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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 12/18/2011 8:07 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel like I never truly connect with others. I feel like those around me don't truly understand whats going on in my head, or the things that I find important, not only within myself but within this world in general.
I feel so disconnected to the people I am surrounded by, and I can't help but feel like I need to iscolate myself and hide out. I feel like everywhere I go, everyone I see, they are constantly judging me, trying to 1UP me. Not even just me, I feel like everyone around me is trying to 1UP eachother.
Yet, at the same time I have the urges to do something with my life, to finish these last set of courses and to build a foundation to start my life over. One of the strongest feelings I have right now is to connect with someone without judgment...
In my family, it isn't normal to drop out of highschool or move out before marriage. So even by my family I feel constantly judged, and looked down upon. Through the bad relationship I have had with my step-dad and his family, I always feel like I will never be good enough. Whats even more strange is I never felt like I was completely accepted by my cousins and other family members; for some reason I had always felt left out. And it makes me sad more than anything. When my father passed most of my cousins from my mother's side of the family didn't even call me let alone ask me if I was okay. It hurt.
I've made an appoinment for next week to meet with a councelor, which I'm not sure about. Sometimes I feel extremely happy, and then the next day I feel extrememly sad; I just wish that I could plan to have a more difficult day when I do go in for the session, that way I won't hold anything back. Other than that, I have been forcing myself to finish the homework I have, which is ironically in my Psychology class. I've also been thinking about taking an apprenticeship in tile setting, and getting back on my feet financially.
Anyways, this was all very random, but I needed to write this out somewhere..

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 12/18/2011 9:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, Anm-8, and welcome to the Depressin Forum,

Counselling is the best and quickest way to get started on a new life for yourself, regardless of how cousins, step-fathers, or others may feel or think. You owe it to yourself to take care of you first, and you are doing exactly the right thing.

Once you have a diagnosis for the unusual thinking about people out there and are properly diagnosed and medically treated, you should begin to feel better as soon as the medications take effect.

Until then, try to take each day one at a time and look for the days in the immediate future when you will definitely feel better.

If you are drinking coffee, tea, eating chocolate, or using alcohol, please stop the use of them right away. They all are capable of making depression worse. Drink water and plenty of it.

Take care and have a calm, quiet Christmas.

Best wishes,

It's Genetic.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 12/18/2011 10:25 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi anm_8,

I use to feel a lot like you when I was younger. And I could be a hermit a lot of the time. Know that we are all different in our own ways, yet there are a lot of people that feel similar to the way that you do. So you aren't alone at all in the way that you feel.

I am glad that you are going to be seeking counseling. I think you will find it very helpful. Why don't you write down all the things that have been going on in the last couple of months so that you don't forget to tell them anything. If you are feeling good, often you forget the bad and don't mention these things. So write it down on paper.

I hope that you start feeling better soon. Keep posting and know that everybody cares.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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