Is this all there is?

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jstellz88
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/17/2011 12:51 AM (GMT -6)   
So I have been suffering from depression for a long time. It has affected school, jobs, relationships, you name it. I had an girlfriend i was with for 3 years and we broke up a couple months ago. She called me a couple weeks ago crying saying she missed me and we started talking. She gave me the whole "i love you and need you" thing and then out of nowhere just stopped calling me, no fights, nothing. I have always battled with chronic depression but i have never had anything hit me so hard in my life. I have felt almost suicidal and it is the worst usually around the time that i wake up, i just feel i don't want to get out of bed anymore. The love of my life won't contact me, offers no closure, and seems like she wants nothing to do with me. I have caught interest from other women but i just don't feel the drive anymore. Recently my doctor put me on a prescription for abilify but i feel like a zombie on it, lifeless, not talkative, it sucks the life right out of me so i stopped taking it. This is not just about a girl because any time something like this happens it sets me back and it is impossible to progress. I have dealt with a lot of abuse as a child, physical and mental and am NOT on good terms with my parents, talk therapy does nothing for me, i feel like i have nobody and am going no where, i am definetly not happy in my situation. All of my potential went to waste. Sorry for the rambling but that's how my mind is feeling. Mixed up. Any advice? I need to be saved from myself. confused

bayoub2
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 12/17/2011 4:45 AM (GMT -6)   
welcome to the forum and sorry for your woes

Middle of night so will check back in later...just wanted to know someone was out here

maggie
"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

cymbalta seroquel hydrocodone klonopin magnesium potassium

Jim1969
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 2042
   Posted 12/17/2011 6:57 AM (GMT -6)   
It takes time to heal, and there is no time table that says someone will heal or even improve in "X" amount of days or weeks, etc.

As far as medication goes, most depression meds will take a couple of months at least to really start working and for the side effects to stabilize. If the side effects are too bothersome a person really should contact their prescribing doctor and discuss it with them instead of just quitting the medication. Many meds can be dangerous if stopped cold turkey.

Since you have already stopped taking the Abilify I do not recommend starting it again at this time. What I do think you need to do is contact your doctor and talk to him/her about the issues you were having on it. Your doctor may then want either try you on a different medication or try the Abilify again at a lower dose if possible.

When you say counseling did not work for you I am wondering how long did you give it a go and was it with the same counselor?

Counseling is not a quick fix solution. It is a long process and a worthy one, but one that will only work if the patient is truly ready for it and works at it. One other important factor is the success of counseling is "clicking" with your counselor. We all have certain personality types that we are drawn to and are able to more easily open up to, and if you feel you can't connect with a certain counselor there is not shame in telling them that and asking to be hooked up with someone else. Also there are many forms of counseling ranging from the traditional talking things out to other less traditional that combine talking with something else like keeping a journal, art therapy, exercise therapy, and many others.

Find a counselor and let them know how you feel about traditional talk therapies and let them help you find the right kind of therapy or therapies for you.
2 confirmed herniated lumbar discs. Spinal Arthritis. Spinal Stenosis, diabetic peripheral nueropathy.
Moderator Depression Forum.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/17/2011 8:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jstell,

Welcome to the depression forum. I agree with Jim, you should try talk therapy again. Go back to the doctor and get the right meds. You can't give up so quickly. Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right meds, kind of a trial and error thing. The same with counseling. You have to find the right match for you.

So please don't give up on everything quite yet. I take abilify with pristiq and it woks wonders for me. Maybe you need an antidepressant to go with it.

As I said, don't give up. Keep posting here too. It does help...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

jstellz88
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/17/2011 10:24 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks guys. Maybe i am just having the same reaction to meds and counseling as i am to life, wanting to give up too easily when it gets a bit. To answer your question Jim, i have been seeing the same counselor for about 8 week. I am just not getting anything out of it. I learned some useful breathing excersizes and coping methods but i just do not feel the relationship is there and i have a hard time opening up, maybe it is just me. I deal with anxiety and that limits me from opening up to people. Another problem is that's where i get my klonopin also and i'm scared that if i switch i will be cut off...

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/17/2011 11:32 AM (GMT -6)   
Eight weeks isn't really that long to go to one counselor. Maybe if you told them what you are telling us, it would help. And if you switch counselors, I doubt that they would change your meds if that is what is working for you. Take it one day at a time. That really helps in life.

Coming here is even a big step, and a positive one. We will help you through this the best that we can. So there is hope. Just talking to somebody helps.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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