I feel very sad all the time...

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2011
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 12/18/2011 9:39 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel very sad all the time...every once in awhile i will actually feel happy for a few hours a day but it usually goes away once I start thinking of my life. I'm very confused because I don't know if I have depression or my boyfriend and I have a bad relationship that makes me feel down all the time. When I hang out out with my family or go to work I usually feel fine and extremely happy. I don't know if its because I feel better to get away from my relationship sometimes or because I'm just masking my emotions for other people because I don't want to be judged and have them all asking whats wrong with me. Im always so confused as to why I feel this way. My boyfriend and I argue alot because I'm always so negative and down. I only feel this way towards him. I dont know if its because we have been together for over 5 years and I only show him the bad side of me or what. My boyfriend does have anger. He doesnt hit me or anything but he does say really meanful things to me that really hurt me. And I cant let go of all the meanful things hes said to me. I feel that we can be good for eachother but theirs so many problems holding us both back. Ive tried talking to him about it and he just says he cant help it because he has anger problems and is bi polar. I know there is a good side to us both. Im just trying to figure out if the problem is him or if im depressed. I dont want to ruin something that could be good down the rode because we let the worst sides of us show. So Im just wanting to know if someone can please help me... I've been dealing with this now for about 4 years and its driving me insane. I know it may sound confusing what i wrote but i cant quite understand it myself.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 12/18/2011 8:09:02 PM (GMT-7)

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 12/18/2011 9:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, Brianneb, and welcome to the Depression Forum,

You have some heavy problems to deal with, no question about it. Why not try to see a psychiatrist to find out what is happening with you and the depression? Perhaps a diagnosis and medication might make you feel better.

Secondly, you need to talk with a therapist about your boyfriend's bipolar illness. You don't mention what kind he has, whether it's bipolar I or bipolar II. There are significant differences between the two, and both he and you need to know so that he may get on proper medication to relieve the negative release of the illness and look for happier days.

Major decisions about whether to marry someone who has bipolar illness and is reluctant to get medical care might leave you in a very vulnerable position as his wife, because the illness does not get better without treatment. In fact, it gets worse. So it's really imperative for your own health that you know all your doctors and your research into bipolar illness reveal to you about the condition called Bipolar Illness.

There are many happy marriages between bipolar couples who seek treatment and know how to care for themselves, not so many for marriages in which one or both partners have the illness and are unwilling to do anything about trying to heal.

Please get the help you need and encourage the young man to get the help he needs now so that you both may know what you are dealing with.

You will understand it all soon if you seek the help you need.

Have a good Christmas and keep in touch as you need to discuss your situation.

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 12/18/2011 8:01:01 PM (GMT-7)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 12/18/2011 10:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Brianneb,

I have given your thread a title as it will get more responses that way.

Welcome to the depression forum. I am truly glad that you have joined us.

I wonder, how long has your boyfriend been abusing you verbally? I can understand that it is hard not to think about. Does he do this all the time that you two are together? Or a lot of the time? Because you don't need to be talked to in that way. It isn't right that he is doing this to you. If it was just a one time incident, then you should forget about it. But if he does it all the time, you shouldn't take that. That could be why you are depressed. Not that it is his fault. We own our depression, but a situation like that can lead a person to feeling depressed.

I do agree that you need to get counseling to sort this out. That is the place to start. A counselor will access your situation and guide you through. And if your boyfriend is bipolar and not getting the proper threatment, that could be hard on you.

You say that you feel better when you aren't around him. But you don't know if that is because you are happier or because maybe you are putting on a mask when you are around other people. Do you think you are putting on a mask, or do you just feel safer?

Think about the counseling. I think it would be good for you. Him too if he isn't already going. Keep posting, let us know how things are going. I am interested in knowing how often he talks badly to you. Like I said, that is verbal abuse. You don't deserve to live that way.
Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2011
Total Posts : 615
   Posted 12/19/2011 12:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome Brianneb....I am sorry for why you are here. I think Karen had excellent advice...counceling is a way to start. Verbal Abuse can hurt every bit as much as Physical Abuse....do not allow yourself to be abused anymore. Keeping you in my prayers.

All the best, Amy
Chronic Pain(nerve), fibro, mild depression and a few others
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