but that's how my mind is feeling. Mixed up. Any advice? I need to be saved from myself.