Thanks Karen...I've explained my condition to my wife over 1,000 times. I've told her and she has witnessed what our trips to visit her mother do to me. She sees how difficult it is for me when I wake up each day in pain. I don't know Karen...my wife, she gets it but refuses to get it!?! She can be so kind, loving, supportive and understanding one moment then the next minute she is putting me down, saying I'm lazy, unmotivated and so gosh darn lucky to not be working as if this was what I wanted. It's like flipping a light switch sometimes. She is stressing out over our finances, I get that, because I am too.
I use to enjoy running, but now I walk...more like limp with a cane. I haven't felt like taking a walk since my Drug Pump Implant surgery back on November 28th. Tomorrow I have a follow up appt. with my pain management doctor and I'm certain he will increase my dosage of morphine. I'm not sure why my pain has increased, other than the trip to NYC? I'm hoping I can start back with my Physical Therapy as well. The PT only helps for that moment, the very next day I'm feeling the same pain...in my muscles and my entire back.
I was a Police Officer for over ten years, so I do have stories to tell. It's a bunch of BS that the Brothers in Blue look after one another. At least that wasn't the case for me. A fellow Police Officer purposely caused an "accident" during a training exercise...so he could "win the game". As a result I have suffered seriouls injury to my neck, back (thoasic & lumbar) and left leg. I also lost not only my job, but my career. My reward was to be terminated and my initial workers compensation award denied. I had a 2-level cervical fusion surgery and a Drug Pump implant. My doctor has also recommended a 4-level Lumbar Fusion surgery, but I have to wait and pray I win my workers comp case, so they can pay for it. By the way, the cervical fusion failed...I still have daily pain and numbness in both my arms, hands and fingers. As I said before I use a cane to get around, but I am grateful I still can walk. I know it could have been much worse, I get that.
To add salt to my wounds, command staff "suggested" no one from the police dept. speak with me due to my workers comp case. The sadest part is that all but two have stopped speaking with me! These were the men and women who I trusted my life with! Command staff is so ashamed of how poorly they treated me that they were afraid the other officers would find out, so they encouraged them not to speak with me...how freakin sad! Basically they kicked me when I was down. I'm embarrassed to say I was a police officer with this department! But, oh boy do I have stories to share!!! By the way, I wrote all this is burst of energy...I guess that's how m going to have to write my book too. Well I've said too much... Thanks again Karen,I'm sure this has enlightened everyone as to where my mind is, as well as my physical state. I'll certainly let everyone know when I've completed my book!