Friend with Depression, Need Advice

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blksteeda
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 1709
   Posted 12/23/2011 10:34 AM (GMT -6)   
My name's Gordon and I frequent the ulcerative colitis forum on the site as that's what I have. I'm posting over here as I'm in a situation that I don't quite understand how I should handle it. I have a girl living with me..we've known each other for about 8 years and have always been great friends. Over this past year we've been getting a lot closer physically. Long story short, she was just recently in jail for about 3 months and I have stood by her every step of the way. She was released on house arrest which is when she moved in with me. Things were going awesome but she did tell me that at some point she was going to get hit with some bad days trying to re-adjust being out of jail. She went through hell in there. She's seen a doctor for quite some time in regards to her anxiety, stress and depression. She is also very self conscious about her weight as she put on a lot while in jail. She used to be 110 and now is 150+. Well about a month ago it was like someone flipped a switch and she got hit with depression pretty hard. I've never experienced being with anyone with depression so this is all new to me. She's been very down, very cranky and short with me, the physical affection between us has dropped considerably and most of the time she doesn't even want to talk at all. I can't give her a simple hug as she doesn't want to be touched at all right now for she's very self conscious about how she looks. We've had discussions and she is assuring me that it's not me or nothing I've done that's causing her to feel like this. In all honesty this is bringing me down as well as I want to be with her and have told her that I'm there if she needs anything. I feel completely helpless on how to handle this situation. Even though I understand it's not me that's making her feel the way she is, it still brings me way down. She can tell when it's upsetting me and she separates herself from me. She doesn't want me to feel that way because it's not me. I just don't know what I can do to make things easier for her. Depression is completely new to me and not understanding exactly how she's feeling is very difficult for me. I know she's currently taking medication but I'm not sure which one. If anyone has any suggestions it would be greatly appreciated. I told her I'd pay for her to see her doctor a second time each month as she has no health insurance and is currently only seeing him once.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42613
   Posted 12/23/2011 11:34 AM (GMT -6)   
about the best thing you can do is encourage her to seek counseling and keep going to the doc. Step back from the situation. Be there for her, but don't push it. When we suffer with depression we become very touchy and negative. Cry at the drop of a hat. It is hard watching somebody suffer with this. But that is about all that you can do is watch. I am sorry for what you are going through. You might even want to start some counseling for yourself so that you can have help in handling this. That is my best recommendation that I can give you. Have patience.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

blksteeda
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 1709
   Posted 12/23/2011 11:58 AM (GMT -6)   
it truly is hard watching her go through this because I know there is nothing directly I can do to help her. She thought she would be back to normal in a couple weeks but it's now a month later and she's not feeling any better. I'm just trying to do my best not to let it bring me down for I know that won't help her at all. I know she's going to be starting school soon and hopefully finding some work. I'm hoping those two things will bring her around a little bit.
Gordon / Male / 37

Active Ulcerative Colitis (left sided)

50mg / 6mp

Colazal 3-3x/day

Remicade Infusion 10mg/kg started 04/10/10

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getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42613
   Posted 12/23/2011 1:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Gordon,

Doing something worth while always helps us. Can you talk her into counseling, or seeing a doctor? Is she on meds? If so she might need a med adjustment or change. This is a hard time of year which doesn't help the situation. Just being there and not giving up I am sure is helping her. You are a good friend.

Take care, blessings to you...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

blksteeda
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2009
Total Posts : 1709
   Posted 12/23/2011 1:54 PM (GMT -6)   
she's been seeing a doctor for a few years now. She can only currently see him once a month and I'm going to pay for a second visit. Her doctor really wants her in twice a week. I know he just put her on Remeron and she's also on a low dose of Xanax and also pain meds due to back trouble from a car accident.
Gordon / Male / 37

Active Ulcerative Colitis (left sided)

50mg / 6mp

Colazal 3-3x/day

Remicade Infusion 10mg/kg started 04/10/10

______________________________________



______________________________________
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