What to do when a daughter will not talk to you

This rift started when my oldest daughter, 34, and I had a falling out about a month ago. I told her I was upset that she didn't call me and when I called her, she was either not home or she would fuss at my granddaughter and grandson the entire time I was talking to her. I would get a headache just listening to that and then I would also get upset that she had to scold them. She disciplines them but not enough. Megan, 5 1/2 is smarter than some adults, too smart. She also talks back too. I get her on the phone when I hear her doing that. I would leave her messages and she didn't return my calls. Since we live 10 States apart, I would expect her to call me. I wrote her an E mail and told her I was upset that she doesn't call and that she doesn't keep up sending me pics of my grandchildren. I fear they will grow up not knowing me, or at least the 3 little ones, ages 3 1/2, 2 and 1. My grandson is 8 and Megan. 3 boys and 2 girls in all. I visit once a yr for about 3 or so weeks depending if I am well enough and I spend a lot of time with my mom as she is getting older at age 84. I also visit with my girls and their families. Well, my youngest daughter stuck her nose where it didn't belong. My eldest daughter called her and told her I was upset with her about not calling or whatever. Up until this time, I was pretty close with my youngest daughter. (even I am getting confused). So, she called me and left me a message on my machine yelling at me not to hurt her sister's feelings and not to call her either unless I can be civil. It was not a rift between me and my oldest daughter. It was a discussion. BTW, she was the one that told me my S-I-L lost his job before Christmas so I didn't even know he was out of work and that's when I really lost it. She was rude and nasty. Now I didn't raise my daughters to be disrespectful...ever. In fact, if it was 27 or so yrs ago, her dad would have beat her butt with a switch from the tree that she got it off of. He was BIG on discipline and I would have to walk far from the house when he did discipline them, not that he beat them but he gave em' a few good licks. Anyway, this cuts ties with my grandchildren and I am upset. This is the kicker. Her sister and I are talking and back to the way it used to be. Colse like sisters. We were always close. She is working through her issues and me through mine. She is a Christain and depends on her faith to keep her life on even keel. We talk a lot about the Lord and what he can do for us. She is taking the kids and her husband goes to church twice a week and that makes me happy.

So what's the moral to this story? It is a   to stick your nose where it doesn't belong. If you do, you can be the one on the outside looking in!

"Lefty"

Post Edited (Having2LeftFeet) : 4/11/2005 7:15:53 AM (GMT-6)

As ever, you make me feel like I am not alone with this situation. Sending books and magazines is an awesome idea. I am going to look into that today on the internet. I still say the same thing. My husband was right when he said, "Mind ya own business". I hate it what that happens. Hugs across the miles!

"Lefty"