Sunday Conniption, Right On Schedule...

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 12/18/2011 8:46 PM (GMT -6)   

I am am in the middle of my Sunday night freak out, and I don't know what to do. I feel so stupid. Last night I went with my boyfriend to his company's Christmas party. I felt on top of the world. Then I woke up this morning, remembered it was Sunday, and felt horrible. I feel like I ruin half the time I spend with my boyfriend being sad that he has to leave at some point. It's so stupid. Then when he does leave I feel awful. I can't stop crying. I don't know how I'm going to get to work tomorrow, let alone how I'm going to get through five days of it this week. I'm going home on Friday, but I don't want to. I feel like the gifts I bought are cheesy and not enough, and I just hate the stress that comes with Christmas. Ugh. Sorry if this doesn't make sense, my thoughts are really jumbled right now. I don't know why I freak out like this. I can't stop crying and it just feels like everything is caving in around me. I want to call my boyfriend, but he just left here like two hours ago. Not even. I feel like such a needy crybaby. I hate that I ruin the time I do have with him by being sad that he has to leave at some point. Logically I know it's stupid, emotionally I guess I don't. Arrrgh. I just don't want to cry anymore. I don't want there to be a knot in my stomach. 24 hours ago I was on top of the world and now I'm in a pit of despair. Yuck. I hate Sundays...

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42208
   Posted 12/18/2011 9:38 PM (GMT -6)   
You are truly wasting the time that you have with him by worrying about him leaving. Can you pull yourself in to the now and quit worrying about it and just enjoy? You need to take control of your emotions in this way. You also need to figure out the neediness part of this. It is not healthy for you. I hope that you consider counseling if you aren't already going BlueMoon. And if you are, talk about your insecurity of being away from your boyfriend. You can be in love with somebody but you need to have your own life too. Then appreciate your time together. Not be worrying about when he is gone. You have to figure out what is it that you are getting this feeling of such sadness when you are apart. You should be looking forward to being together without being so sad. I hope you get your feelings sorted out.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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