I wish I could be happy.
You will, I promise, with time and work. You didn't get this way over night, it's gonna take some time to get where you need to be.
I have felt like you, why keep going when all i will be is a disappointment to myself nd everyone else? but i kept going and I finally got help at 36. I am 37 now. I went through some therapy and found some amazing happy pills but it's still work everyday, but so worth it. I look back and feel like wow, I went through years of endless misery.. Countless "attempts" (trust me you have know idea how hard it is to succeed) the human body wants to survive an so does the human spirit.
It will get better, i promise, it has to.. Once you hit bottom, they day, the only way is up..it true.
Crohns dx,Pelvic Floor Tension,Pelvic Adhesive dx,interstitial cystitis,ileostomy,chronic pain,arthritis,fibromyalgia,severe 42 degree scoliosis,degenerative disc dx,neurological impingement,pelvic tilt and complete loss of neck curve. 4th degree tear during childbirth with 13 reconstructive surgeries (including fistulas) resulting in chronic pelvic pain and an ileostomy. Bp and panic attacks.